This review was written for a review swap, so if that could affect your opinion, please consider it. For whatever reason, it lists my reading status as C0, but I've read as far as C6. With that out of the way, let's begin.
I'm not going to ask something so inane as "why do we describe things?" but there's some value in wondering that now, after reading the Blood Summoner, hereafter abbreviated as TBS. It's a novel that's rich with description, to the point where it's sometimes bewildering. It reminds me in many ways of my earliest works; heavy, rigid, like plate armor.
If TBS embraced its armor-like qualities, pondered on its ideas as knight moves slowly in their plate, then I think we might have something interesting. I'll address a few points, step by step, to walk a reader through what I observed in the earliest chapters. I'll also include an example for the author, experience is valuable after all.
TBS opens in the mouth of an arena, in the tunnel connecting its blood-stained floor to the battle thrall holding cells below. Our then nameless hero steps out onto a battlefield already bloodied by victims, and faces an old man apparently weakened. They fight, briefly, and the main character reveals his name: Flo. The old man gives Flo a boon, and then presumably dies with the end of the scene.
Except, he doesn't die, exactly. From that point on, things become somewhat confusing. TBS relies on the reader checking its auxiliary chapters for information on its different races; no context for this exists in its initial chapters, and while descriptions of that first (and only) arena battle are vivid, character descriptions are light. Flo is described as human, but also remarked on as some sort of hybrid. He defeats a grown ***** in the arena, but it's mentioned only later that he's just 12 years old. It strikes me that there would be a startling difference in height and physical strength, and that such a thing should be mentioned--used, to great effect--to enhance every scene he's in.
Flo must be considerably smaller, weaker, than the people around him.
TBS uses very typical tropes, like safety ropes, to help guide the reader to what will happen next. Our main character is a slave, but we know that won't last. How does he escape this? By meeting a divine being of some kind. He's hungry, but we know he'll find food, and so a stranger appears at his cell door. He's in danger, but no need to worry, because he's safe behind a ring of guards. I wish there was more of a struggle, but that's okay, I won't dwell on it.
What I want to focus on is how the author uses description, something they clearly have a talent and passion for. There are miss-steps, like not mentioning that the main character was 12 until after pivotal battle, but I will set that aside because it's time for an example. Chapter 2, after brief dialogue, opens with:
"Two armored guards, with steam gushing out of their metal armor and a crystal fixed on the center of the chest plate glowing a radiance of yellow, took away Flo to his cell in the dim tunnel."
Authors must describe only what's absolutely necessary, but also expound on what draws the eye and develops the world. The armor that these guards wear is very interesting, but is it necessary to mention that there are two specifically? They don't talk between each other and aren't drawn into a fight. Later one makes an interaction, and then they both disappear.
While it might not be important to know that there are two, it's certainly important to learn about that strange armor, because that gives us insight into the dynamics of the world. Is it full or partial plate, is it mechanized in in any way? Is it expensive, is it common, or is it not the standard uniform? Where does the steam come from? What connections exist between the crystal and the armor, and what mechanism powers it? Why power it at all?
Not all of these questions have to be answered immediately, but good description is valuable in those early moments, and while it's present near everywhere else, I found it notably lacking in that opener. I'll take a stab now at my own rendition, for example's sake.
"Guards approached in heavy, brass-colored armor. Steam flowed from the pipes along their pauldrons, and their chests glowed with the faint light of a crystal embedded in the plate. They held spears in their hands, and their faces were hidden behind full helms crested in bright red plumes. They grabbed Flo by the arm and yanked him cruelly, returned him to his dim cell."
Instead of two guards, we then have an abstract number that the reader doesn't need to remember. What the reader will remember are the red plumes, which demonstrate wealth and extravagance, like ancient rome. This is one example of how you can use symbolism to enhance any paragraph, and how you can use a bright color to immediately call attention to an emanate detail: Flo is weak, he is surrounded by the wealthy and the powerful.
In summary, I appreciate this author's passion to their vision. They have a clear idea of what they want to convey to the reader. I think they should take care to convey only what they must, and draw real attention to what's important, even if the reader isn't consciously aware. They should keep in mind that description is not merely in literal details, but stepped in rationale.
How does a guard earn his pay? Where does he sleep at night? Is training required, or do they learn on the job? If they need to train, is there an academy? etc, etc. Everything, everywhere, should have a reason for being. That's how complex worlds, with the most intricate and lovely stories, are born.
Absolutely keep at it.
