I have much to work on. I need advice to make my fic better so I can make it more enjoyable for the readers and myself. Let’s start with the biggest problem. MC’s personality. I can understand that MC has a childish personality for a 170 year old demon and that was my mistake. I admit that The grammar is decent in my opinion. Definitely not perfect or amazingly good but you can understand it even with mistake here and there The MC being weak is because of a curse. I did that since I didn’t want to make him so OP right off the bat since the SDS world is a strong one. I wanted to make it more enjoyable than being a typical overpowered right off the bat group chat story Right now there is only 14 chapters so there is a lot that I can change to make it better. I just ask for your patience and advice for my story

Main character is insufferable and moronically stupid. How can you live for 170 years as a demon in their culture and world and not kill things because you were once a human teenager. As well as the fact he only starts to realise danger is around him 170 years later and only when he gets the chat group (which is very awkward and weird to read. Almost like the author has no social skills at all and in inserting himself as the main character) His personality is incredibly annoying along with his mannerisms, i can see why every single demon alive shuns him. Humans would shun such an annoying man-child too before putting him in an asylum for the mentally ill. This has good potential to be an enjoyable story to read ruined by a socially awkward loser main character. Spelling and grammar is decent but the style the author writes in is very blocky and holds the narratives progression.

It's just an annoying read, A 170 year old demon with being the brother of meliodas and is super weak which makes no sense since the demon king is his father and on top of that I guess his mentality also didn't change in almost 2 centuries of living, Like I said, it's just not a fun read.

he is very naive and stupid. There is no logic and seriousness in the novel. You trust too quickly and you think the people of the world are stupid. You think the clan chief's child in the world of Hanabi does not know the education he received there and the darkness of the ninja world is ridiculous. mc does not use his brain.

Love it, hope you do not drop it :D. I like the MC and the bit more unusual choice of chat group members, to be fair, i was a bit surprised, since i see the same three everytime, but not here, at least not yet XD

too many character that make it difficult to interact each other and the result author can only skip his chat with other character, and sometime they become transparent. the beginning is good, but after he get his cheat, its become boring. i think there is no need instantly give him cure for his curse and invite 4 people, because I read those grup chat from akikan, his side character also get transparent.

i predict with all the losers begging for a harem just because its a multiverse fanfic that the author will cave in, so this is my prefire review

I really like to read this kind of story. It always leaves me in a state of constant anticipation. Please don't drop this story. I wanna see how it will develop in the future.

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