'We heard you scream. Are you alright?'

We stared at each other for what seemed like forever. Gauging, waiting who would make the first move, feeling the growing tension between us. I didn't know what came to me when I said that, but there's no way I'll take it back.

Not now when all I've done all these past few days aside from tallying those damn ledgers are to fantasize about him... the taste of his lips, running my hand across his bare chest, feeling his rough hands against my skin—knowing even his tiniest scar. I've thought about this damn moment. Heavens, I even had that dream about this very moment with him! I'm sure wherever tonight led, would definitely be something I need to etch in mind.

His hand went down from my hips. "Tomorrow we'd be husband and wife," I sucked in his scent when I gasped after he squeezed my buttocks.

I let out a frustrated groan. Husband and wife. That's what we would be come afternoon tomorrow.

Husband and wife... My mind repeated as if trying to remind me of something.

Husband and... wife. What was I supposed to—

"Wait!" My eyes widened, as did Leon's, when I suddenly straightened my arms and covered his mouth with my hands. When I looked down out of embarrassment, I noticed a pronounced bulge past his hips.

Damn it! I mentally cursed. Isa! If I could only separate my thoughts from my body, I would've slapped myself at least a dozen times already by now. What should I do? When I lifted my head, I flashed an apologetic smile. Leon looked confused with his patience running thin. Even when I created some distance between us, he still hasn't let me go.

Should I just retract my hand?

Retract my hand and then what? Tell him I remembered something that's unrelated to what we're about to partake in this very moment?

"What?" he growled, taking my hand off his mouth and planting tiny kisses on the base of it, all the way up to my inner arm. His other arm hooked me again and I swallowed my own saliva when I felt his... thing poke me.

He's taller, I'm a few inches shorter so when he pulled me, I had to shift my body, arch my back more and move closer to him so that our eyes could met.

"Communication is key, right? I want to know what's bothering my future wife." The word 'future wife' rolled out of his mouth so smoothly, my knees almost gave out, my folded arms between us as the last line of defense.

"Ri-right, uhm, communication is…" my breathing hitched when his fingertips brushed the side of neck as he gathered my hair to one side. "very… very, hmm, important." I bit my lip and tilted my head to the side. "W-why is no one aware about the wedding?" I fought against the growing urge to pounce on him.

"Hmm," he sounded, his eyes staring at my neck like he could see my veins pulsing so hard because of him. "So, no one can stop it?" he took my hands and placed it on his shoulders before he kissed the side of my neck. "Next question?" he asked, but how am I supposed to ask any questions when he's teasing me by planting small pecks on my neck, his thing growing bigger with excitement!

"Who would want to, aah..." When short moan left my mouth, I heard Leon let out a low growl and I shrieked.

"Let's talk somewhere comfortable," was what he said against my ear when he suddenly picked me up, carried me to the bed and sat me on his lap, his massive thighs between mine, and his hands on my hips, making sure I squirm my way out. "Where were we?" he whispered, his hands caressing, squeezing, my thighs lightly. "Do we need to talk now?" he said in a low, begging voice, that woke up the enchantress in me. "Can't we talk about this tomorrow?"

Heavens. I want him to want me so bad he'd go crazy!

"Communication is key, right?" my lips brushed against him when I answered, and when he leaned forward to kiss me, I leaned back. "About the wedding…" I wetted my lips, flicked my hair back to expose my neck. "…who would want to stop it?"

Steady Isa, and breathe... Don't pass out from the excitement now.

"The queen," he nibbled and planted a small kiss on the soft part of my ear, and I closed my eyes, my heart suddenly racing. "The princesses," he kissed me along my jawline to the spot just below the chin. "The king," he kissed the middle part of my neck, and I bit my lower lip again as I whispered a short moan.

I can feel his growing frustration against my inner thigh. Any more teasing and I will grind my hips against him. "Maybe my righteous brother, the prince?" he kissed my clavicle. When he couldn't get any lower because of our position, he moved a hand to support my back while his free arm hooked the small of it. "Some nobles who doesn't like me, probably?" he moved down to my chest, kissing ever so lightly, just on top of my breasts. "Who else?" he lifted his head and my eyelashes slowly fluttered open.

"Why did you stop?" I groaned. "There should be a long list since you're so eager to keep us a secret."

"Not a secret," he said determined and I wondered why but when his eyes shifted side to side, I knew exactly what he wanted. "My hands are full and your robe's on the way." A playful smile flashed on his face, and I should be smiling back, be even more playful and tease him some more. But I just suddenly froze.

Memories from a few years ago crept into my mind like a cunning thief robbing me of the supposed joy and excitement I should be feeling right now. I tried to push the thoughts away, but they were bigger and heavier that I thought.

The first time me and Terence danced. The first time Terence told me how pretty I looked in green. The first time we kissed. The shared moments—intimate moments—we had together. I thought I've forgotten them all. Locked away somewhere and the key lost in the void, never to be found and opened again.

I guess I thought wrong...

His kiss, his soft gazing eyes, his boyish smile, and his touch still lingered. His mellow voice on my ear whenever he whispered his sweet nothings were still as vivid as if it was just yesterday—as if it was just a moment ago.

