jayjayche990

* Luger P08

Yes, use patreon, I don’t use paypal

Duplicate chapter

I am really enjoying the story so far. This story has great potential, a really good combination of humor and moments of seriousness, keep up the updates please.

[img=update]True, maybe the attack names would sound better in Japanese

Wouldn't it be much simpler easier to believe if you just have Hashirama pretend that it is his devil fruit ability. You are making up a rather convoluted story.[img=update]

The grammar is rather poor, also the sentences are awkward and don't flow well which makes it a difficult read. I have too at times, pause to piece together what the author is conveying. Poor grammar and lack of brevity bogs down a novel with actual potential.

No offense, but a lot of your sentences are either repetitive or awkwardly worded.

Hmm....How did he get the den den number to the Fleet Admiral?

Indeed, Will hired three bodyguards, all he had to do was have one shadowing him and the other two shadowing uncle Ben. Instead the author has them twiddling their thumbs off to the side somewhere so Will could leap in to guard Ben like some superhero or meat shield. This whole ordeal/plot device is just very poorly fleshed out.