Seeking Dao through writing. For any queries, suggestions, or messages: Apprentice#8660 on discord.
寫作
閱讀
221
閱讀作品
The novel undoubtedly has a great premise and the way author writes makes you even more curious about the story. Although there are numerous grammatical mistakes that make it hard to focus on reading, it's getting better in the latter chapters. Kudos Author!
I love how the author is slowly fleshing his characters out. There's no rush, no clear-cut boundaries, and no hurried introductions that don't make sense. Although the grammar needs to be tended to, it is still something tht doesn't hamper the reading experience. Good job here
You can delete all of these comments of mine then bruv if you've made changes
no worries man, just keep doing what you're doing and keep tryin new things. Grammar and word choice and word order'll get better with time
'the' girl makes it sound like a title, you can rather use sth like 'vilian, a young girl'
So, I'll divide this review in pros and cons. Pros: -Author has an interesting concept going for him, especially in terms of MCs power and his hidden identity. it would simultaneously make a great slice of life and action novel -The familiar school setting makes it easier to relate to -It's worth it to pass time, especially when it's hard to predict the happenings Cons -The author's perspective is inconsistent, some lines are written in the past while some in the present, some active and some passive, though nothing that good editing can't fix. -The choice of words could also have been better but again that'll automatically get better with time. What's important here is keep experimenting, keep doing new things with it, try to create something completely original. As for the problems with language, they'll get better with time. All the best!
too chuuni💀