Terence, my heart whispered his name and I just had to close my eyes to trap the emotions about to spill.

"Isadora?" I opened my eyes and stared at Leon, my brows gathering in. I looked to the side, my hands gripping my robe tightly together.

"I..." I struggled to get myself up, and when I did, I wrapped my arms around myself again. "I… I'm sorry. Uh, uhm…" It was as if I suddenly became mute that the only sounds and mumbles came out of my mouth. "Must be the excitement and, uh, something I ate... earlier." I brushed my hair of strays and discreetly ran my palm on my neck, wiping the trace of kisses I was just showered earlier. I wanted to look at Leon, but how could I possibly face him after hearing a loud sigh and me thinking of another man in the middle of drowning in carnal desires?

"Here you should sit down," Leon stood up from the bed after a few seconds and guided me to sit, squeezing my shoulders lightly before he walked towards the jug of water ahead. "Can you drink something?" He asked, handing me the half-filled cup.

I only nodded as a response and took a little sip before giving it back to Leon who patiently waited beside me. I whispered my thanks, and I pulled my legs over the bed to lie down. Before he left my side, he pulled the duvet over me. I expected him to leave me again to go and maybe release some of the built-up tension somewhere, but after drinking the remainder of what's in the cup, he went back to bed and lied down facing opposite me.

"Leon," I called, staring at nothingness ahead. "How long are we going to keep our marriage a secret?" I swallowed the lump on my throat. I don't want to hide my relationship with any man, let alone my husband, to anyone. When silence answered me, I shut my eyes tight and curled my body. I did light taps on my side until I managed to calm down.

Two years, Isadora Montcroix. Two years. You had two years to heal yourself and move on. Two damn years to come into terms of the fact that a married man, especially a noble, would always--always-- choose his equally noble wife. Two years to realize that no amount of love for each other would ever trump over a noble family's connections that stems from who knows who's ancestors.

Two years, Isadora.

My heart beat so fast it was deafening.

Yes, I had two years, and I thought those two years were enough. But they weren't. Marked as my most productive years, I drowned myself in work I barely had anytime to think about Terence. After I broke things off with him, I made myself unavailable to male advances, and showing up in parties only when I have some hidden business agendas. My lessen public appearance and growing wealth made some people wonder what I was doing, and to be honest, this made me even more… desirable, most would say.

Not desirable enough for Terence to come back, though. When I left him, I heard that he went overseas to start a new family business. 

I sighed a long sigh. I bit my lower lip and waited for the turmoil in my chest to settle. Right about now, Terence would've already pulled me closer and ask me what was wrong, and we'll sort things out until we—I—were both fine.

I took another deep breath and curled some more, my hands clasped together beneath my pillow. Terrence's humming floated in head until I fell asleep.

*****

My sleep was shallow as I kept turning and turning and turning. When I opened my eyes, I could say I was feeling better.

Gone were the waves of emotions churning my stomach, however, when I turned to face the balcony, only the pillows greeted me, so it started again. My heart felt like it would sink to the floor if I stood from bed, but at the same time I couldn't let myself feel this way any longer. I couldn't help but feel guilty about what happened earlier. I let my emotions overrule my brain and now I feel like I was back to square one not just with my relationship with my soon-to-be husband, but of everything!

I laid on my back and tossed my arm over my forehead. I want to shout, I want to flail my arms, I want to throw something, break something!

"Damn it!" I said aloud. "What in the Heavens' wrong with you now, Isadora Montcroix?! Your wedding's tomorrow. Stop feeling sorry and get out of bed, dress, eat, and go on with your day. Remember, you still haven't asked the good Count about the unbelievable amount of money he has, and this island is generating! Not to mention all the treasures sitting around this castle." I growled and rolled over to my side before getting out of bed. I looked ahead for my slippers where I remember dropping them off only to find them neatly placed at the foot of the bed. I smiled. How thoughtful of my husband-to-be. Correction, secret husband-to-be.

 I shook my head. Let's not think about this again, Isadora Montcroix—I cleared my throat to reprimand myself—Your future self will sort this out. Right now, Isadora, just worry about your wedding and how to make up for that interrupted intimacy with the Count.

I nodded at the mirror and held my head high, staring back to admire myself, which later, made me lower my gaze to my neck. Staring at it, and remembering the lips that showered me kisses, was a mixture of emotions.

Regret. Lust. Guilt. Pleased. Annoyed, and the list went on and on and on. But it's no time to feel all that as the chapel bell rang and my head darted to the nearby mantle and saw that it was already seven past eight in the morning. Anytime now and my maids would knock on the door and attend to me.

Should I get back to bed or just stay here? Maybe I should go to the balcony and bask in the morning sun. Yes, maybe that's what I should do. The sight of the vast ocean and the sky will make whatever this is I'm feeling, small.

Yes, that's what I need. Sunlight, ocean breeze, and—and a pair of soft lips and large, rough hands against my ski—I finally screamed; my fists clenched to the side.

"Get a hold of yourself, Isa—"

"Lady Isa?!" A panting head housekeeper, Viola, Marie swung the door opened, a few curious heads behind them. "We heard you scream. Are you alright?"