What are some of the funniest religious jokes stories you know?
Once, a bishop was visiting a remote parish. He noticed a parrot in the corner of the church that kept saying, 'Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!' The bishop was very impressed and asked the priest how he had trained the parrot. The priest said, 'Well, it took some time. Every time the parrot said something bad, I put it in the freezer for a few minutes. After a while, it learned to say positive religious phrases.' The bishop was about to leave when he heard the parrot say, 'Hey, if you let that old guy out, I'll tell you where the cookies are!' This shows a humorous take on the idea of 'training' in a religious context and the parrot's unexpected outburst.
There was a nun who was also a very talented artist. She painted a beautiful picture of the Virgin Mary. She showed it to the mother superior who said, 'Sister, this is wonderful, but you know we don't have much money. Maybe you could paint some of the saints without their halos and we can sell them as portraits of normal people.' So the nun painted a few more pictures. When the mother superior saw them, she gasped, 'Sister! You painted the halos on the wrong heads!' This joke humorously plays with the religious imagery and the nun's well - meaning but slightly bumbling attempt at following the mother superior's advice.
A little boy was in church with his mother when he started feeling ill. 'Mommy,' he said, 'can we leave now?' 'No,' his mother replied. 'Well, I think I have to throw up!' the boy said. The mother told him, 'Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush.' After about sixty seconds, the boy returned to his seat. 'Did you throw up?' his mother asked. 'Yes,' he replied. 'How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so quickly?' his mother asked. 'I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy. They have a box next to the front door that says, 'For the Sick.'" This joke is funny as it shows the child's innocent misunderstanding of the religious item (collection box) in the church.
What are the funniest jokes stories you know?
A great joke story is about a man who goes to a pet store. He asks for a parrot that can sing. The store owner gives him a parrot. The man takes it home, but the parrot won't sing. He takes it back to the store and says, 'This parrot won't sing.' The store owner says, 'Oh, you want a singer? You should have asked for a canary!' This shows how misunderstandings can lead to funny situations. Another story could be about a duck that goes into a store and asks for some grapes. The clerk says, 'We don't sell grapes here, we sell groceries.' The duck says, 'Oh, well, no grapes then. Thanks anyway.' It's the simple and unexpected responses that make these joke stories so funny.
What are the characteristics of the funniest jokes and stories in 'funniest jokes and stories'?
Another is the use of absurdity. Like a story where a man tries to use a banana as a phone. The illogical nature of such a scenario is humorous. These funny jokes and stories often play with the norms of our daily life and turn them on their head, making us laugh. They can also involve wordplay, like puns, which add an extra layer of humor.
Can you share some funny religious jokes stories?
In a small village, there was a very pious old woman. She always prayed loudly. One day, her neighbor said, 'You don't have to shout. God has good ears.' The old woman replied, 'I know, but the devil has bad ears and I want him to know I'm not on his side.' This joke plays on the idea of the battle between good and evil in religious beliefs and the old woman's determination to show her allegiance to God in a rather comical way.
What are some of the funniest new year jokes and stories?
Joke: What's a New Year's resolution for a math teacher? To stop going off on tangents! It's funny because math teachers are often known for getting a bit carried away with extra explanations that might not be directly related to the main topic, and a New Year's resolution to stop that is quite humorous.
Can you share some from 'funniest jokes and stories'?
Well, another funny story could be about a chicken that thought it was a dog. It tried to bark at the mailman every day, which really confused the poor mailman. This kind of absurd and unexpected situation often makes for a really funny story.
What are the funniest best Irish jokes stories?
A priest in Ireland was driving down a country road when a policeman stopped him. The priest asked, 'Is there a problem, officer?' The policeman replied, 'You were speeding, Father.' The priest said, 'Oh, forgive me, I was daydreaming about my sermon.' The policeman said, 'Well, I'll let you off with a warning, but next time, slow down.' The priest drove off slowly. A few miles down the road, the policeman saw the priest's car pulled over. He walked up and asked, 'Is there a problem, Father?' The priest said, 'I'm not sure, I just stopped to give this rosary a speeding ticket.' This is a funny play on the priest's piety and the situation of getting a speeding ticket.
Collect the funniest jokes you think!
I don't know how to tell jokes, but I can give you some advice on how to write a novel. I hope it will help you!
What are some of the funniest real life jokes stories you've heard?
At a family gathering, my uncle was trying to open a jar of pickles. He struggled for ages, using towels for grip and everything. Finally, he gave up and said, 'These pickles are clearly not meant to be eaten today. They must be on a hunger strike.' It had the whole family in stitches. There's something about the way he just gave up and made that joke that was really funny. And it was a moment that everyone could relate to, because we've all had those times when we just can't open something no matter how hard we try.
Can you tell me some of the funniest christmas jokes and stories?
Joke: What does Santa Claus use when he has trouble walking? A candy cane! Story: One Christmas, Santa's sleigh broke down in a small village. The villagers were so excited to have Santa there that they all worked together to fix the sleigh. In return, Santa gave them extra presents. It was a Christmas filled with kindness and magic.
What are some of the funniest maritime stories you know?
There was a captain who had a parrot on his ship. The parrot would mimic the captain's orders. One day, when the captain shouted 'All hands on deck!', the parrot repeated it so many times that all the sailors were running around in circles not knowing which 'order' was the real one. It led to a lot of chaos and laughter on the ship.