I wrote this with the intention to help the author to improve. Before someone starts to read this and says "nah i dont want to read this" please give it a shot it s just my opinion and if you still think it s unreadable please write down politely what you didn t like or you think it badly writen. (I know everyone will hate me for what i said maily the author and you can delete this comment but please please read it I love this story too much) Well this will be probably the first i have ever written and i have alredy read a mot and i mean lot of manga/mahwa/lighnovels and so on.. The reason i decided to write this review is because I a pretty picky reader feel like I have found a unpolished diamond in the rough. I want that diamond to be polished - just my opinion its unpolished(sorry if i sound rude). Writing quality: five stars and i haven t really found any standing out misspells and mistakes. THE ACION IS FIREEEE ok I loved the way the action and everything is written in the story. Stability of updates: I don t really are about it so i gave five stars just because of the story. I found out from some comments the author had some really and i mean really sh**y stuff happening in life and that s why i didn t write this review till the author didn t resume writing. World background: 5 stars i love it the only thing that is amiss is that there is too little information about the world, but what we know is really good(just my opinion cuz i liked the ideas in it) character design 1 star/ story development 4 stars - well this is why is this where i think there s some stuff amiss. Okay so here will be some no.. a lot off SPOILERSSS!!! okay i want to repeat i love the story but my heart bled at one point because i feel like the story is a bit all over the place: Okay lets start with the main character, WE KNOW TOO LITTLE there s so much action in the story that the main character and other people (if there are any) get pushed out of the way i mean SPOILER We KnOw tHaTh ThE MaIn cHaRacTer(giving up writting this way) is not a cold blooded killer at the start and i don t have a problem with him killing and him being not shocked at all(don t remember him being) but than he is saved after and he meets a little family and he is really thankfull and than he accidentally leads soldiers in there and every one in the village needs to become part of a cult of an entity that promised him something important (i have no problem with him accepting it without thinking because he didn t really had a choice) but he didn t even think about it later on that maybe the entity is maybe lying and didn t fear at all the life of innocent people(that he wanted to protect so much). I knpw that later in the novel we have that he tried to not think about stuff like that BUTT THAT S TOO LATE EVERYONE THAT WAS INTERESTED IN STUFF LIKE THAT LONG AGO LEFT and that s is the main reason i feel like this is a diamond in the rough. There s still some fishy stuff going on with the pirate girl that was introduced as a complete psychopath(not the crazy way) than she becomes a complete fool and the main characters intention in the line "another person has fallen for his pretense(or something like this is there)" and what is happening with him is not explained again(is he *puppeted* by the entities???). Lastly please please don t make female characters fools like in mahua as a female it s... underwhelming.. we are no different than you... okay ignore that i just though you dont want this as a harem. Well thats everything for now and i want to repeat that even with all of it s mistakes i love this story i just love it and maybe if some of these are explained atleast in a comment to this review it would become a favorite and i dont know the reason why i love this so much honestly, if i sounded like im telling the author what to do im sorry. I alredy see im really bad at writting reviews and thats it if someone managed othet than the author to read though this with all the missspells Im congratulating you.
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Don't worry lad, feedback is always appreciated. one thing to note; Majority of the blank spaces and questions without answers are intended. I want you guys to think about what actions you would have made and the fact that sometimes you just miss opportunities, a lot more stuff is answered in the discord server and there are people actively trying to fill in the so said blanks either way, thanks for the review and feedback
Thank you. I know my answer to you is a bit late so sorry for that. I repeat myself again if I sound like im telling you what to do i dont meant it that way. I actually didn t read this story since i wrote my last review so if something changed and i don t know just say it and i will remove my review. I still feel like there are too many blank spaces in the story. I have many times already seen people writing hate comments to authors about things that are actually explained. What i want to say that there are people like that and umm.. sorry for this but to me there are too many of them like if st the time he was leaving the village at least there would have been something like "He looked back at the village and kept looking at it with a blank face for a while before he looked away and continued walking." or something like that would be far enough. The main reason i probably haven t questioned things is cuz the story is has been written in first person(dont even think about rewriting, thinking about it hurts). Im writing you here instead of the discord server so others that are thinking about reading this don t ask again the same questions and you don t need to answer as many questions. ... You forgot to answer about the pirate girl(you dont need to) Will the main character get some companions and will this turn into a harem?(I know there weren t any indications) Well that s it do not stop writing the story has great potential and i love the little things like explaining controlled explosion and so on.[img=recommend]
lazylizard:Don't worry lad, feedback is always appreciated. one thing to note; Majority of the blank spaces and questions without answers are intended. I want you guys to think about what actions you would have made and the fact that sometimes you just miss opportunities, a lot more stuff is answered in the discord server and there are people actively trying to fill in the so said blanks either way, thanks for the review and feedback
