The first step is to admit what you've done. Just be honest and tell her that you spied on her and that you're sorry. Then, listen to her reaction without interrupting. She might be angry or hurt, but let her express her feelings.
The first step is to have a calm conversation with your dad. Just simply explain the differences between you and your mom clearly. For example, you can talk about your own unique hobbies, interests, and the way you think which are different from your mom's.
You can start by being kind and respectful to others. Do well in your studies if you are a student, like getting good grades and actively participating in class. Also, help out with household chores without being asked, it shows your responsibility and consideration.
Be a good listener. Really listen to what she has to say, whether it's about her day at school, her dreams or her problems. Let her know that her thoughts and feelings are important.
You can start by doing small chores around the house like washing the dishes or taking out the trash without being asked. Also, making her a handmade card with a sweet message can bring a smile to her face.
Another way is to help with the laundry. Sort the clothes according to color, put them in the washing machine, and then help with folding them when they are dry.
Help her with the housework without being asked. Do the dishes, clean the living room or take out the trash. These small acts can show your love and thoughtfulness.
First, try to understand her motives. Maybe she had bad experiences in the past or she just loves you so much and is worried. Then, communicate. Say something like 'Mom, I know you care about me, but I need to learn and grow in my relationships on my own. I will come to you if I have problems.' Also, you can ask her to trust your judgment more. If she still oversteps, limit the information you share about your boyfriends with her until she respects your boundaries.