webnovel
1627150715404
Apprentice4

Apprentice4

Lv5

Seeking Dao through writing. For any queries, suggestions, or messages: Apprentice#8660 on discord.

2017-08-02 加入Global
-d

寫作

442.4h

閱讀

221

閱讀作品

徽章
18
動態
196
  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice42 years ago
    發表

    The novel undoubtedly has a great premise and the way author writes makes you even more curious about the story. Although there are numerous grammatical mistakes that make it hard to focus on reading, it's getting better in the latter chapters. Kudos Author!

  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice42 years ago
    發表

    I love how the author is slowly fleshing his characters out. There's no rush, no clear-cut boundaries, and no hurried introductions that don't make sense. Although the grammar needs to be tended to, it is still something tht doesn't hamper the reading experience. Good job here

  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice42 years ago
    回復 OnizukaShinu

    You can delete all of these comments of mine then bruv if you've made changes

    該段已被刪除。
  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice42 years ago
    回復 OnizukaShinu

    no worries man, just keep doing what you're doing and keep tryin new things. Grammar and word choice and word order'll get better with time

  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice42 years ago
    回復 OSM_1015

    'the' girl makes it sound like a title, you can rather use sth like 'vilian, a young girl'

  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice42 years ago
    發表

    So, I'll divide this review in pros and cons. Pros: -Author has an interesting concept going for him, especially in terms of MCs power and his hidden identity. it would simultaneously make a great slice of life and action novel -The familiar school setting makes it easier to relate to -It's worth it to pass time, especially when it's hard to predict the happenings Cons -The author's perspective is inconsistent, some lines are written in the past while some in the present, some active and some passive, though nothing that good editing can't fix. -The choice of words could also have been better but again that'll automatically get better with time. What's important here is keep experimenting, keep doing new things with it, try to create something completely original. As for the problems with language, they'll get better with time. All the best!

  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice42 years ago
    發表

    use acquire instead of purchase

    該段已被刪除。
  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice42 years ago
    發表

    but after taking so many hits*

    該段已被刪除。
  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice42 years ago
    發表

    physique instead of physics

    該段已被刪除。