Billy_Bags

I'll admit, I don't typically read this type of novel, but this pleasantly surprised me. The quality of its writing is excellent. And, there is a perfect balance of dialogue and prose, which you don't see so often.

It could use some copyediting, it's a little rough to track in spots but otherwise it's an incredibly solid story. Definitely going to follow-up with this one.

Somehow, none of the spacing made it into that message, sorry about that.

I did see that! I also saw that you mentioned Demetrious Johnson, and I actually trained at his gym a few years ago. I am much larger than him, so we never trained together, but it was a cool time.In my experience, when writing about grappling, it is always helpful to break down the main aspects of what is happening. Think of how a commentary team does it, specifically Daniel Cormier.Using your Rear Naked Choke example, I would write it like this:A's fingers tightened around B's arm, seeking leverage. However, B twisted his body, using his own strength to break free. With a sudden surge of energy, B launched a counterattack. He wrapped his leg behind A's, destabilizing his stance, and drove his shoulder into A's chest, knocking him off balance. As they hit the ground, the scramble began. The struggle became a test of endurance and willpower, as they strained against each other's relentless resistance. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, B managed to secure a firm hold on the back of A using his legs. His arm snaked around A's neck, tightening the grip in a lock known as a rear naked choke.Essentially, it is the action followed by what that specific action does to the target. And, it doesn't have to be hyper detailed, like you don't need say how after he snakes the hand under it locks on to the elbow if his other arm. The hand not around the neck presses down on the top of his head blah blah blah. Using every little detail of grappling match would make it take too long to maintain attention. For both those who know and those who don't. To me, that is an easier way to write it for the common reader. I hope this helps you get started.

Having trained in MMA and coached various combat sports, I can confidently say that this author truly knows their stuff. Right from the start, I found myself thoroughly enjoying the book. The fight scenes are incredibly well-written, leaving a strong impact. If you love combat that is detailed and accurate, look no further. While there are some minor structural issues that crop up, they become less important as the story progresses and writing improves. One example is the repetitive use of character names at the beginning of each paragraph. However, these issues quickly become less noticeable, making the story easier to follow. The main drawback is that the book introduces many characters/concepts early on, without giving enough context to develop a genuine connection to the world. Don't get it twisted, this book is still amazing and I'm definitely going to be a weekly reader.

Man, I can't say enough good things about how nice of a read this is. It just flows so easily. Love the characters, love the world building, everything. Can't wait to read more.

I'm a sucker for dialogue heavy books, if you are the same, this is your book. it's got wonderful pacing as well as detailed and fleshed out characters. Definitely give it a read.