funny madlib date story

Tricked by a soothsaying mother, during the ghost year, ghost month, ghost day, and the wide-open Ghost Gate, I sneaked into the deep mountains with a Zhang Family heirloom, the Star Stealing Life-changing Talisman. By a mix-up of Yin and Yang, a devastatingly beautiful thousand-year-old female corpse absorbed some of my life force, and she awakened... Kids over 12, please watch this book together with the little buddy on your back, and don't block his view! (Note: don't turn back now, because he has also seen this text!)

After the blind date, even Ashley Sutton herself didn’t expect to have a flash marriage with a stranger. Her husband, Silas Sinclair, is super handsome but always has a cold face and dislikes her in various ways. Silas Sinclair’s daily thoughts: Woman, you’re getting close to me just for money, right? Hmph, she must have impure motives for doing this! Ashley Sutton, we’re just in a sham marriage. At first, Ashley always thought her husband was just a handsome but cocky salesman. Until one day, the newspaper reported about a billionaire in Felmore spoiling his wife to the extreme. She suddenly realized that it was talking about her husband!

Xue Xi ist gezwungen, sich bei ihrer ersten Begegnung auf den ersten Blick in diesen gefährlichen Mann zu verlieben. Da der Tod die einzige andere Option ist, macht sie den ersten Schritt: "Ich bin reich und ich kann kämpfen." "Sei mein Freund und ich beschütze dich." Von da an verbreitet sich langsam die Nachricht, dass die älteste Tochter der Familie Xue und beste Studentin einen Gigolo hält. Leider ist sie jemand, der die Menschen, die sie ihr eigen nennt, mit aller Kraft beschützt, bis zu jenem schicksalhaften Tag, an dem sie den Mann hinter sich vor den vermeintlichen Hooligans schützt und kalt verkündet: "Mein Freund ist schüchtern, also kommt lieber zu mir, wenn ihr ein Problem habt." Die Hooligans blicken ängstlich in Richtung eines gewissen Big Bosses, der beschützt wird. Der berüchtigte "Black Yama" hat also tatsächlich ein solches Hobby?

Xue Xi is forced to fall in love at first sight with this dangerous man on their first meeting. With death being the only other option, she makes the first move: “I am rich and I can fight.” “Be my boyfriend and I’ll protect you.” From then on, news of the Xue family’s eldest daughter and number one student keeping a gigolo slowly gets out. Alas, she is someone who protects people she calls her own fiercely, until that fateful day—shielding the man behind her from the supposed-hooligans, she proclaims coldly: “My boyfriend is timid, so come at me if you have any issues instead.” The hooligans shivers in fear as they look toward a certain big boss who is being protected. So the infamous “Black Yama” actually has this kind of hobby?

Si Xue Xi ay napilitang mahulog sa unang pagkikita sa mapanganib na lalaking ito sa kanilang unang pagtatagpo. Dahil ang kamatayan ang tanging iba pang pagpipilian, siya ang unang gumawa ng hakbang: "Mayaman ako at marunong akong lumaban." "Maging kasintahan ko at poprotektahan kita." Mula noon, unti-unting kumakalat ang balita tungkol sa panganay na anak ng Pamilyang Xue at number one na estudyante na nagpapanatili ng isang gigolo. Sayang, siya ay isang taong matinding nagpoprotekta sa mga taong tinatawag niyang kanya, hanggang sa takdang araw na iyon—habang pinoprotektahan ang lalaki sa likuran niya mula sa mga itinuturing na hooligans, siya ay malamig na nagpahayag: "Ang kasintahan ko ay mahiyain, kaya lumapit kayo sa akin kung may problema kayo." Nanginig sa takot ang mga hooligans habang tumingin sila sa isang partikular na big boss na pinoprotektahan. Kaya ang kilalang "Itim na Yama" ay may ganitong uri ng libangan?

William Scott, a soldier, returned to the city with the goal to live the rest of his life peacefully. He would practice the lifestyle of a retired person. However, his mother set him up on blind dates time and again. Unwilling to keep up with her arrangements, he was left with no choice but to pretend to be in a relationship with Yvette Quinn, a female CEO who was also forced by her parents to go on blind dates. To his surprise, this was only the beginning of many troubles to come. Before he could get to settling those troubles, he first needed to sort out an even more pressing problem. The girl looked at him and asked, “Take a guess. Am I the elder cousin or the younger cousin? As my boyfriend, you should be able to differentiate between the two of us, right?” His contract girlfriend was so unprofessional. Although they had an agreement, she was always asking her younger cousin to take her place and pretend to be her around him. What should he do about that?

