CreepingDarkness

I sincerely hope that mc cuts all ties to this so-called "family" of his. They seemed to have been quite absentee before, if I recall correctly, and they haven't particularly endeared themselves with how they have behaved in this situation. Dude just came home after two years of fighting in a war and they treat him like some traitor or criminal? These people are no family. No family worth keeping, at least. Don't give the mc Naruto-syndrom, where he desperately tries to prove himself to people who treat him like some piece of dirt stuck to the bottom of their shoes.

What about the Watchers? These guys have tried to enter the reality of Runeterra by tempting those that live there with power just so they could find their way in and annihilate everything. With that in mind, what if that artifact is one of those lures, an object of power that the Black Rose have gotten their dirty little paws on and used on our dear MC. This route would open a path to integrating the Void in the story, and as the Void is not all too deeply explored, the possibilities for what shape his new powers could take would be nigh endless. The MC could also get an arc where he has to struggle not to lose himself to the power and then, through the help of Kai'Sa (I really like her, don't judge), manages to find a way to overcome his predicament and grasps the power for himself. Also this would allow for antagonists like Bel'Veth or Vel'Koz, or other encounters like Rek'Sai or Kha'Zix. Not to forget a possible war where our MC would be forced to actually fight against a Watcher. But that would have to come much, much later as the MC would have to be close to Soraka and Aurelion Sol in power to actually stand a chance against them.

You may want to keep your perspective consistent. Jumping between third person and first person at the drop of a hat may irritate or confuse people.

Short version: The idea is good, but the way it's done needs to be way more balanced and refined. Only read this if you have the patience of a saint, and even then there is a chance that you will struggle and be tempted to just drop it because you want to start walking instead of having to crawl along all the time. Long version: This fanfic is not for everyone, and it would've probably been better if the author had given a prior warning to those readers with the attention span of a mayfly that this story is gonna be paced slower than a snail trying to carry my dead grandma's casket. I'm still reading it, and while it may try my patience at times, I do like the premise of a character that doesn't have the privilege of being well-equipped or even overpowered right from the start and is rushing from plot point to plot point like a shopping addict rushes from shop to shop on a Black Friday. This is basically a story about a guy who draws the short stick with his reincarnation having one of the lowest possible starting points in Naruto, who then has to go the long, thorny path and work his ass off to get to, at the very least, an acceptable level, and later, hopefully, manages to becomes someone great. And this is where this story gets a big minus. While, yes, writing the story from the view of a weak character that has to suffer and work hard for every single thing, and getting to watch them grow both in strength and character can be quite intriguing, there is a limit to how long one can stretch that part. With such a method of building tension and anticipation, it has to culminate into a point of emotional relief for the reader; this one situation where the character we've been following alongside the whole time finally reaches their breakthrough and is rewarded for their suffering and dedication. And with how the author has been doing it up until now, they better reach that breakthrough soon and make it grand enough for us readers to feel just as rewarded as the character if not more. Also, even though the whole point here seems to be that nothing ever goes right for the character, just how in real life there can be periods of bad fortune where life throws so many stones in your path that you could build an entire city with them, in this story it almost feels like things go wrong just cause. Maybe dial that down a bit. The way it is now, there is absolutely no balance in this story. As for the other stuff, grammar is good, no glaring mistakes that would drastically hinder the reading experience as of yet. Updating stability is decent, sometimes there won't be anything for a couple of days, often followed by a release of multiple chapters at once - can't complain really since there's this thing called life that tends to be packed with responsibilities and unpredictable occurrences. I just hope that you'll let us eat that juicy steak you've been dangling in front of us really soon, dear author.

I really enjoy this story, especially Shizuya's sarcasm, his comments and how he interacts with Kakashi. Kakashi himself appears to differ from the original to some extend. And if I'm to go by the hints drizzled about here and there, there seems to be some underlying background between the two which will probably revealed as the story progresses. Can't wait to see where this will go! Regarding the technicalities, there were maybe a handful of minor grammatical issues here and there, but it was nothing major and mostly unnoticeable unless you're specifically looking for it. The story has a nice flow to it, if a bit on the slower side in terms of progress. Things could move along a tad bit faster, though that's probably a personal preference of mine. All in all, well done baby cousin of mine. I'm proud of you.😘 (A totally not biased review btw 🤫)

Thank you, and forgive me, I tend to get a little too overprotective sometimes 🙏😔

It's not about being right or wrong, everybody has the right to have their own opinion - it's about how you make your opinion known that I have a problem with, and so I told you and the other guy. I apologize if I have come across as harsh or even mean, but one of those authors is my little cousin, and she was very sad and hurt by what you did. It had taken her a lot of courage to post her fic here, and then having to see you badmouthing her fic without even reading it, made her doubt herself really badly. Thus I merely wanted you to understand that maybe a less hurtful approach would've been better.

Please show me the evidence where this site explicitly declares itself as "straight only". If you have not noticed, there is an entire section dedicated towards the LGBT+ community.

It says only that I will not touch any stories that contain Harem and Ecchi because I do not like them. As a woman, I find those types of stories degrading. And unlike you, I don't go around spreading my dislike for those genre underneath every fiction I can find on this site. As soon as I see those hashtags, I will leave and look for something else to read. Simple as that. Also, there was never a mention of me having something against heterosexual relationships. I myself am currently in a wonderful "straight" relationship as you put it, have been for three years. But it seems like reading comprehension is not part of your skill set, so I can forgive such baseless assumptions. You know, it's really easy - if you don't like something, don't read it. Nobody forces you to. And just because you don't like a certain genre doesn't mean that it is not allowed to be written about or read. These authors, like any other, put a lot work and thoughts into their fanfictions and want to share them with like-minded people. Reviews are there to either show support for the author or give constructive criticism so that they can get better at what they do. What you do has nothing to do with either of those, it's nothing but pure toxic behavior. You have something against heterosexual relationships so automatically make a personal vendetta against everything and everybody that are associated with it? Is it fun for you to hurt people, who have never done you any harm, for no reason other than because you can? If so, I wonder kind of sad existence you must lead to have ended up like this.

Whelp, R.I.P. world, another cancer has been discovered.