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Archonstine
ArchonstineLv53yr
2021-04-29 14:10

This is Awesome! This is Awesome! This is Awesome! This is Awesome! This is Awesome! This is Awesome! This is Awesome! This is Awesome! This is Awesome!

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Other Reviews
AzagalPlay
AzagalPlayLv13

WQ: 5s (there is actual immersion in the story) SU: 5s (regular) SD:3s (good plotline but in the last chapters were some useless drama and a useless nerf) CD:4s (a consistent mc that doesn't have his priorities straight(not in the funny way, unfortunately....)) WB:3s (fanfic, it's a borrowed world) Now for the things I wanted to address: CD: while you depicted the other characters, mc and their interactions perfectly, the USJ incident is where his morals bugged me quite a bit: he was in a life-threatening situation, his teacher almost got killed more than twice in a short amount of time because the mc didn't want to kill the nomu; now, I'm not one of those edgelords who say "kill everything in your path, no matter the law"; but him not using his quirk on Kurogiri or Shigaraki when he had the nomu in the air is completely dumb when he knew that kurogiri could just escape at any given moment if he just left him alone for a second. Now another thing that bugged me is him not wanting to harm the nomu too much: he knows the nomu is nigh immortal, that he doesn't feel pain, that it is a threat to his life and his teacher and that if he doesn't kill it, is is eventually gonna regenerate and come after them later, but he still chose to let the nomu live and escape; although with his limbs torn off (but that was completely useless). Now as for the nerf part, I know you heard that many times before but really? you had to give him a quirk-limiting brain tumour to make him start to think of more efficient and creative ways to use his quirk? You couldn't have, idk.... make him realise after seeing the nomu so resistant to brute force but less to more subtle things that he should think of more ways to use his quirk more efficiently ? you wouldn't have needed that much useless drama and that would have made your story way better: the mc learns from his errors and isn't obligated in some ways to do so. I'll give you another example: you don't like when you have slave systems forcing their hosts to do tasks to get stronger right? well, the better way to achieve the same thing is by giving a good excuse like "the mc wants to get stronger to be able to not feel powerless", instead of forcing him to do so. People prefer when you give a good reason for a character to do something than when you force them to act the way you want. Anyway, good luck with this book, but I'm not dropping, just hope this tumour thing is worth it.

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