Community: IM Ian Duncan
You wake as Ian Duncan, Greendale's grandfathered professor, the man everyone still calls the campus drunk. Your one real edge reads every liar in the room.
Yesterday you were nobody's problem. Now you read the whole room, but the Half-Sober Read switches on only at one half-empty glass, the pour killing the real Duncan for years. Sober, you read worse than anyone.
So you set the vodka-water down, pour it into the ficus, and read stone-sober anyway. Nobody clocks the professor they filed under 'absent' running the committee, except Jeff Winger, and every lie you tell him costs double the standing you can't spare.
But every read still asks for the glass, and every glass banks a bill on a body already dying when you moved in. How long can you buy the room's trust with a liver that's already writing the invoice?