Loop 554: The Perfect Run

"Well, that didn't work."

I've heard it so many times before, but this time, it's going to work.

I've learned a lot since the first time I made it to the surface. Through the ultimate trial-and-error, I've learned that directly confronting the police is impossible. If they don't believe me, they shoot me. If they do believe me, they rush in and try to stop it and forcibly take me to a medic waiting on scene. At first, that was great, until the explosion happened. The mirror's destruction causes far more damage than I initially imagined. It's not just the building that comes down, either. I once made it around the police and started running as far as I could. I was three blocks away when the timer went off, and there was no rumbling nor falling debris. Even that far away, it was a quick flash of searing, hot light and then darkness. Tens of thousands will likely die when it happens.

I was ready to give up after that, but I kept at it. Well, I kept at it in that I literally didn't have any other choice. Either I get away from the blast, or die in it and come back here. There's only one escape, and giving up will never get me there.

I've also come to the conclusion that I have to take Sarah with me. Now that escape actually seems feasible, I've never been able to shake the guilt of leaving her behind to die confused and alone as I rushed out of the room. It hasn't been easy, but I've finally figured it out.

We came up with a sort of code phrase. She doubted what I was saying a lot of the times we went through the facility and it would end up getting one of us killed. So, I asked her to tell me something that she's never told anyone before and that no one else could possibly know about. That way, when I tell her, she'll know immediately that I'm telling the truth.

"No matter what you accomplish, just know I'll always be proud of you, my little butterfly."

It was the last thing her father ever said to her. No one else was in the hospital room but them, and she's never told a soul about it. It works pretty much every time, right away. I can't believe I didn't think of that before. It would have saved me so many deaths.

I tell her what her father said, and she knows it's the real deal.

"Just follow me, do exactly what I say, and we'll make it out of here. Stay quiet, stay down, and stay behind me. Can you do that?"

She nods, and we set to work. I've made another massive discovery since the first time I made it all the way up to the surface. I found a different security key card that will give me access to another elevator on B9 that will take us right to the surface. The trouble was that it would take us right through the bulk of the guards.

I spent a few loops just sitting and trying to get a map in my head of the whole room and everyone's movements. The trouble was time. I had to arrive at around the same time, every time, or things would get thrown off. I found that the best time to arrive would be around 35 minutes or so after I wake up.

Sarah, to her credit, is doing great so far. We make it up to the security office without a hitch. We're even three minutes ahead of schedule, which may be a bad thing if we aren't careful. In about thirty seconds, a set of three of the guards will head to the conference room to check on the status, once they leave we can take a right out of the elevator and go to where the keycard is.

With the keycard in hand, we sneak past another four and head straight for the elevator. No one even notices until the elevator starts to come down. This was where things get tricky. Once the elevator was coming, it would alert between four to five of them.

I've tried fighting, hiding and running around until we could get in, but most of the time I didn't have a lot of luck. Fighting would usually result in injury or death for one or both of us. Hiding only worked until the elevator arrived, then they would be waiting at the elevator and we'd have no way to get past them. Running around was okay, but once we were spotted a single time they would start shooting and there wouldn't be anything to protect us.

This time I try something a little different. I spent some time in a previous loop to try and rig something up for a distraction from some spare bits lying around our lab. The first few times it took too long to make, but now I've rigged a timer to a little device that can vibrate and make loud noises. When we first snuck into the room, I tossed it under the desk with the keycard. When the elevator arrives, they should be distracted enough that we can slip in without being noticed.

Sure enough, it works. The noise sets all the guards on alert and they rush over to the desk. Sarah and I quickly run into the elevator, swipe the card, type the authorization code (which I got from the guard once before, holding a gun to his head) and we head up to the surface. We still have almost 40 minutes to spare, we might even arrive before the cops.

I let out a deep breath and a smile crosses my face for the first time in weeks. This time we might actually do it. I don't want to get too hopeful. Hope can lead to mistakes, and then I'll have to start the whole thing over again. The elevator reaches with a ding, and we step out into the, thankfully empty, security manager's office behind the reception area.

I look out of the small window into the lobby and the large windows there. It's still empty. This is the best run I've ever had, and it looks like it will finally be the one. I take Sarah by the hand and we run straight out of the front doors.

I find someone at a stoplight with their window rolled down and point my pistol in. They quickly get out, and Sarah, still looking shocked, hops in the passenger side. I haul ass like I never have before, leaving a trail of rubber behind us as we take off out of the city.

I've never been this far before, and I still don't know how far the explosion will reach, so I keep going. I blast through downtown and out into the suburbs, eventually finding my way out onto a mountain trail that overlooks the city. Once we're finally in the clear, I stop the car and sit still.

"I did it!" I yell, not realizing how loud I am. "I fucking did it!"

I start laughing hysterically, almost to the point of crying, while punching the steering wheel. I don't know why, something just came over me. Sarah puts her hand on my shoulder and looks at me. She's still clearly scared. I would be if I had just seen all of that for the first time, too.

