HP: The Perverted Badger
Adrian Clarke thought he had been reborn into an ordinary world.
So he made ordinary plans: study hard, invest early, become wealthy, and enjoy a peaceful life without doing anything heroic.
Then an owl delivered his Hogwarts acceptance letter.
Adrian suddenly realised that he had been living inside the world of Harry Potter—and that the most dangerous years in modern magical history were about to begin.
Unfortunately, refusing Hogwarts was not an option. His uncontrolled magic would eventually turn him into an Obscurial and kill him.
Fortunately, Adrian awakened a System. Unfortunately, something seemed to be seriously wrong with it. Why was it called the Pervert Wizard System?
He received his answer when his first mission ordered him to practise spells naked in front of his bedroom window. The punishment for refusing was impotence for an entire week.
That was when Adrian realised his new cheat was not going to help him become the next Merlin with dignity intact.
The system rewards shameless missions with Pervert Points, spells, skills, potion knowledge, enchanted items, magical bloodlines, and powers from worlds far beyond Britain. The tasks, however, range from embarrassing to dangerously inappropriate.
And Hogwarts is not quite the school Adrian remembers.
In this world, Hogwarts is an adult magical university filled with short house skirts, seductive professors, dangerous secrets, jealous witches, and far more freedom than any responsible institution should allow.
Sorted into Hufflepuff, Adrian plans to remain underestimated, gather enough power to survive Voldemort’s return, and avoid changing the future more than necessary.
That plan begins falling apart almost immediately.
Susan Bones becomes possessive after a single train journey.
Hermione Granger starts writing rules about where Adrian’s hands are allowed.
Professor McGonagall gets petted and called a good kitty.
Professor Sprout notices exactly where his eyes keep wandering.
Fred and George recruit him into Hogwarts’ newest nightmare.
And the system continues issuing missions no respectable Hufflepuff would ever accept.
Adrian knows many of the dangers waiting ahead.
He just does not know how much his system, his growing relationships, and his terrible decisions will change the story.
Then again, Adrian has never claimed to be a respectable badger.
Adult Hogwarts University AU — comedy, magic, progression, romance, harem, and mature content. All romantic characters are adults.