David_Shandler

Love the story and character design. I've also read a lot of Chinese webnovels. As I read the story, I couldn't help but feel like we used the same method to write. 😏

Start is good, characters are well built. Also vampires are one of my favorites, so I'm loving this book. I recommend giving this book a try.

Ngl, very good story. The only thing that i think the author could improve on is the writing quality, and I look forward to what's gonna happen later. I'd say that from now on spend more time making the language sound better and then go back and fix the chapters that you've already wrote. This has potential to be a really popular novel. 👍

Thanks! I'll definitely work on my intro.

Just a random suggestion, maybe be more descriptive and write "eyes that shone with unwavering loyalty" instead of "eyes that showed loyalty" or even more descriptive like "eyes that sparkled with determination and devotion, reflecting a steadfast commitment to the Demon Lord." In general I'd recommend more adjectives.

Good story telling

Everything is decent, plot is very creative and the world's setting is interesting. Not cliché at all so definitely recommend trying out. 👍

Not cliché at all which is nice.

well not like the "system" that characters have in novels, just the general system of the world.

Very interesting system