How to make a newbie's novel start better?

The flowers bloomed and withered year after year. It had been nearly 200 years since Zhu Yuanzhang, the first emperor of the Ming Dynasty, raised his army. At this time, it was the 28th year of Jiajing. The people of the Ming Empire were in dire straits. There were Japanese pirates invading the border in Fujian and Zhejiang. There were treacherous officials in power, such as Yan Song and his son, who controlled the government and were corrupt. Everything had to be done with money.
The mansion by the south gate of Buddha Mountain was built in a rather imposing manner. The entrance was paved with bluestone steps, and on both sides stood a ferocious stone lion. On the vermilion gate hung a plaque with five golden words engraved on it,"The Divine Blade Sect's Main Altar".
It was said that the Shendao Sect was built during the Song Dynasty. It had been more than 300 years since the first sect master, Wang Jie, was a member of the Song Dynasty's famous general, Yue Fei. After Yue Fei died in Fengbo Pavilion, Wang Jie was disheartened by the Song Dynasty's government. He resigned and returned to his hometown to study martial arts. He was extremely smart and had amazing talent in martial arts. In less than five years, he created the Shendao Sect. In a few years, he had become a top sect in the martial arts world.
One day, he went out to sea to play and saw that the strong wind could not be stopped. He was enlightened and closed his door after returning. A month later, he actually created two sets of saber techniques, one against the wind and the other against the wind. For a moment, his name shook the world. Not only had Wang Jie reached the peak of martial arts, but he had also always been a patriotic and saviour. Knowing that the Song Dynasty was incompetent and could not resist the Jin Kingdom's cavalry, he called on the martial arts world to form a volunteer army and was elected as the leader of the martial arts world. In the battle of Yangzhou, he led 3,000 heroes and defeated 10,000 elite Jin soldiers. But in the end, they were still outnumbered and had no external help. In the end, they were trapped for thirty-one days without food or water. Wang Jie led the remaining six heroes to charge at the Jin army. Before they died, they held a long knife and killed 27 generals of the Jin army. The Jin people were afraid that the gods had descended and called him General Shendao. After the Yuan Dynasty took over the world, the Godly Blade Sect was still the leading sect in the martial arts world to fight against foreign enemies. The Yuan Dynasty had ruthlessly suppressed it many times, causing the Godly Blade Sect to suffer a great loss and almost be destroyed. It was only during the Yongle period of the Ming Dynasty that a few first-rate talents appeared and showed their brilliance in the martial arts world again.
Baidu. Hi. TTL REEQS8899.com My blog

Answer 1

I recommend the novel I Can Create Magical Items to you. The opening scene was the process of collecting materials, creating magical items, causing trouble, and obtaining titles and pseudo-skills. This book is a fantasy novel, suitable for beginners to practice writing, and at the same time, it can give the reader a magical feeling. I hope you like this fairy's recommendation. Muah ~😗