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TwistedTsunami
TwistedTsunamiLv151yr
2023-10-25 00:38

Leon, our Mc, has been playing Immortal Legacy for awhile but because he couldn’t play a lot due to responsibilities, he was only able to reach lv 20 something and couldn’t financially capitalize off the game. Anywho, when our Mc went to get a spirit beast/pet he met the goddess of sloth and that’s where his in game name Broken became on point. Bc she is the goddess of sloth and she’s chosen Broken to be her champion, his level is set to 0 and he cannot level up. This is not a nerf like I feared. He can gain stats by quests and trial/dungeon completions, and forging. So despite being level 0 dude is op. Grammar is good, writing stability is good. 2 things I would love to see is more time outside the game. Honestly, Leon spends way too much time in the game. I like his interactions between his sister and Freya. Maybe show him making irl friends with the other guild, something to increase character development/personalization. Leon is pretty closed off, so he def needs real friends. The second thing I would love to see more of is romance. I can tell the “h***m” aspect of the game is going to be in game. Honestly, I don’t care for npc/player relationships, esp if there is a real life love interest(ahem Freya🥰), but I guess I’ll see how it goes. For me, if the author ups more of those suggestions, this novel would def go up a star. Action is good, kingdom building is coming along and I love that Broken is actually a broken character 🤣🤣. Looking forward to seeing how this novel develops. Great job, author.

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Replies1
Galanteo
GalanteoLv11

Wow, thank you so much for such an impressive and detailed review. You really made my day! I'm happy to answer some of your questions: 1. Romance, Harem - as I mentioned, I have a long-term plan for the story, so those elements may not be introduced early in the story, but I can guarantee you they'll be there. 2. Relationships with his new friends - absolutely, there will be lots of interactions outside of the game, especially during major events which take place outside the game.

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Captain_Spoiler
Captain_SpoilerLv13

Honest reviews are here.. [Spoiler Alert] This is a story about MC who is struggling in his life and spends most of his time working.. But one day, he gets lucky by meeting the goddess of sloth, one of the seven sin and chosen to become her sole champion.. This is the new start of his life where he begins to spend more time on games instead of working.. The real world and the game world are not merging.. The author had already verified it.. Plus, there is "the company" that controls the games and can watch every player action, interaction, and activities.. They so know about the identity, secret, and classified information of every player.. The story is going to be quite interesting, but I lost interest the moment I saw how the author treated our MC.. First, MC got a bad reputation for stupid reasons.. For example, MC got reset into lv.0, and somehow he "forgot" his don't wear any armours since each armour got level limitation.. So, this naked incident is the author ways to give MC a bad reputation.. Kinda weird thought because there is one of MC's perks for becoming one of seven sin champions, which he could wear any armour or weapon of all classes (max Lv200).. What even worse, MC has been accused as a player killer.. The accuser made an extravagant fault statement in the news during interviews.. The true story is that MC has been ganged up by "multiple real player killer" who want to kill MC.. He just defends himself and kills one of them.. But the remaining player killer accused him and worsened his bad reputation after his naked incident.. But this doesn't end like that.. He almost got killed by the princess of that kingdom due to misunderstanding.. He also logged out at the open area.. When he logged back into the game, he appeared in the same place as that open area.. Unfortunately, that place is the place where princess camp are.. He was accused as pervert since he appeared inside the princess camp and got KILL right away DUE TO misunderstanding.. So, you can see how the author tried to build MC character from this.. There are already many misunderstandings right from the beginnings of the novel.. You can already imagine how much more "incidents" like these will appear later on.. Then, don't forget how slow the progress of MC growth.. It is extremely slow pace.. He has fallen behind other players as he just spent playing one hour per day in the game.. Instead of trying to grow stronger or train to become stronger fast, he trained to become "blacksmith" first.. There is going to be an event or competition between players, especially for goddess champion, where other goddess champions have already become top player as they go chosen much much earlier than MC.. I kinda love the plot of the story, but the slowness of the MC grow, the MC bad reputation, and not using his opportunity wisely is sure making the story annoying and frustrating.. The more I read, the more I feel like *#@?*@#.. So, I stopped reading it..