Review Detail of Red_Ghosty in Tensura : Karna
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Vedora_Tempest作者Vedora_Tempest
Red_GhostyLv11Red_Ghosty
an example of what I was saying is the last paragraph of chapter 1. the whole paragraph was unnecessary. don't explain his emotions, you need to convey them through his actions or speech. I'm not sure if that makes sense but that's basically what I meant when I said it was bland.
Vedora_Tempest:No other things to say? if you can point out some, then I could improve in the future.
Vedora_Tempest作者Vedora_Tempest
Red_Ghosty:an example of what I was saying is the last paragraph of chapter 1. the whole paragraph was unnecessary. don't explain his emotions, you need to convey them through his actions or speech. I'm not sure if that makes sense but that's basically what I meant when I said it was bland.