ErickYeager

Formatting

I love the exposition and vivid descriptions. The author is truly trying to craft and paint a vivid world. Look forward to it!

I like it, a complex and provocative exposition.

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*I’m mentally an old fart so take my review with a grain of salt.* What immediately stood out to me was the clear amount of effort you put into the first chapter. Other one minor grammatical change, that we had addressed, it was stellar. Of the ten chapters I have read, very readable and quick paced. There were some minor errors and of course some tropey tropes but nothing that really bothered me. I do hope that you put as much effort into the thoughts and descriptions of the first chapter back into some of the later chapters. An overall good start to your series. [img=recommend]

*I’m biased towards more traditional literature by WN standards so take my rating with a grain of salt.* Overall fairly well written, never lacking in description would be my main positive. My sense of action and pacing never diminished. With clear thought given to the design of the story. My only complaint so far would be I don’t feel the main character. Feels a bit detached and incorporeal to the story. Some enjoy that and it could be a style choice as it is easy to immerse yourself in a self-insert way. That all being said, a good start to a novel. [img=update]

This is a bit rough.

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Good hook and a visceral feel with most of the senses accounted for.