webnovel
Lucius_SS
Lucius_SSLv42mth
2024-09-01 02:24

The first chapter needs editing imo. It's confusing and I needed to reread it to figure out what was going on. After the first chapter, it's no longer an issue. Grammar needs work though. I just don't like how no one seemed to question how naruto used adamantium chains to help or how a baby is using chakra to begin with. The dialogue also seems awkward at certain parts as well. Otherwise, the fic has started off well. This is a review after reading 5 chapters, but the story isn't for me. Good luck with the fic!

Naruto: The new beginning

Iamxeno
分數不夠
136 Chs

被1人贊過

贊
回復1
Iamxeno
Iamxeno作者

thank you for reading & the review

2mth
1
Other Reviews
Milf_monarch
Milf_monarchLv4

劇透

3mth

gato_the_cat
gato_the_catLv5

i just want to talk about grammar that really bad

3mth
Iamxeno
Iamxeno作者

Hey, everyone if you like the fanfic, please leave a review & I hope you enjoy this journey with me.

3mth
BerkeKadir_CAYIR
BerkeKadir_CAYIRLv2

This is a very nice fanfic. I hope there will be more chapters during the day. I can't wait. You are really successful with this fanfic.(Perfecto)

3mth
gato_the_cat
gato_the_catLv5

i just want to talk about 1 think can you make story have harem

27d
SuohDaoist
SuohDaoistLv13

more forced Hinata and Naruto relationship. Don't waste your time. When will these dumb fanfic writers learn to stop forcing relartionships, Hinata and Naruto only ended up together cause the "fans" wanted it, despite the relationship itself lacking and making no real sense that kishi even had to retcon flashblacks and do a movie to convince people to believe it 🤦‍♂️

1mth
DerVegA
DerVegALv4

very nice very nice very nice very nice very nice

1mth
Related Stories

Bleach: Starting as a Vasto Lorde

Short version: A guy gets yeeted into the Bleach World as a Vasto Lorde Hollow. Oh, and he also has a system. Long version: In a world where Kazuya felt trapped, he longed for a life of freedom. When he wakes up in the strange land of Hueco Mundo, he's determined to make the most of this new chance. But things won't be easy with the villainous Aizen Sōsuke wanting to control Hueco Mundo for his own dark purposes. With powerful Vasto Lorde-Class abilities and a strong System, Kazuya must find his way through the tough world of Bleach, making friends and fighting enemies to keep his freedom. As challenges rise and danger grows, can Kazuya's strong will and determination help him break free from control and come out on top?

GloriousMilfHunter · 漫画同人
4.7
236 Chs

In Konoha, This Naruto Has Decided To Take It Easy

This time, the soul-transferred Naruto no longer worries about his lineage and ignores those strange looks, binding himself to the 'Take It Easy System'. [Option 1: Pursue Sakura. Reward: S-Rank Ninjutsu.] [Option 2: Pursue Hinata, avoid ten years of detours. Reward: Kyubi’s approval (you can use Kyubi’s Chakra at will)] Is that even a question? Naruto decisively chooses Hinata. Naruto fishes by the river, and Mizuki suddenly appears. Mizuki: "Naruto, do you want to become stronger?" [Option 1: Refuse Mizuki’s invitation and tell him to get lost. Reward: Full level Fishing Mastery.] [Option 2: Accept Mizuki’s invitation and steal the Scroll of Seals. Reward: Impure World Reincarnation (Incomplete)] Naruto: Is there even a choice? Sandaime Hokage: "Where tree leaves dance... one shall find flames... the fire's shadow will illuminate the village... and once again tree leaves shall bud anew." Naruto: "Smooth!" --------------------------------------- Support me at https://www.patreon.com/IamPoorGuyToo There are advanced chapters there

Iampoorguy · 漫画同人
3.3
182 Chs
Login