Welcome to The Complete Collection of Humorous Long Jokes! Here are some jokes you might like:
Why did the bear hug the tree and fall? Because the tree said,"Let go of me!"
Why do lions always win games? Because it was the king of lions.
Why do monkeys like to climb trees? Because they didn't have legs, they wanted to add the word 'monkey' to 'monkey'.
Why do dogs always chase their tails? Because they felt that their tails were another dog.
Why do fish like to swim? Because they were the kings of water.
Why do chickens like to sing? This was because they were the kings of birds.
Why do pigs like to dance? Because they were the kings of meat.
Why do rabbits rarely climb trees? Because they were the kings of the rabbits.
Why is the cow always standing at the door? Because they were the kings of bulls.
Why Can't a Panda Be a Police Officer? Because they were the kings of bears.
Sure. Here's a joke. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. It's funny because it plays on the double meaning of 'make up'. Atoms literally make up everything in the physical sense, but the phrase 'make up' can also mean to lie, so it's a humorous play on words.
Humor, jokes and funny stories can make our life better in many ways. For example, when we are feeling down, a good joke can instantly lift our mood. Just like a simple one - 'Why is the doctor so angry? Because he has no patience.' It makes us laugh and forget our problems for a while.
They usually play on the flaws and absurdities of human nature. In a short story, a miser who is so stingy that he tries to bargain with the Grim Reaper to take someone else instead of him. The combination of the serious concept of death and the ridiculous behavior of the miser creates that dark humorous effect.
Of course, I can collect some funny stories and jokes for you. Here are some examples:
1 A man went to the movies and realized he had watched too much, so he said,"I can tell this movie is so bad." Another said,"No, you just heard all the rhythms."
2 A man said to his girlfriend,"I like you a little." His girlfriend said,"So much?" I don't have any." The man said,"No, I just like your smile."
3 A man asked his girlfriend,"You have a little blue eyes." His girlfriend said,"Yes, I ordered blue glasses." The man said,"No, I'm just saying that I have blue eyes and you have blue glasses."
4 When a man heard that he often chatted with a young man, he said,"I think the coolest thing about young people is that they are a little fat." The subject said," No, the coolest thing is to experience some surprises." The guy said," No, you're not as cool as me. I've been through some of the coolest things, like being thought of as a princess."
A man asked his girlfriend,"What do you like about me?" His girlfriend said,"I like the way you talk to me." The man said,"No, what I like is that you can understand me."
I hope these jokes can help you satisfy your needs!
A group of vampires held a blood drive. This is funny in a dark humor sense because vampires are supposed to take blood by force, but here they are doing it in a more civilized way, which is completely against their nature. It's a humorous take on the traditional view of vampires.
Here's one. A man goes to the doctor and says, 'Doctor, I think I'm a moth.' The doctor says, 'Well, you should see a psychiatrist. Why did you come to me?' The man replies, 'The light was on here.'
Here is one. A man goes to the doctor and says, 'Doctor, I think I'm a moth.' The doctor says, 'I'm a doctor, not a psychiatrist. Why did you come here?' The man replies, 'Well, your light was on.'
Alright, here's a funny joke:
One day, a snail wanted to go to the movies, but he couldn't climb a tree, so he decided to go to a nearby pond to watch a movie.
When the snail reached the pond, it saw a huge movie screen. It began to crawl slowly toward the screen but soon stopped. It began to think,"Where should I start climbing?"
At this time, a frog walked by and saw the snail's question, so it said,"You don't have to crawl. You can jump directly to the screen!"
The snail nodded and jumped onto the screen. However, when it looked up at the movie, it realized that there was no movie on the screen! It was very surprised and asked,"Why isn't the movie on the screen?"
When the frog heard this question, it immediately replied,"Because the movie screen is a two-dimensional plane with no thickness, so the movie is not inside!"
The snail thought for a moment and then said,"Oh, I know. I should crawl under it!"
At this moment the frog came over again and said,"No, you should climb over it!"
"I'm sorry," he said.