webnovel
Wizzez
Wizzez作者3yr
2021-04-30 04:00

MESSAGE FROM THE AUTHOR: Hey everyone, I hope you guy finds my novel enjoyable! This is my first novel, and as I say in the author's notes, there might be some problems that I'll need to iron out. Nonetheless, I'm happy to receive any comments or questions you guys may have! Anyways, I have made a map of the region for the setting of the novel, hopefully, it'll make things easier to follow! I might edit it later down the line, but for the most part, it'll stay the same! If you feel there's anything contradicting between the story and the map, please let me know so I can fix it!

被59人贊過

回復31
WillowWhisper
WillowWhisperLv11

Not to be rude but it seems like the main character is just too perfect id love to see a single character flaw.

Wizzez
Wizzez作者

Not rude at all! Thanks for the feedback. In the most recent arc, the imperfections of the MC were purposefully excluded, and that's done for a particular reason that will be seen in future chapters. I assure you though, his flaws will become very apparent in the upcoming arc. No spoilers though!

WillowWhisper:Not to be rude but it seems like the main character is just too perfect id love to see a single character flaw.
FallenAngeI
FallenAngeILv13

Author can you tell me if MC has 'hero complex', or he is more of a neutral?

Wizzez:Not rude at all! Thanks for the feedback. In the most recent arc, the imperfections of the MC were purposefully excluded, and that's done for a particular reason that will be seen in future chapters. I assure you though, his flaws will become very apparent in the upcoming arc. No spoilers though!
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Wizzez
Wizzez作者

I wouldn't say he has a hero complex at all. He has his own goals and does things to advance those goals. He doesn't care about being a hero, he just wants to fulfill his own ambitions. Of course, he still has emotions, so he's not heartless (So he doesn't kill innocent people for his own goals). He will however kill criminals, so he's not one of those "no killing" protags. I hope that answers your question!

FallenAngeI:Author can you tell me if MC has 'hero complex', or he is more of a neutral?
Wizzez
Wizzez作者

There is romance later on!

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NAHYAN09
NAHYAN09Lv13

Will there be NTR? please be don't bcz many story gets ruined bcz of NTR

Wizzez
Wizzez作者

Ofc not, no NTR! 👍

NAHYAN09:Will there be NTR? please be don't bcz many story gets ruined bcz of NTR
NAHYAN09
NAHYAN09Lv13

Thx

Wizzez:Ofc not, no NTR! 👍
NAHYAN09
NAHYAN09Lv13

Don't want the mc be betrayed.

Wizzez:Ofc not, no NTR! 👍
crimson_king_5044
crimson_king_5044Lv13

what app did you use to create that map?

Crycks
CrycksLv14

what’s ntr?

NAHYAN09:Don't want the mc be betrayed.
Ashborn0
Ashborn0Lv10

nvm that was a stupid question to ask... found that no-harem tag and now I'm in

CrimsonPhoenix
CrimsonPhoenixLv13

bad stuff

Crycks:what’s ntr?
IncrediblyInactive
IncrediblyInactiveLv11

Real life Yuan has been found!!!!!!! Its extra fluff for novels...lets just go with that.

Crycks:what’s ntr?
Zee_k
Zee_kLv3

is there romance in dis novel😕.........and is d mc gay?😍🤭👀

Wizzez
Wizzez作者

There is romance in the novel, but the MC isn’t gay. Sorry if that’s what you’re looking for! 😔

Zee_k:is there romance in dis novel😕.........and is d mc gay?😍🤭👀
Zee_k
Zee_kLv3

awwn😞 how sad...........but its still ok though😊......but d fl shouldn't be d first girl d mc meets because many novels r always like dat😒 when d first girl d mc meets helped him a lot and he eventually falls in love with her bla bla bla😒.....how common and boring🙄😤....it will be interesting if d fl is a different species😊😘 don't disappoint me author ......I will still be supporting u[img=recommend]

Wizzez:There is romance in the novel, but the MC isn’t gay. Sorry if that’s what you’re looking for! 😔
Red_string1
Red_string1Lv2

The land looks like eyes or tes........

Yotol
YotolLv2

i have a question, does it have romance? i dont really like romance alot.

Preyz07
Preyz07Lv10

doesn't really have a harem?!🥺

Other Reviews
BerrySleepy
BerrySleepyLv4

The first few chapters show a problem common to new writers; their characters all sound the same. A kid would naturally use less complex words than an adult. Someone trying to intimidate sounds the same as the one they're intimidating. Another is the use of dialog as exposition. Of course you have to have exposition in the story, but they should be written as if the dialog is being said by an actual person for an actual purpose and not just obviously for exposition. A way to migitate this is to break down large exposition dialog into readable chunks, sprinkling in descriptions of what is happening in the scene. For instance, this chunk of dialog taken word for word from the chapter: "Heh, you're sharp. Sorry about this, jobs a job. You're right though. We're not Econican soldiers. We're a group called 'Checkmate'. We were hired by a group of Orthlys nobles who'd benefit from a war. < I removed some dialog here to shorten the example >" He said as he took a cigarette out and lit it. And compare it to something like this: "Heh, you're sharp.", chuckled the boy, his child-like voice in odds with the situation. "Sorry 'bout this, but jobs a job.", he shrugs dismissively. "But you're right though, we're not Econian soldiers. We ", at this he waves his arm towards his men, all much taller than him, gesturing flamboyantly, "are 'Checkmate'. A bunch of strapping young lads hired by some Orthys nobles to cause some trouble. Heck maybe even start a war or two for their benefit.", the boy drawls, taking out a cigarette from one of his pockets and taking a lazy puff. With this description, the reader can fill in the rest of the scene. How the boy stands, perhaps mockingly, facing the main characters. How his men are just standing behind him. Maybe they are at attention, obedently waiting for orders, maybe they're standing in a loose, unorganized sprawl. Are the men eager for battle, with grins on their faces as if the main characters are the only things separating them from a large payday? As the first few chapters are right now, I will not read any further. However the writing basics, like spelling, grammar, etc, are quite fine. Which is why I'm rating this as above average, not bad for a first time writer.

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