He should first stay calm. Reacting impulsively will only make things worse. Then, he can talk to his wife privately when she's sober and express how he feels about what she shared. For example, if she shared something about their sex life, he can gently tell her that it made him uncomfortable.
She can communicate clearly with her husband. Let him know that she feels forced and uncomfortable. For example, she can say 'I don't like being pushed into this for your friend. It's not fair to me.'
She could confront both of them. Let them know that she is aware of what's going on and that their actions are unacceptable. This way, she takes control of the situation and doesn't let them keep her in the dark.
She could immediately apologize to her boss and ask him to keep the information confidential. For example, she can say something like 'I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to share that. It was a mistake and I hope you can keep it between us.'
He could first take some time to cool down and not react impulsively. Then he might want to have an honest conversation with his wife to understand her reasons, if any. As for the friend, he could cut off ties with him immediately. After that, he needs to decide whether he wants to work on saving his marriage or move on.
They should first make sure she is in a safe place. For example, if they are at a party, move her to a quieter and more comfortable corner. Then, try to get her something to sober her up, like water or coffee. The husband should be gentle and reassuring, while the buddy can offer practical help like getting things she might need.
He can start by having an open conversation with her. Just tell her how he feels about it. For example, if he's worried, he can say that. He could also suggest some alternative activities that they can do together, like going to a movie or having a dinner date instead of her always going to the bar.
She could communicate openly. Just sit down with both of them and express her concerns. For example, say something like 'I've noticed you two have been spending a lot of time together lately and it makes me a bit uncomfortable.' This clear communication can often clear up any misunderstandings right away.
She can set clear boundaries before she drinks. Let her husband and his friends know that any inappropriate behavior will not be tolerated. Also, she could try to stay in control of her drinking and not get overly drunk.
Communication is key. The husband and wife should have an open conversation about boundaries and respect in their relationship and also when it comes to friends. Also, when there is drinking involved, there should be a plan in place to ensure the safety of everyone, especially the wife if she is drinking.
He should try to stay calm and talk to his wife rationally.