CREATORX

Duly noted. Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate it

I see. This was intentional on my part. My idea was clustering the words together gives you the sense of claustrophobia that Jovian was experiencing. Did you get that feeling? If not i will have to space it out. Thank you

I see. Thanks for the valuable feedback. I will keep it in mind going further. Please keep on reading and giving me feedback

What a first chapter. What an opening paragraph. The prose really flowed well, and i'm really picky with prose. Good first chapter

A comma (,) after "In abyss" and before "minutes" would be perfect

Looks good so far. It's a typical reincarnation story but the protagonist has managed to peak my interest until the story really gets going. We have a potentially really good character to follow through the story, I hope the author has some unique ideas to differentiate their story from the billions of stories, but even if they don't I will stick around to see how ervin story goes. Good job author

Thank, please eep on reading and supporting me.

Rating my own story lol. But i think it's pretty good. Great world build and lore Nice prose Nice fight scenes Adventure Political intrigue I personally think this is web novel's own a song of fire and ice, realm of the elderlings, the first law, name of the wind. Don't believe it? Come and see, Come and see!!!

Will do. Thank you for reading mine.

Good first chapter. It looks promising. I like the fact that it starts off the feeling of sympathy for the MC, the first paragraph teases a series of events that led him to his current state. That has pique my curiosity. I like the changes in his emotional state from dread to a smile to bawling his eyes out. Only recommendation is that maybe you expand more on the changes as they felt abrupt, to me at least. There's also a slight typo "rembering" in the paragraph where Amir realises his legs have been completely healed. Other than that it's a pretty decent first chapter, I would definitely want to read the next one. Good job.