I return the gesture and get out of the car.

"So…" Sarah starts, unsure of how to even begin.

"How many times have I been through this?" I ask for her.

She nods sheepishly, and I continue.

"I don't' know the exact number, but I know it's over 500."

"That's insane!" She exclaims. "So you've…died more than 500 times?"

I sigh.

"We both have. But it's finally all over."

"What do you think caused all of this?"

"I haven't taken a lot of time to figure it out, but I can only assume it's the mirror. Those people who are attacking are going to try and restart it in about…"

I look down at my wrist.

"Four minutes or so. When they do, it's going to explode, taking most of the building and at least three city blocks with it."

"That's horrible!"

It is horrible, but I don't feel it. I can't feel anything but elation with a hint of fear. What if we weren't far enough? What if all of this is a dream? None of it matters. That's all for later. I have to stay cool for now. I try and ease her.

"I know, trust me, but there's nothing I can do to stop them. I tried fighting them, but I can't beat them. It never works. Escaping was the only way. At least we made it out with our lives. I think the explosion is what's keeping me stuck in these loops. When it happens, it must disturb something and since I was the one in the epicenter when it went off the first time, I'm the constant that it goes back to. At least that's what I think, I honestly have no idea."

"But if it's still going to happen, won't you just get pulled back in?"

I shake my head. It's another fear creeping steadily forward in my mind, but it doesn't make sense.

"I don't think so. I think it's just being caught up in the proximity of the explosion. I think this time I'll be far enough away. We must be at least a few miles out by now."

I look down at my watch, it's time.

I point to the city and we both watch, her in horror and me with a morbid curiosity. I want to see just how close I was to getting out the last time when I was by myself.

We hear something happening, and the ground starts to shake even where we are. There's a blinding light coming from a focal point where the Nuvison building was. And then, almost like something out of the apocalypse, all of downtown Denver is enveloped in the light as it spreads. The force pushes all the way to us, knocking us both over, shattering the windows of the car and nearly knocking over some of the trees around us.

When the light fades, the crater it leaves behind must be a mile in diameter. Sarah screams; I'm in shock. Everything that was there before is gone, completely vaporized in almost an instant. There were no fires, no massive calamity, no mushroom cloud raining down debris, just a large, jagged hole going dozens of stories down, where an entire chunk of the city used to be. The horror of it all is too much to comprehend. Hundreds of thousands of people were dead, and everything around the hole was starting to collapse into it. Who knows how many more will die?

Finally, Sarah breaks the silence.

"You need to go back."

I look at her, my jaw hanging open.

"What? Is that a joke?"

She gives me an angry look.

"No. You need to go back and you need to do it now. Just look at what happened down there! It's our fault!"

I sigh.

"It's horrible, but it's not our fault. We're not the ones who tried to use the mirror too soon."

"We built the fucking mirror, Geoff! It doesn't matter who used it when. At some level, it's our fault, and you can actually do something about it! You have to go back."

"Not a fucking chance," I say, staring her dead in the eyes. Is she insane?

"I have been stuck in a 90-minute loop for almost a month. I've died over five hundred times, and I feel it every single time. I can't fight off the attackers and they won't talk to me."

"Then make them talk to you! If you can make it here once, you can do it again!"

I scoff.

"Easy for you to say, you have no idea what I've had to go through to get us here, especially to get you here!"

"Then don't get me here! None of it matters if this is the end result, don't you see that? I'll gladly die if it means all those people don't have to. You have a responsibility, Geoff! You are literally the only person in the world who can stop this from happening, don't you think you should at least try?"

"Don't you think I fucking have?!" I yell, getting in her face. "I've tried and failed, over and over again. It can't be helped. It took me this long just to find a way out, who knows how many more times I'll have to die before I can even figure out a way to stop it from happening. Who knows if I'll even go back. What if I'm just dead?"

"You have to try, you can't let this happen. You can save all of those people. It's up to you, now. If it's the blast from the mirror, the radiation will still all be there for at least a few hours. You have to do this, Geoff."

I don't look at her. I know she's right. I'm basically a superhuman at this point, but it's hard to care about those people after what I've been through. I can still feel the phantom pain of every single one of the times that I've died. I don't want to go through it all again, countless more times. And what if she's wrong? What if I just end up killing myself after everything I've fought so hard for? I have to make a decision.

I fight against the voice that tells me to just let it go and walk away, and I decide that if they can be saved, then it's up to me to do it. If I can't, then I'll escape again. It won't be easy, but at least now I know how to do it.

I walk back to the car, taking the pistol out of the seat where I left it.

"I hope you're right about this," I say as I put it to my temple.

"I know you can do it. Good luck. Let me help you in there, I'm sure we can figure something out together."

"We'll see."

I try and pull the trigger, but I can't. Even after dying 500 times, my survival instincts are as strong as ever. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. It's just like jumping into a pool for the first time, a quick leap and it's all over with.

I pull the trigger and leap back into the nightmare again.