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Do you upload the uncensored pictures somewhere? ..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Gary Sue. On chapter 1 he's already a prodigy, wood release user, fruit user, is a medic nin and has the sharingan. Honestly I would not be surprised if the rest if the story is a "fix everything" kinda deal. ............................................................ ............................................................ ............................................................
Chapter 1 and he's already a sage, medic nin, prodigy, wood release user and has the sharingan. Anything else? I'm assuming the story in ending on chapter 5.
I personally did not like this chapter, it felt like a crack fic chapter. Way too much comedy
You cannot keep doing this to me. I WANT MORE CHAPTERS!!!! Where is your patreon?
This battle doesn't make sense. Fire attacks should absolutely affect Crocodile's sand, potentially turning him into glass. While I am enjoying the story, I find most of Luffy's fights repetitive. They follow the same pattern. Using the full or even partial Zoan form should feel like an epic moment, but since it's used in every single fight, the mystique is completely lost. Additionally, the misuse of the Moa Moa fruit is confusing. It seems like there’s a misunderstanding of how multiplication works. If Luffy’s strength, speed, or resistance is already close to or above his opponent's, multiplying that by 40 would significantly amplify his abilities. For example, if he can punch someone through a wall, multiplying that by 40 would allow him to punch him through a mountain. Yet, all we see is his opponent commenting, "Wow, he got stronger," with no real impact on the fight or the surroundings.
I am enjoying the story. I appreciate its slow pace and attention to detail in world-building. However, I do have a concern about the repetitive content. The scenes where the characters steal from gangs felt somewhat repetitive, as they seemed quite similar. That aside, I’m really liking the story. I remember you incorporated an idea about powers from a previous comment, so I have some suggestions inspired by famous vampire lore (excluding the typical Dracula abilities like shapeshifting, hypnotization, etc.). 1. **Memory/Skill Devour**: The ability to consume memories, potentially learning skills from them. 2. **Magical Aptitude**: Vampires generally possess stronger magical abilities than humans. 3. **Blood Bending**: Similar to the concept in *Avatar: The Last Airbender*, the control of blood. 4. **Biological Manipulation**: Typically tied to the vampire's own blood, this power allows them to affect other biological life forms connected to it. 5. **Empathic Powers**: The ability to sense and manipulate others' emotions. 6. **Blood Adaptation**: Some vampires can acquire weaker versions of their victim's powers, with these abilities growing stronger the more blood they consume. 7. **Phasing Ability**: The power to shift density and pass through solid objects, like walls. 8. **Mist Form**: The ability to transform into mist. 9. **Life Sensing**: The ability to sense (or smell) any nearby living creatures. 10. **Soul Devour**: Similarly to Ragman from DC, some Vampire can absorbs the souls of victims they fully drain obtaining their whole essence. Meaning eating 10 people while give you the speed, strength, intelligence and wisdom of 10 men. So the power of a normal human x 10. Combine with memory devour you can have a type of Hive mind situation. 11. **Magical Claws/Teeth**: Their claws and teeth have the ability to magically pierce any type of flesh, whether human or superhuman. Feel free to mix and match any of these ideas!
I am enjoying this story quite a lot, it's one if the few adventure time story with actual plot. The authors is not afraid of going his own way yet still remain somewhat faithful to the story. I do see grammar issues, which I recommend chat gpt for proof reading. Besides that I thank you for your work
I’ll be completely honest, I just finished reading the last ten chapters, and you’ve completely changed my opinion. The plot and world-building have skyrocketed, and the character development and drama have surpassed anything seen before.
Cane is overly 'Gary Stu,' resolving every problem with little to no consequences. The author also struggles with specific grammatical errors, such as repetitive phrasing within the same paragraph. Additionally, they have issues with punctuation, often misusing commas and periods, which leads to sentences that are too long. Besides that it's a solid story.