Pewpewlasergun

Lol, actually, I'm pretty sure I wrote an explanation for that at some point, even pre-cultivation. Something about technology and life-extension 800 years into the future... can't quite remember

It's a deep, complex, and convoluted tale, in a good way =). The characters feel alive and unique, while the story itself is filled with all the intrigue and twists you would expect from a story in this genre. An excellent addition to any lover of eastern court politics.

Overall, it's pretty good. Writing quality wise, there are a few mechanics issues, mostly about proper punctuation around quotations. In most circumstances, when someone is speaking, you use a comma before a quotation, not a period. That's not a hard rule, but it's the most common way to structure a sentence that involves a quote. The whole (Inner Thought) thing is also a big glaring as well, it might be a better idea to use something like italics for inner thoughts or something, not sure. Frequent updates are always appreciated, especially early on. =) The story is a bit difficult to follow at first, probably because we're getting bombarded with a lot of details, but if you like that kind of thing, as long as you're patiently reading and not just skimming or looking for a brain-rot read, it's probably fine. Only suggestion might be to cut back on the descriptions a little bit and allow the reader to use their own imagination a bit more. The MC is memorable and stands out, like he has a real personality and real reactions to his circumstances, which is a positive, but all the other characters kinda feel like they're just thrown in there without any real relevance. It's still early on, though, so maybe more development will take place later to help flesh out who is important and who isn't. Overall, it's a bit of a heavy read, but it's got some solid fundamentals so if you like this genre, it's probably not a bad addition to your collection.

Oh, the intrigue!

Heyo, here we go. The earlier chapters have some serious writing quality issues, specifically with quotations and paragraph structure. It's enough that it is noticeable and highly distracting which is a problem because most people seem to decide whether to keep reading a story within the first chapter or two, so it's better for those to be as flawless as possible. Nothing you can do if they don't like the story, but you should try to avoid losing potential readers just because its hard to read your work. The writing style is also a bit of a turn-off. The sentences tend to be short, one thought ideas or statements, which is fine if you're trying to emphasize a single point, but reading them over and over again, especially if they all start the same way, feels a bit childish in terms of writing level. For example, there are some 5 or 6 sentence paragraphs in the earlier chapters that read something like: The cat didn't like fish. The cat preferred milk. The cat crossed the road to get milk. The road was short. The cat made it to the other side. It's not THAT bad, obviously, but it does come off that way at times, which is quite awkward to read. For stability of updates, if it's not releasing daily but still almost every day, then I have to give it a 4. Not sure what else to suggest for that. If the chapter isn't finished, it isn't finished *shrug*. The story itself is pretty good, especially when it puts subtle twists on novel familiar concepts. Makes it feel familiar, while not being generic. Same goes for the world background. It's a good mix of cliche and innovation. The characters are... honestly its a bit hard to feel attached to them. Unlike with the story elements, the characters are a bit bland, at least in my opinion. It's kinda like they just exist but don't have distinctive personalities or backstories. Maybe that's just me not reading carefully enough, but it feels like they could use a bit more detail to make them come alive. Overall, it feels a bit rushed, like the author was trying really hard to get to the later part of the story and kinda skipped over really thinking out the introduction, which would be fine if the introduction wasn't so drawn out, confusing, and poorly edited. Personal opinion? Focusing on fixing up the writing mechanics of the first few chapters would probably go a long way to boosting reader retention.

Hey, tried joining your discord server through the link on the main page but the link was busted. Is it still up?

