UNCONDITIONAL

The wind blows strongly at my body, making it difficult to hold my balance. But despite that, I feel like every inch of my body is being caressed by a cooling hand. The harsh winds only bring me more comfort. It feels nice.

With each flow, the wind comes with the scent of water. Somehow, that scent stays on the tip of my tongue. It reminds me of the same smell you feel before a rain. I have always been really fond of that. When I smelled it at my old house in the past, I would jump up and down. "Rain! Rain is coming!" were two sentences I said the most back then.

That childhood of me is now long gone. But looking back from this point in time, I was such a pure child. I was so carefree.

I was so dumb.

While holding firmly on to the metal wires and looking down, I could see the endless waves of the river, coiling and collapsing on each other. Here and there, the signs of small whirlpools of water could be seen. I wonder how fishes could live inside something like that. Or maybe they don't? I have heard about fishes dropping from the sky like rain. Is the story true?

This location is where I have been to many times. But this is the first time I have stood this close to the edge. It honestly brings a different, much broader view onto this lake, to this world. Even I could taste the flavor of the sky and the earth drifting through the winds.

Mother nature sure has her beauty.

I don't know how long had I been standing there to admire the charms of the Earth, But people started looking at me weirdly.

Some are using their smartphones, pointing cameras at me, probably thinking of suicide. Some are on the phone, calling someone with a troubled face. And some are trying to approach me.

"Hey, kid! What's your name?"

The woman asked calmly. She seems like a nice person. This is probably not the first time she has seen something like this. Before coming close to the edge of the bridge, she talked to her daughter. Probably to tell the young lady to stay in put. The daughter, although very curious, went back into the car obediently. Her face clearly expressed curiosity. Such a good girl! Curiosity drives this world! She will be a great adult in the future, a fine woman who will uphold her value.

"Please call me Shi." I reply to her in a formal manner.

"How are you feeling?" She comes a little closer after hearing my answer.

This person has experience. That much I can tell. She does not start by telling me to go inside or forcing herself on me. She begins by asking how I am doing.

"I feel calm. Very calm. And you?"

"Me too. I'm also calm. Can I sit with you over there?"

She asked for permission as if the place was mine.

"Please, come sit! By all means! This is a great place for sightseeing!"

I extended an arm to the woman while holding on to the wires with another one.

"Thanks!"

Although shaking, she firmly grips my arm. I immediately move away from a little for her to sit right next to me.

We are sitting on the edge of a bridge. Thanks to that, the complete image of the surroundings is right in front of our eyes. This place has both a view of the sky and the river at the same time. Most of the time, the color of the sky is a powerful blue and the river a powerful green. Additionally, the white clouds are almost always visible, bringing more of a delicate touch to the whole picture. The location is famous for the scenery and the number of suicides each year. People from around the country would come here to take a look at mother nature or to give their life back to her.

The bridge is constructed of concrete and steel, with the exception of metal wires on the edge of both sides. Because of the excessive number of suicides, self-help numbers and motivational quotes are written virtually everywhere.

'The world needs you.'

'You matter.'

'I love you.'

'I love Emelia!'

Those quotes. And occasionally dick jokes.

"Enjoying the view?" The woman asked.

"Yes, yes I do. I love it."

"That's great! How long have you been sitting here?"

"For a while. I'm not really sure, though."

"Can I ask for your age?"

"I'm 19 today, actually."

"Oh really? Congratulations! How are you spending your birthday?"

"Thanks. By enjoying the view, obviously."

I laugh. The lady laughs.

"But don't you think this position is dangerous? One misstep and people would say you died by suicide!"

"I know." I smile at her.

"Why don't we take this sightseeing tour to another, less risky place?"

"Thanks but no thanks."

At this point, more and more people are gathering, and even the police have arrived. The nice woman still sits with me. The wind blows into her hair, making a mess out of it.

"I am about to leave, anyway. It's not my first time here, you know. I'm really just sightseeing. You do not have to concern too much about me."

"It's good then!"

"Here, let me help you get back in!"

"No. I will stay here until you are on the bridge."

"But I'm afraid you would fall if I went back first."

I glance down and the roaring water surface.

*Gulp* The kind lady swallows and starts making her way back to the bridge. The whole time, she has not once let go of my arm.

She really is kind.

"It's your turn!" She claims once her footing has been stabilized.

"Yes, thank you."

I quickly climb back in. The kind lady gives me a hug.

"Don't scare people like that."

"What are you saying? All I did was enjoy the view."

"Kid, you are still too young."

"Well yeah, thanks? I guess?"

"Here, take this card." She hands me a name card.

'Jen-suicidal hotline volunteer'

That's why she was so good at this. She probably has a guideline for these types of situations.

"Hey, kid. We know things are rough. But the adults are here for you, okay?"

A police officer approaches me.

"Thank you, sir."

"Now, you did cause a commotion, but judging your mannerisms and cooperation, we are not going to do anything too drastic, okay?"

"Yes, sir."

"Can we call anyone? Your Doctor? Your family?"

"I have none of that, sir. Well, not anymore."

"Oh. Sorry to hear about that. Can we offer you anything? A drive home? Hot chocolate? A donut?"

"Yeah, a drive home would be nice!"