taser self funny story

Strong? Handsome? Savage? Badass? It's all about the intelligence quotient, my friend. ———— PS: Mutation shouldn't be mistaken for enlightenment.

"I've destroyed your face. Let's see how you'll seduce men now!" "I want to pluck all your hair too. Let's see how you'll seduce other married men!" The woman screamed while she cut off Mei Shu's hair. She then directly stabbed the scissors into her head and put an end to her pitiful life. Mei Shu had already been bedridden for over ten years. Her face was practically unrecognizable. Her four younger brothers were either injured, crippled, sick, or barely alive. This was all thanks to the woman next to her bed. Many years ago, Mei Shu's mother died in a car accident. Not long after that, her stepmother moved in with her stepsister, Mei Mu. Mei Shu's stepmother found a way to send Mei Shu to the countryside. After that, Mei Shu's stepmother and stepsister slowly took over all the Mei family's possessions. When Mei Shu was about to turn eighteen, they brought her home. The only reason they did that was to acquire the inheritance her mother left behind. After that, they kept plotting and scheming against her. They sowed discord between Mei Shu and her four younger brothers. Until the day Mei Shu died in the hospital, her brothers still had no idea she wasn't the one who started the fire that ruined their lives. After dying, Mei Shu refused to move on. She reincarnated to the time she was seventeen with her own system. She wanted to change her fate and rescue her brothers! In their previous lifetime, she and her brothers treated each other like enemies. In this lifetime... "Mei Shu, I'll do anything you tell me to," her first brother said. "Who dares to bully my sister?" Her second brother asked. "Mei Shu belongs to me!" Her third brother exclaimed. "Do you wish to marry my sister? Let's see if you have what it takes!" Her fourth brother uttered. [System: Quest completed! You'll be rewarded with a husband!"

"Thanks for the invite, I'm in New York, just got off the plane." Du Wei realized he had traveled through time. Having no choice, he had to resume his old trade and opened a psychological consultation clinic, but the patients seeking psychological advice were all a bit strange... Note: This book is set in the Soul Summoning Universe.

"Hot Noodles request to add you as a friend." An inexplicable friend request, a non-existent contact. Claiming to be a message from herself in the future, intimately knowledgeable about her past. Fang Xiaocao was utterly numb. Hot Noodles: Danger, do not go home tonight. "Is this some kind of joke?" Staring at the WeChat message, Fang Xiaocao rolled her eyes and opened the anti-theft door. Hot Noodles: At midnight, when the knocking starts, don't turn on the light if you don't want to die. In the early morning: 00:00:00 Fang Xiaocao was woken by the knocking sound. She was just about to turn on the bedside lamp when she remembered that bizarre message. She pulled back her hand and stayed put until dawn, only to know her neighbor next door, a woman living alone just like her was murdered at midnight... Fang Xiaocao was suddenly covered in a cold sweat. Hot Noodles: To celebrate our narrow escape from death, go to the flea market before three in the afternoon, stall number 7, and buy the seventh inkstone on the left-hand side. The seller's bottom price is 80, but the inkstone is worth 8 million. After last night's ordeal, Fang Xiaocao inexplicably chose to believe. She successfully bought an inkstone for a hundred dollars, and later discover it was indeed a imperial inkstone from the Qing Qianlong era, worthing 8 million! Fang Xiaocao stood there, dumbfounded! Following the message's instructions, she bought a second-hand car. But little did she know, the guidance was linking her into a series of events that dragged out a murder case and a fortune worth two small goals. Who on earth sent her the messages? It's really her future self? Or it's some kind of bizarre game?

This novel is an "always-ongoing" novel containing a compilation of fictional funny stories. New fictional funny stories will be added to new chapters in this book over time.

This novel contains a compilation on funny chats to entertain all of you. One chapter refers to one chat.

This novel contains funny conversations between fictional people. They are written to entertain all of you. One chapter represents one conversation in this novel.

This novel is an always ongoing novel containing funny stories. One chapter represents one story. New funny stories will be added here over time. So, stay tuned! Notes: All stories and characters in this novel here are fictional! This novel is just for fun!

Judul asli: Ren Zha Fanpai Zijiu Xitong (人渣反派自救系统) Judul Inggris: The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System Penulis: Mo Xiang Tong Xiu Genre: Danmei, xianxia, transmigrasi, fantasi, romansa, komedi, satire Sinopsis Shen Yuan adalah pembaca novel xianxia bergenre harem yang menurutnya penuh plot kacau dan karakter tidak masuk akal. Setelah meninggal secara mendadak, ia justru bereinkarnasi ke dalam novel tersebut. Masalahnya, ia bukan menjadi tokoh utama. Ia masuk ke tubuh Shen Qingqiu, guru antagonis yang dalam cerita asli memperlakukan muridnya dengan kejam. Murid itu adalah Luo Binghe, protagonis yang kelak akan menjadi penguasa iblis terkuat dan membalas dendam dengan menyiksa Shen Qingqiu sampai mati. Untuk menghindari takdir tragis itu, Shen Qingqiu berusaha mengubah alur dengan memperlakukan Luo Binghe lebih baik. Namun setiap tindakannya diawasi oleh sebuah “Sistem” yang memaksanya tetap mengikuti garis besar plot. Upayanya untuk menyelamatkan diri justru menciptakan perubahan tak terduga. Luo Binghe tumbuh menjadi sosok yang sangat kuat, emosional, dan terobsesi pada gurunya. Di balik nuansa komedi dan parodi terhadap novel harem, kisah ini berkembang menjadi cerita tentang takdir, pilihan, trauma, serta hubungan kompleks antara guru dan murid yang melampaui batas dunia manusia dan iblis.

Leo and Deo were lover gods that have been in love with each ever since they were created, and they had lived different lifetime together with no changes to their heart desires. Maybe they could have been changes to their heart desires if they didn't shared one heart, which means whatever happen to one happens to other. However, Leo was a god with a demonic side and a good side which are the souls of his powers. The demonic side of Leo is called Fawrus, and the good side of him is called Fawmus, and they are both what owns his shared powers. Leo's demonic side, which was Fawrus, sought to end Deo to make Leo powerful and have revenge on Deo for what Deo done to him . Fawrus felt that the death of Deo is what will make Leo achieve his true purpose and greatness, and in the process, he will release Lucifer from hell to unleash hell on Earth as intended. However, Leo's good side, which was Fawmus, has to do everything in his powers to save Deo, since he loved Deo and wanted to stop Fawrus, which is the only way to put an end to the hell that will be unleash on Earth. Leo himself will have to give up everything including his life to save Deo from his demonic self, and make sure she is safe for all eternity.