Leon, our Mc, has been playing Immortal Legacy for awhile but because he couldn’t play a lot due to responsibilities, he was only able to reach lv 20 something and couldn’t financially capitalize off the game. Anywho, when our Mc went to get a spirit beast/pet he met the goddess of sloth and that’s where his in game name Broken became on point. Bc she is the goddess of sloth and she’s chosen Broken to be her champion, his level is set to 0 and he cannot level up. This is not a nerf like I feared. He can gain stats by quests and trial/dungeon completions, and forging. So despite being level 0 dude is op. Grammar is good, writing stability is good. 2 things I would love to see is more time outside the game. Honestly, Leon spends way too much time in the game. I like his interactions between his sister and Freya. Maybe show him making irl friends with the other guild, something to increase character development/personalization. Leon is pretty closed off, so he def needs real friends. The second thing I would love to see more of is romance. I can tell the “h***m” aspect of the game is going to be in game. Honestly, I don’t care for npc/player relationships, esp if there is a real life love interest(ahem Freya🥰), but I guess I’ll see how it goes. For me, if the author ups more of those suggestions, this novel would def go up a star. Action is good, kingdom building is coming along and I love that Broken is actually a broken character 🤣🤣. Looking forward to seeing how this novel develops. Great job, author.
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LIKEWow, thank you so much for such an impressive and detailed review. You really made my day! I'm happy to answer some of your questions: 1. Romance, Harem - as I mentioned, I have a long-term plan for the story, so those elements may not be introduced early in the story, but I can guarantee you they'll be there. 2. Relationships with his new friends - absolutely, there will be lots of interactions outside of the game, especially during major events which take place outside the game.