Hmm, to speak truly, your grammar is a bit off at the very least.
As my fellow friend, Author @"ToufiqUlAlam" advised me, I'll advise you.
We, as fellow Authors, should help each other, right?
Try to use Grammarly. It's an app that will correct your writing style and fix your mistakes.
Like, if you write 'Gramar', it will correct it into 'Grammar' and stuff like that.
But, to review your story, it's interesting. Even when the Grammar is, well, 'off', the story somehow captured me to the very end.
If you edit your chaps and a little reconstruct your writing style, it has the potential to be a good novel.
Also, I'm recommending that when you write a sentence like for example: "Jenet I'm pregnant".How? You never allowed any man near you except your Rapist!!! etc. try to divide it like this:
"Jenet, I'm pregnant" spoke Diana as she hugged her friend, tears streaming down her cheeks.
Hearing what her bestie said, Jenet's eyes widened in shock.
"How is that possible?" Jenet asked, caressing Diana's hair slightly and carefully so as to not hurt her still injured head.
"You never allowed any man to go near you except- oh" she suddenly stopped speaking when the divine truth hit her.
*Sniff *Sob "What Jenet! Speak to me! What do you mean by 'oh'?" Diana demanded the answer from her best friend.
"Of course! Diana, that child's father is your Rapist!" Jenet revealed the truth as Diana, whose tears wet Jenet's greenish T-shirt, pulled away from her bestie's embrace.
Her face had signs of shock, disgust, sadness, and disappointment in herself.
Recalling the events that happened the night she lost her purity, her soul and heart ached in pain.
Her emotions went turbulent thanks to her mood swings brought by the pregnancy and her mind turned blank like a page of snow-white paper.
Her entire being, still weakened after the drugs she is constantly taking, was absorbing this information too fast, causing her to faint.
Falling helplessly on her bed, her mind went into the realm of unconsciousness where she again encountered her Rxpist!
But this time, she's not going to let him win, even if it means, losing her own life in the process.
He may own her body but he will never own her SOUL! ... etc.
Heh, sorry, I let my imagination run wide there but the point is, if you divide the sentences, it would:
1. Look better!
2. More readers will understand your story better!
3. Everyone will be happy to see a new chapter from you!
4. You gain more views!!!
Plus 5. If you use Grammarly, your story will gain an entirely new perspective for the readers and they'll enjoy it even more!
More happy readers = More views <3
But, back to the Grammarly.
To tell the truth, I'm using it too as you may already know it. For now, I'm using the free plan but later, I'll definitely upgrade on the subscription! It's worth it!!!
Anyways, good, somehow impressive story. I added it to my Library already and I'm waiting for the new chap Author!
This means you should keep up with your work and be happy to be an Author on a platform like Webnovel!
See ya at the next one :D
(Ps: Sorry that this took me so long but I have another three novels to make a review so that's why... Haah, all-time buried in books, that's my Destiny I guess :D ... )