A great story held back a little bit by a few annoying quirks and some minor errors. First and foremost, writing quality. The first few chapters have too many grammar and writing errors to overlook, which is really a shame because the author seems to have mostly fixed this problem in later chapters. My advice, go back and carefully edit the opening chapters, because those are the ones people are going to judge the book by. If they can't get past the first 2 or 3 chapters because sentences are missing words and they've having trouble reading it, then it doesn't matter how good the later story is. Other than that, the writing can feel a bit simplistic at times, like the author is saying: 1 happened, then 2 happened, then 3 happened, and so 4 happened as a result. Once in a while that's not bad if you want to quickly move the plot along, but too much of it feels like you're trying to draw an exact roadmap for the reader instead of letting them discover things on their own. It's a delicate balance, but an important one if you don't want the readers to feel like you're simply lecturing them. The releases feel a bit slow, but that might have more to do with the really long length of each chapters. The story itself doesn't feel like it's dragging, but perhaps breaking some of the chapters up into 2 parts would make it flow a bit better. That also comes with the benefit of being able to release chapters more frequently cause they're shorter, thus keeping your story top of mind for your fans and also appearing more frequently in things like searches for new novels. The story I believe is the highlight of the novel. It's a bit generic, pulling from a bunch of familiar tropes, but for a story like this, I think that's actually a good thing. People like twists here and there, and to be surprised once in a while, but anything too far beyond what they considered 'expected' tends to turn people off. I don't think this story is very original, but I think it's doing a very good job of re-telling a familiar narrative, which is kinda what you want to attract a wide readership base. If the story was the highlight, then the characters are the biggest drawback. Honestly, I'm have a bit of trouble distinguishing one person from another because they're all a bit one-dimensional, having similar thought and speech patterns, as well as mentalities and goals. A little more personality development, as well as maybe some unique quirks would help readers feel more attached to the individual characters, thus getting them more invested in them. You want to cheer for a Main Character or potential Romantic Interest, not just say "Oh, right, they exist." The world background is clearly quite vast, and the author obviously has grand plans for it, but because it skips around a bit too much, it's difficult to tell how important different places are or what the power-scaling should be. I can 'feel' how broad the world is, and I can generally tell who is strong and who isn't, but I can't tell 'how' broad or 'how' strong just yet. The problem might be that there's too big a gap between the truly powerful characters, and the noobs in the starter village, the disparity between them making it impossible to get a good grasp of who is capable of what. That said, world building can't be done in just a few chapters, so perhaps that will be ironed out later in the story. If the author is really concerned about keeping things straight, they should spend a bit more time focusing on a couple key details of the world and the power-system itself, like can a novice punch kill a beast in a single punch, or does it take a team of them working together to take one down. I don't think there's a need for precise numerical values, but some more context would help straighten things out. Overall, I think this story has a lot of potential, but it could use a bit of polish first to make sure people don't just glance at it, decides its no good, then never come back. That would be a shame.

Jumping right in, the writing quality is excellent, whether it's from a mechanics, grammar, spelling, or structural perspective, it's all great. That said, the author somehow manages to write a lot of words but not say all that much, which is a bit frustrating. I'm personally a fan of long, detailed descriptions of events, but there is such a thing as TOO much detail, which then detracts from the story. Only been a few chapters, so updates are good thus far. The chapters themselves vary quite a bit in length but mostly lean on the longer side. It might be a good idea to split some of them up a bit both to make writing easier and to make the reading feel a little less cumbersome. The story itself is developing quite slowly, and is a bit confusing at times, possibly because of the problem above (too much detail). That said, the System feels a bit forced somehow and seems to be providing all the answers and explanations for the MC, which kindof results in him not thinking for himself at all which is a bit of a turnoff. The Mc has a dynamic personality, and clear motivations, but he somehow comes off as... flat? Not quite sure how to describe it. It's like he's angry and upset but still somehow emotionless? He's not unlikable, or unrelatable, just... I don't know, missing something I can't quite put my finger on. The world itself is interesting, with the whole tattoo system being a nice twist on the old 'innate talent' trope. I'll be interesting to see how the author sets it apart from other stories using this unique mechanic, like possibly allowing alterations to the design to change how abilities work and so on and so forth. Overall, its a bit dense, so not for the casual reader, but if you're interested in the dark anti-hero out for revenge against the world genre, it's not a bad addition to your collection.

Writing quality and mechanics are excellent. A few spelling or grammar errors here and there, but nothing that causes a reader to stop and wonder what the author is trying to say. Can't give a good mark for update stability as there aren't any updates really, which is sad cause the rest of the work is good. The story is well executed, if not a bit cliche. That said, there are some small unexpected twists that keep things interesting. I am of two minds about the characters themselves... which is really the only thing I'm conflicted about in this story. I get that there aren't many chapters, but everyone still feels a bit one-dimensional. There are also a bunch of side-characters that feel like the author threw them in just to chew them up and spit them out, forgetting they even exist. That said, although the characters feel generic, they DO feel lifelike and are certainly amusing. The daughter is bratty, the Male Lead teeters between good and bad father, and the MC is a tired corporate worker just trying to get ahead. Who they are stands out, even if who they are is a bit boring. I suppose what matters is how they develop from here, but for that, I'd need more chapters to evaluate =P There's some good mystery elements in the world background, and just enough detail to keep the reader interested without being overwhelmed, so I'm giving that full marks. Overall, it's not quite a casual read, but you don't need to fully engage either to get the gist of the story. A good option if you're looking for something a bit meatier to sink your teeth into from this particular FL genre, but not something so tough that you have to sit there with a flow-chart to remember what's going on.

Errr... it's more like the supporting characters will have their own individual stories as well, enough to really flesh out their personalities and abilities. AKA: Not every chapter will revolve around the MC. Does that make sense?