umu

The eyes are going missing jajajaja

Let me say something, I hate zerch, but the guy is inside a barrier made by a alliance fighting 666s core, with the intent of Milenium war againnt him, the leaders take turn (Michael, Uriel, dulio, Azazel, maous ) but he is taking the damage dealer, and remember, he is not old (in terms of devil age), ki? A mass of destruction is going for you, not even sun sucking the sage is strong enough, Hashirama wood? Pffff Serafall, the bald, and Ajuda seal the place, let zerch kill her and GG. And we know if they know the little scary day rias had, ouuuu boy, they will use aldrin to seal Martha and kill her, she is dangerous

Now, regarding the reading, there are eight context and situation descriptions, a lot of words, and when actions are taking place, they aren't described. The chapters could be much longer this way, and it would give it consistency. You also don't describe the trees like Tolkien (he exaggerates). There are too many spaces, too much text without punctuation is bad, but too much spacing is also a problem. Anyway, this is just my comment; the fanfic belongs to the author. I just want to help improve it. I recommend Nascent Kaleidoscope. The interactions and comedy are somewhat similar, and you can use his writing style between conversations as a guide. In any case, keep writing and improving. Blessings.

I came from a Riser fanfic with the worst consistency ever, excessive AI, lack of proofreading, unconvincing (or terrible) interactions, and then this fanfic healed the wound a little and eased the feeling of wasted time, which is appreciated.

Help maxis x zeref, and if u can help august to meet his mother at least once.

Who is the guy with the biggest balls that fk Hela? Give him a statue

I never liked the exaggerated language of AI, Serafall can freeze a country and that's Maou level, Kokabiel and a casual Light Spear is the size of a small building, that's ultimate level, calling the MC's strength apocalyptic and monstrous is absurd, only Galvan is broken, and obviously we all know why. Pd: Homungusaurio wins

indeed, I think the same. i also think destruction is not the great power, without zerch obvious, i like more, worthless (Allows the user to invalidate other special abilities, dieHauser can invalidate Phenix immortal body) hole (teleport others spells to your face, Longinus is broken that's why saiarorg won), time (it's time, time/space brother, if you use destrucción I use time, *when* are u gonna put destrucción, you should need to be out of time to win against time) but it's DXD XD oppai for the wins so nevermind. then the question is, why venelana married zeoticus? wasn't there a better options? also, Odin say in DXD big g made angels with divinity (or something like) then if Lucifer copy big g demons have part of divinity or not? that cuasi-divinity are the especial magic each of the 72 origin demons have? if Lucy can make that, why Miguel can't do the same with a faking heavenly system? no admin password? XD

So, gremorys are strong cus sitris alliance and bael and some Victory's uno low clans. And now obvious, sisconzherch