She can directly confront him about his behavior. Let him know that his actions are unacceptable and how they make her feel. For example, say something like 'Your constant put - downs are really hurting me and I won't tolerate it anymore.'
He should communicate openly. Sit down with his wife and express how her actions make him feel. Maybe she doesn't realize the impact of her behavior.
One reason could be the husband's insecurities. If he feels inadequate in some aspect of his life, he might take it out on his wife by humiliating her. For example, if he is not doing well at work and his wife is successful, he may try to belittle her achievements to make himself feel better.
The husband should gather evidence in a non - intrusive way if he really suspects something. This doesn't mean spying on her like a detective, but maybe just noticing patterns. If he has concerns, he could suggest couple's counseling. It can be a safe space for both of them to talk about their feelings and any issues in the relationship. And he should also take care of himself during this time, not let the suspicions consume him completely.
If he still loves his wife and wants to save the marriage, he might consider couple's therapy. A professional can help them communicate better, understand each other's needs, and work through the issues that led to the cheating. Another option is to give each other some space for a while to think about what they really want from the relationship.
Work on building self - confidence. If you're being blackmailed or humiliated, having a strong sense of self can make it easier to not be affected by her actions. Also, try to find positive support from friends or family outside of the relationship.
It's a very difficult situation. First, the wife should focus on her own health. She can seek support from family and friends. If possible, she might consider confronting the husband calmly and expressing her feelings. Then, she could think about whether she wants to try to save the marriage or move on.
First, he needs to stay calm. Then, he can express his concerns and boundaries clearly. He might also suggest seeking professional counseling to work through the issue together and understand why she is doing it.
The husband could start taking on more responsibilities independently. Show her that he is capable. For instance, if she doesn't trust him with cooking, he can cook a great meal on his own and prove his competence. He can also set boundaries. If she tries to infantilize him in public, he can firmly but politely say that he can handle things himself. This way, he asserts his adulthood in the relationship.
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First, he should communicate openly and non - judgmentally. Ask her how she's feeling and what might be wrong. He can also try to create a more romantic and relaxing atmosphere at home, like having a candle - lit dinner or a warm bath together. Another thing is to focus on building emotional intimacy, for example, by sharing his feelings more often.