funny failed suicide stories

On the day of receiving the marriage certificate, Nora Northwood broke up with her boyfriend and, for the sake of the dowry of 188,000 dollars her stepfather and mother demanded, she impulsively married a stranger. She viewed the dowry money as a loan, working hard after marriage to pay off the debt, hoping to divorce as soon as it was cleared. However, her husband, who initially despised her, suddenly began to subtly flirt with her. She tried hard to stay indifferent but was pinned down on the bed by him when he was drunk. "Wife, aren't my abs sexy? Don’t you want to touch them?" She really did want to touch, but if she did, could she still get a divorce? How could someone like Lily, just a humble aromatherapist, be suitable for a billionaire husband?

Having been reborn in the high school graduation season of 2008, Li Yuan found himself back at the moment when he confessed to the school beauty... Bai Weixi: "Thank you, being liked by you is an honor for me, but I don't want to be in a relationship right now." Li Yuan promptly took back the gift he had presented: "Then give me back the gift I gave you." Bai Weixi, with her beautiful eyes wide, looked at him in disbelief: "Li Yuan, what do you mean?" "You've already rejected me, yet you still want to keep my gift?" "But we are good friends!" "Heh, like I'm short of good friends? What I'm short of is a girlfriend, you get it?" Watching Bai Weixi, disheveled in the wind, Li Yuan turned to ask: "By the way, could you give me your best friend's phone number?" Bai Weixi fumed with anger: "Li Yuan, what are you trying to do?" Li Yuan just shrugged nonchalantly: "Nothing much, she's prettier than you, I've decided to pursue her instead."

[A Story of Male Lead Abuse · A Rebirth Novel] What is love? Young and ignorant, Annabelle Linton spent her entire life to understand that it was an obsession. Once fallen, it's impossible to break free. It can give you life, and it can also bring you death. After her rebirth, she wore a smile on her face, but her eyes were filled with ice. A friend once asked her why she loved him so much. She fell silent, then casually changed the subject without answering, but a dazed look flickered in her eyes. Perhaps it was because the years went by too fast, the world was too harsh, and the road was too difficult to walk alone, and she just wanted a home... **** There were only two kinds of people Mr. Grant hated most in this life: those he hated, and Annabelle Linton. But there was never a reason for hating Annabelle Linton, and he never looked for one. But later, he thought about it. Was it perhaps his confidence that she would never leave, no matter what? But reality later told him that he was wrong. In this world, is there really anyone who would never leave? [This novel's main focus is on the male lead's suffering. The male lead appears to be a jerk, so patience is required. He unknowingly hurt the female lead for many years. After her rebirth, the female lead stays away from him, and the male lead is completely tormented. In the later parts of the story, the male lead will have all the reactions you'd expect to see, such as suicide attempts... But the ending is a happy one. This book isn't exactly a doting romance or a gratifying romp, but it's certainly not a tragic tearjerker. If you enjoy stories that focus on the male lead's suffering, then I think you'll like this one. If you prefer sweet and fluffy stories, please check out my other book, "My Love for You, an Incurable Disease".]

WINNER: 3rd Place, 2021 Werewolf Competition [Mature Content] After escaping suicide forest, August Moon finds that she has only gone deeper into the mysteries it holds. Lycans exist. But maybe she is something even stranger... With a clandestine experimental pandemic, a decade-old murder mystery, and a timeless prejudice against strange members within the lycan community all simmering in the periphery of her newfound surroundings, August must fight to discover her own truth alongside a fierce and possessive male who claims to be her mate.

I recently started a new book as a re – and – better – run of this book's concept, titled: I AWAKENED A DIVINE CURSE In a world where one's worth is determined by Archons—godlike entities who watch over everything—the least you can hope for is to get picked by the most lowly of them. Raith was chosen by the Archon of failure and death. Having emerged from one of the three greatest family, he was forced to leave the family and began a lonely journey of being a Hero as he has always wanted. Hero–that was the only way Raith could redeem himself and be acknowledged by the world. But this Archon is just too useless! However, everything changes on the day when Raith dies for the first time. [Congratulations! You have met the first condition] You can join this discord server for interaction with the author and character illustrations. https://discord.com/invite/9UPNyQN4

The Leviathans and their terrifying powers are shrouded in mystery. Who can comprehend the machinations of these supreme overseers who lurk in the shadows? After dying full of regrets, I found myself fifty years into the past. Beyond uncovering the mysteries that exist in this vast world, I have also made a vow: To pursue the dreams and aspirations that I set aside in my past life. This time, I will ensure to live true to myself, without any restraints whatsoever. I will be free. Tags: Regression. Fantasy. Action. Adventure. Slice of Life. Mystery. Time Travel. Romance. No Harem. Weak to Strong. Antihero. Academy. Cosmic Horror.

This novel is an "always-ongoing" novel containing a compilation of fictional funny stories. New fictional funny stories will be added to new chapters in this book over time.

Takahiro Nao, a 25-year-old burdened by crushing debt and driven solely by his love for his struggling family, meets a tragic end—until a mysterious Goddess of Benevolence offers him a second chance: reincarnated in another world, and his efforts there will provide for his family back on Earth. Awakening in the body of Naoki von Blackmore, a disgraced “Failed Hero,” Nao is thrust into a realm of sword and magic, monsters, and war, tasked with the impossible mission of defeating the Demon King. With newfound powers, a shadowy past, and the weight of two worlds on his shoulders, he must battle not only relentless enemies but fate itself. Blending emotional depth, thrilling action, moments of humor, and a spark of romance, this gripping isekai adventure asks: how far would you go—and what would you sacrifice—for the people you love? Note: Please support me by purchasing premium chapters and don't read on illegal websites. That will keep me motivated to continue this novel... Join discord server to see the illustrations: https://discord.gg/sAv89cz2

This novel contains a compilation on funny chats to entertain all of you. One chapter refers to one chat.

Fu Xiaoxiao transmigrates into a book and immediately faces the crisis of being sent to the countryside. As the unloved middle child, her younger sister is the one meant to go — but her mother transfers her job to the sister instead. A disaster of a start. To avoid being sent away, she has to marry within seven days. She meets a few ordinary men and decides she'd rather go to the countryside. Then she runs into a neighbor who's also looking for a spouse — and his conditions are surprisingly good. A dowry of three hundred? Bicycles and a radio? Just take care of the kids, and separate rooms are fine? The others may pass, but she won't. Every day is a battle of wits with the two kids. Life is eventful, she gets a salary every month, and the boss is never home. Absolutely perfect. Except... wasn't this big shot supposed to be infertile? Then why does he keep strutting around naked in front of her? She has professional ethics. She won't be seduced by a good body. Hmph. Men only slow down her sword swing. Lu Feng grits his teeth at Fu Xiaoxiao, who remains completely unmoved by his countless attempts to seduce her, and traps her in his arms. "Boss, let's talk this through. I know forty a month is a bit much — how about... five less?" Trapped in his embrace, Fu Xiaoxiao thinks he's unhappy with her high salary and starts bargaining. "I'm giving myself to you for free." Lu Feng grinds out through clenched teeth. This woman has no heart. "...Can I say no?" Fu Xiaoxiao swallows, staring at the washboard abs so close. "Such a good deal — are you sure you don't want it?" Lu Feng squints, tempting her. "Fine." A fool turns down a bargain.