SAMARA 77
What is a Super Science Magical Girl supposed to do when her umbrella gives her a costume and suggests destroying a city is an appropriate response to a broken coffee machine? Or when her mom teaches her that knifing someone is the correct answer in almost any situation?
Author's Note: Worlds will be threatened, but if I didn’t try to make you laugh along the way, what would be the point?
Most teenagers want a car. Sam’s dad refuses to buy her one. Instead, she gets a sarcastic, sentient umbrella that occasionally pops open on its own, startles her, and then shoots particle beams through pirate ships.
Raised on Earth by retired space adventurers, Samara is just trying to follow her mother’s one absolute rule: graduate high school. But keeping a low profile is impossible when your family takes you on Indiana Jones-style vacations where you end up in bar fights with street gangs. (Sam swears she didn’t intentionally crack that guy’s skull—the umbrella just has a very aggressive definition of self-defense.)
If that wasn’t absurd enough, she discovers she is a clone of a madwoman intent upon copying herself across the universe—a feat that requires technology operating more like terrifying magic than machinery.
Now, the intergalactic chaos her parents retired from is knocking on her front door. She has to protect her otherworldly best friend from a psycho, high-tech preacher and his Prophet, dodge a ruthless Pirate Queen in search of an alien coin, and learn more about the one secret her dad kept from her that she is actually frustrated about: a post-scarcity Library of Everything boasting city-sized theme parks and doorways to anywhere in the cosmos.
Earth high school was supposed to be the hard part. Now it’s just out-of-date required reading.
What to Expect (The Non-Flowery Version):
- Weird Science: Starships that break the speed of light simply because rich people can afford to ignore the laws of physics.
- Sci-Fi "Magic": Technology so absurdly advanced it might as well be magic. It’s a strict sci-fi universe, but that doesn't mean "magic" isn't on the menu.
- Extreme Escalation: Situations snowball aggressively. Sam goes from surviving high school to literally altering the fabric of the universe itself.
- Douglas Adams-Style Absurdity: Explore the Library of Things—the second wonder of the universe, right behind the cosmic void where God coughed while forming the universe. It only gets weirder from there.
- An Insane Character Arc: Follow Sam’s wild, involuntary promotion from ordinary high school student, to Empress, to Universe Editor.
- The Ultimate Mystery: Discover why the original madwoman Samara cloned herself a million times (resulting in our Sam). The answer is exactly what you might guess, but absolutely nothing like you'd expect in application.