Nach dem Blind Date hatte nicht einmal Ashley Sutton selbst erwartet, eine Blitzehe mit einem Fremden einzugehen. Ihr Ehemann, Silas Sinclair, ist überaus gutaussehend, zeigt jedoch stets ein kühles Gesicht und missbilligt sie auf unterschiedlichste Weise. Silas Sinclairs tägliche Gedanken: Frau, du näherst dich mir nur wegen des Geldes, nicht wahr? Hmph, sie muss unlautere Motive haben, um das zu tun! Ashley Sutton, wir führen lediglich eine Scheinehe. Anfangs dachte Ashley immer, ihr Ehemann sei nur ein gutaussehender, aber eingebildeter Verkäufer. Bis eines Tages die Zeitung über einen Milliardär aus Felmore berichtete, der seine Frau bis zum Äußersten verwöhnt. Plötzlich wurde ihr klar, dass von ihrem Ehemann die Rede war!

This novel is an "always-ongoing" novel containing a compilation of fictional funny stories. New fictional funny stories will be added to new chapters in this book over time.

"Block him." "He's technically still my boss." "Then block him with dignity." The call ended again. And then started again. I let out a sound somewhere between a growl and a sob, then finally answered with the enthusiasm of a snail crawling through salt. "Yes, Mr. Walton?" "Have you changed your mind yet?" I collapsed onto the towel and gazed at the sky as though it might consume me entirely if I pleaded sweetly enough. "Do you ever take a break?" I asked, shielding my eyes with one hand. "You're avoiding the question." "Because it's a dumb question." He exhaled, the sound sharp and irritated even over phone. "It's not a dumb question. It's a business offer." "It's a weird offer-one that I already said no to." There was a brief pause, and I could practically hear him clenching his jaw through the speaker. "You are acting unreasonably." " Unreasonable?" I sat up. "I'm not the one drafting fake girlfriend contracts like it's a normal Tuesday." "Isabella-" "Certainly not, Mr. Walton." I mimicked his tone perfectly. "I told you I'm not doing it. You need to find someone else to play pretend with." SYNOPSIS Isabella Miller thought saying no to her boss’s fake dating offer was the end of the story. But Adrien Walton doesn’t take no—especially not when he’s convinced she’s a gold digger. Suddenly, her student loans are piling up, her father’s vet clinic is on the brink of eviction and her brother is about to be kicked out of college. Coincidence? She thinks not. Adrien Walton is calm, calculating—and he's just pulled every string to corner Isabella into the perfect position. Now she’s stuck choosing between pride and survival. So she agrees to his offer: be his fake girlfriend. No feelings attached. No drama. Just business. Or so she thought. "Conference Room B. Fifteen minutes," he said, passing by without a glance. The folder he pushed across the table landed with a thud. I opened it. The contract. All of it. --- Enemies to lovers? Check. Slow burn? Hmmnyea. Banter so sharp it might file your nails? Yes. Delicious workplace tension? Of course. Tension that could melt steel?Absolutely. Smut?? Wanna find out? Welcome to corporate romance warfare. There’s no escaping this contract.

To be resurrected, Lin Zhi binds herself to a system and transmigrates into different book worlds, becoming cannon fodder destined for tragic endings. But Lin Zhi refuses to follow the script. In every world, she fights to rewrite her fate. (1) The Scheming Gold-Digging Stand-In Used by the male lead as a tool to win over the female lead, Lin Zhi refuses to be discarded. Since he wants to use her? Then she’ll make a countermove—get pregnant first, flip the board, and end up with the real overbearing CEO. (2) The First Wife Fated to Die Early in a “Cousin” Story The reborn female lead knows her older male cousin will hold immense power in the future—and that he has always loved her. This time, she vows not to let him go. Only… “Sister-in-law, why aren’t you dead yet?” Lin Zhi smiles. “Still alive. What, are you mad?” (3) The Cannon Fodder Fiancée in a Teacher-Student Romance The aloof Master falls for his young disciple, while Lin Zhi—the fiancée—becomes the villain in their love story. Lin Zhi: “Respect. Blessings. Please stay locked together forever.” Then she decisively breaks off the engagement and devotes herself to cultivation… alongside her adorable little nephew. Who needs romance when ascending is better? (4) The Substitute Bride in a Period Drama In her previous life, she stole the marriage meant for her sister out of gratitude for a life-saving favor, marrying the factory director’s son. Who would have thought he had a “white moonlight” in his heart, leading to her tragic death? Meanwhile, the “mud-legged” man she rejected rose in status, and her sister became an official’s wife. After rebirth, her sister eagerly snatches back the original marriage arrangement, convinced Lin Zhi is doomed. She waits to watch Lin Zhi suffer. Instead— Lin Zhi’s life only gets better and better.