NecroFan

I doubt it . It would be like watching a movie

I’m aware of that. Still, a necromancer is a mage. Not a swordsman.

Character and world building is great. Problem lies with the story. Boring! Absolutly nothing happens. The main character Jay has yet to learn a single offensive spell. His skeletons are pitiful. The naming sense is horribly basic. The skeletons themselves are pathetic. The way they’ve been explained I picture small 3 foot tall skeletons with puny blades. A necromancers first step is to have real, adult skeletons that tower above most others. Here that is not the case. EXP is insignificant. Jay never levels up no matter what. He’s like level 15 at chapter 300. It’s rediculous how slow it is. No reason for it at all. Jay also is quite anoying sometimes. Hes focusing on building small bone constructs when hes so weak. Shouldn’t be his priority. He’s bee saying for literally 100 chaps that he wants to learn necrotic bolt. Never happens. He’s weak. Updating stability. I can’t help but feel the authour is lazy with how inconsistent updating speed is. Sometimes it’s ten days before we get a mediocre chapter that adds nothing to the story and only involves maybe a skeleton making some insignificant bone spikes. Nothing happens. Authour should make leveling easier and make Jay less pathetic. 15 levels for 300 chaps is rediculous.

All right, fair enough I suppose. I look forward to it then :)

Being bought? By who and why? Its rediculous. The whole plot point is bad. Better option would be to go the “weak student bullied by students, due to bias from teachers, nothing is done about it.” Route. That way is much more realistic because it outlines Zains weaknesses and the fact that the strong rule. Also Riry is much too emotional. She cried and balled for Zain. Just too much. I’ve read ahead and it’s really solid, but your opening is weak in my opinion.

The character in one Chapter is cold and calculating and emotional and dumb in the next. Some lines he seems like a completely different character. And you’ve made the teachers unrealistically cruel for seemingly no reason. Perhaps writing about whh the teachers would stop this from being true but unless Zain killed their pets I don’t see any reason for a teacher to be like this.

Inconsistent. The main character is allegedly 200 years old yet still acts like a complete child. Afraid of a common school bully and an emotional wreck. You would think being executed would make him less of a coward but the MC is just a big baby. He states how he doesn’t want to cause problems then goes on to cause them anyways. The Authour wants to make him feel smart and scheming but he just feels like an idiot to me. The whole world is against him for some reason. Its so forced I can’t bare to read past it. A teacher wasted her time to upset the Mc which makes no sense. The whole book up to where I read is just “poor me!” And a character named Riny? (Might be wrong) is also too emotional. Who hired someone like her? She has the emotional inteligence of a 7 year old school girl. Lots of potential but early chapters need a re write and Authour needs to make up his mind about wether Zain is brains or brawn.

This is unacceptable behaviour from any teacher. Since you stated earlier the headmaster likes Zain you should keep up some consistently with the plot your building.

Can you use ‘ for thoughts. It’ confusing because you keep switching

Great prologue