Alright, do you have any recommendations for me?

We were deskmates in the first year of junior high school. I'm a girl. After doing it with her for a while, I've already decided that she's my best friend. She knew how to play basketball, had good grades, was popular, and was quite good-looking. One afternoon, she kissed me (on the lips) and I realized that I liked her a little (I'm more masculine myself). When we played basketball together, my fondness for her also increased. Sometimes, when I talk to her, I blush. She probably doesn't notice. Every time she asked me to do something, I would ask for a kiss. I'm already a little used to it. Later, because of an incident, I changed my deskmate with her. I told my friend everything (I was unhappy at that time and took the blame). She was very unhappy when she heard this and thought that this was a break in our friendship. I didn't notice it either. After a while, her friend told me that she liked someone. I was a little jealous. After all, I like her, and the person she likes is the "son" I acknowledge. She often goes to my son's place to play. When I go to look for her, she will misunderstand that I want to snatch the person she likes. I had no choice but to break off my relationship with my "son" because of her. Because we often went out to play basketball, one day, she agreed to meet at 7:00 p.m. I arrived at 6:30 and called 8:30. I felt that something was wrong, so I called. The parents said that they would go at 3:00 and come back at 5:00. That's right, I was stood up. I had no money on me, and I only had 2% of my cell phone left. I called my mom, but no one picked up. The place was very far from home (they always picked the location). I had no choice but to walk back. It was already past nine o'clock when I got home. My back was sore. My dad saw that I was so late and locked me outside. I suddenly felt very wronged, but I didn't have the heart to scold her. I endured it. After these few small matters, she didn't chat with me, and I didn't chat with her either. He froze. I accidentally sent her a message one night. I said,"I miss the original you." She replied. Because of this, I was excited for the whole night. I took screenshots of every conversation with her. When I reached school, I handed her a note, mainly asking why she was staying away from her friends. I only remember these few words. She deleted me. Maybe it's all my fault, hehe. We're in a deadlock now. What should I do? (Only part of the content was taken)