Review Detail of val_the_mysterious in Scar : It's you

The story has an interesting concept. Writing would benefit from an edit and a review of flow. There were several time where the story jump from here to there without a lead in, which made it hard to follow. A few times something would change from one paragraph to the next like the author changed their mind but forgot to go back and change it. Again, interesting story concept, just needs editing and flow check.