courtes blagues marrantes

"Hi....I'm allergic to Semen" Sahara was never the type to shy away from her insecurities, if anything she boldly embraced them. This however was more than an insecurity, it was something she had no control over, an allergy she had developed from a one-night stand but darned it if she was going to let it stop her from tasting every flavor of male jelly. As she navigates this newfound life, will she be able to find both love and healing in one person?

An extremely depressed teen meets a strange hallucination, and beings a battle to transform depression and what seems like his fear of _everything_ into the strong talent it should be: an uncanny heroic grade ability to see threats and assess risks in time to act, with poise, under intense pressure.

A young teenager by the name Ezra is involved in the kidnapping of his best friend Al. Will they find the kidnapper or will it forever be a mystery? Will he ever see his friend again...? (Uploads on Mondays at 8:30.)

Han Yoora atau lebih akrab dipanggil Arra, bukan gadis super cantik ataupun seksi hanya seorang gadis kesepian karena berulang kali kehilangan orang-orang yang dia sayangi, tapi disetiap dia kehilangan selalu mendapat pengganti kebahagiaan yang lain yang sudah siap menunggunya datang. kali ini apakah dia akan bahagia selamanya, ataukah hanya kebahagiaan sesaat seperti yang sudah berlalu.

Historical Novel on the lives of three people tied together by everything except blood and the unlikely new findings that form at the end of the Goryeo Dynasty in Korea. Will the trio go their separate ways in order to fulfill their own ambitions or stay together as they have since childhood when they were abandoned by everyone around them?

JEON JUNGKOOK FANFIC STARING: Jeon Jungkook and Nyzellry Kim (as you)  WARNING: There are 15+ chapters here that are not allowed from 14 below readers/ sensitive readers. But if you're open minded you can read my story.   —{PROLOGUE} —  Naalimpungatan ako sa pagkakatulog pero hindi ko muna idinalat ang aking mata.May kung anong mabigat sa t'yan ko pero binalewala ko. Ramdam ko rin ang matiim na pagtitig nito sa'kin. Maya-maya pa ay ramdam ko na sa leeg ko ang hininga niya. Naka ramdam ako ng kiliti sa bandang doon. "I know you're awake Baby, Open your eyes please." Nag-aakit ang tono ng tinig niya. Napalunok ako na sinasabayan ng panginginig. Shit, those sweet voice of him is really driving me crazy. Hindi parin ako dumidilat at inaantay ang susunod niyang gagawin. Ilang segundo ang lumipas ng maramdaman ko ang paghaplos niya sa tungki ng aking ilong. Samantalang ang isang kamay niya nasa loob na ng suot kong pantulog na blouse. Ilang beses akong napa lunok ng maramdaman kong nasa dibdib ko na ito. "J-jungkook."Hirap na sambit ko ramdam kong parang may bumukol sa bandang pang-upo ko. Nagpatuloy siya sa pagmasahe samantalang ako naman ay parang mawawala sa sarili dahil sa hindi ko alam na pakiramdam. Bago sa'kin ang pakiramdam na 'to. Isang sensenasyong di ko mawari. "You had the lovely breast baby. Pinalaki mo sila ng maayos."Duon lang ako napadilat at nanlalaking matang tumingin sa'kanya. Agad na bumangon ako at agad syang tiningnan ng masama. Naka higa ito at may kakaibang ngisi ang nasa labi nito. Nanindig aking balahibo. "C-cuz.. W-why are you doing this?" Pa bulong kong sabi sa kanya. Napa yakap nalang ako sa sarili dahil sa kanyang ginawa. "Because i love you baby, i always do." He said. Akmang hahawakan na nya ang aking mga pisnge ng tabigin ko sa ere ang kanyang kamay. Nangunot ang kanyang noo habang may mapupungay na matang tumingin sa akin. "Jungkook, we are cousin! We. Are. Cousins! Mali to eh maling mali. Hindi tayo pwedeng mag sama dahil mag pinsan tayo. Mali ang mahalin mokong higit pa sa pagiging pinsan. Bawal natin gawin ang bagay nato dahil mag pinsan tayo. Mag ka dugo tayo. Bawal maging tayo, bawal na bawal." Nang hihina aking matang tumingin sa kanya. "I-i'm sorry c-cuz But we cant be--" aalis na sana ako ng higitin nya aking kamay. Sa lakas ng kanyang pag hila ay napa higa ako ng kama. "Fuck you! You said last night you love me? I clearly hear that. You said you fucking love me. Then now, you're saying that 'We cant be loving each other because we're cousins?!' How rude you are baby? I fucking assumed that you really do love me. But you fucking didn't?!" Bulyaw nya dahilan para mapikit na lamang at taim-ting napa iyak habang pikit ang mata. Napitlag naman ako ng maramdaman ang maiinit nitong labing humahalik sa sensitibong parte ng aking leeg. Napa hawak ako sa buhok nito ng kagatin nya ang maliit na parte dito. Nag sisimula na naman sya, ginagawa na naman nya ang bagay na ito. Ang bagay na dapat ay hindi nya ginagawa dahil mali. Dahil mag pinsan kami, pero wala akong magagawa.. Oo mahal ko sya, p-pero mali eh. Dahil ginawa kaming mag ka dugo, ginawa kaming mag pinsan. "I dont fucking care baby if this is wrong. I dont fucking care what other will say. I just love you, i really love you. And no one, No ONE can stop me from loving you. I will do anything just to be with you forever, anything! Mark my word." 

