writing smut is easier.
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Even with tight pacing, you can still create an immersive experience. The issue is that the novel doesn’t feel serious, everything comes off as try-hard comedy.
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If everything remains the same as the original, then what's the point of an OC character? What's the point of fanfiction? one might as well just read the manga or watch the original anime.
no commentry please
This fanfiction is way too rushed. Slow down a bit, let the scene breathe first and allow the reader to immerse themselves a little.
STFU! Christian, not everyone believes in your 'one true God.'
I didn't mean to discourage you. I appreciate that you're offering it for free here, and I respect the effort it takes to translate. I have been using ai for a while, so I can usually tell when a paragraph has been refined or rephrased by ai, though it still has a human touch, but I'm just sensitive to it. That said, I truly didn’t mean to hurt you in the slightest. I just wanted to share my thoughts because I genuinely like the book, which is why I commented in the first place.
ai heavy ai