When a married woman says that she doesn't want to be your lover, it usually means that she's cautious about your relationship and wants to maintain a stable relationship. She may have thought about the future between the two of you, but she thinks it's time to stop this relationship and focus on her family and marriage. She may think that your relationship is unstable or she may not be sure if it will negatively affect your marriage. She may have felt emotional pressure from outside of marriage or she may feel guilty because she's already married but she still wants to maintain a romantic relationship with you. She may have deep feelings for you, but she wants to make sure that your relationship is positive and not harmful. She didn't want to risk destroying her marriage and family, but she loved you, so she chose to tell you her thoughts and hoped that you could understand her position. In short, a married woman who says she doesn't want to be your lover means that she wants the relationship between you to be stable and legal, but she still loves you. This may be because she wants to ensure the future between you or her feelings for you are very deep.