Dr. Kevin Matthews is so wrapped up in his work, he hasn’t found time for love or even casual fun in far too long.<br><br>When gorgeous new nurse Mac Winters shows up at the hospital, the attraction between him and Kevin is immediate and intense. After several weeks of flirting and heated stares, they finally spend an evening getting to know each other.<br><br>Unfortunately, just when things turn hot and heavy, Mac announces he’s abstaining from sex because he’s tired of hookups and wants something real. Then he surprises Kevin by announcing he’s going to court the doctor. Can two modern men have an old-fashioned romance – and build something true and lasting together -- while taking sex out of the equation?

Born in the Moor, Amon is no stranger to adversity. In a lawless wasteland where dog eats dog, he learned to survive. And if there's one thing Amon is good at, it's surviving. When he is enslaved and dragged to be sold off to the highest bidder, he thinks the end has come. But when a decorated mercenary company takes him in, a spark of hope ignites.

Fu Xiaoxiao transmigrates into a book and immediately faces the crisis of being sent to the countryside. As the unloved middle child, her younger sister is the one meant to go — but her mother transfers her job to the sister instead. A disaster of a start. To avoid being sent away, she has to marry within seven days. She meets a few ordinary men and decides she'd rather go to the countryside. Then she runs into a neighbor who's also looking for a spouse — and his conditions are surprisingly good. A dowry of three hundred? Bicycles and a radio? Just take care of the kids, and separate rooms are fine? The others may pass, but she won't. Every day is a battle of wits with the two kids. Life is eventful, she gets a salary every month, and the boss is never home. Absolutely perfect. Except... wasn't this big shot supposed to be infertile? Then why does he keep strutting around naked in front of her? She has professional ethics. She won't be seduced by a good body. Hmph. Men only slow down her sword swing. Lu Feng grits his teeth at Fu Xiaoxiao, who remains completely unmoved by his countless attempts to seduce her, and traps her in his arms. "Boss, let's talk this through. I know forty a month is a bit much — how about... five less?" Trapped in his embrace, Fu Xiaoxiao thinks he's unhappy with her high salary and starts bargaining. "I'm giving myself to you for free." Lu Feng grinds out through clenched teeth. This woman has no heart. "...Can I say no?" Fu Xiaoxiao swallows, staring at the washboard abs so close. "Such a good deal — are you sure you don't want it?" Lu Feng squints, tempting her. "Fine." A fool turns down a bargain.

[Irresistible MC + Farming & Entrepreneurship + Strong Female Lead + Cute Baby + Love Rivalry + Farming System + Male Competition] Deng Yuyuan wakes up to find she has transmigrated into a period novel about a "pampered group darling" — as the biological mother of the vicious female villain. The female villain has a biased grandmother, a mooching uncle and his family, a blindly filial father, and a spineless mother. She was a small-time thief as a child. As an adult, she committed every kind of evil — constantly framing the female lead — and ultimately met a miserable end. The female lead is the only daughter in another family, doted on by her older brothers. The villain targeted her out of pure jealousy. And now, Deng Yuyuan has become that villain's cowardly mother — and the villain herself is currently just an ugly, wrinkly-faced infant. The blindly filial father loves his wife, but gives all the good things to his own mother. He says to his starving wife and daughter: "Xiao Yuan, come drink some water. I specially heated it for you." Deng Yuyuan looks at her own bony frame and her tiny child — and decides to get a divorce. Goodbye, useless husband. She's going to raise this little cub with an abundance of money and love. No way she'll go astray this time. Lost one husband, gained a crowd of suitors. A beautiful sent-down youth coveted by many — she knows some self-defense and burns the midnight oil studying. With the reinstatement of the college entrance exams, she takes her child toward a much wider world. Riding the wave of the times, Deng Yuyuan works her way up to become a gaming tycoon and a cutting-edge scientist... Except — why are so many men fighting to be her cub's stepfather?