Kirk_rw_C

he was thirty Should be he was thirsty

Sorry, in last comment I said, Mona. I should have called her properly Ma Lina.

This paragraph is too funny. Poor Mona. The guy came to ask her about the class president!

These few paragraphs are so full of action words, it is hard to keep up. But I'm laughing my head off. Too much. Looking forward to more.

This is a long sentence which is outrageously descriptive. If she was to change boyfriend everyday based on birthday, then even 1 year would not be enough. Some days may be birthday of more than one boy.

Can't stop laughing. This is a very unusual way to start a novel. He didn't confess directly to her, but indirectly talking to someone else. And she has accepted. I want more.

The concept of him shifting between his normal world and the game world, gives a lot more scope for a wide variety of plots and character development. Look forward to what the author creates.

realistic senses Doesn't make sound right for the sentence. I think it should be realistic scenery

see Long Chen Should be See Wong Dong Long Chen just entered the room. He is not taking clothes off his wife.

"them to be recycled" He is talking about amazing cultivation techniques, that the senior with Hao feels are so powerful. But, because no one would be able to read the words in them, the only good use they could have would be to be recycled as paper. Very good and funny way of explain the concept. Words and phrases like these are why I want to keep reading this story.