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Poems from the Past

Trigger warnings will be put before the starting of each chapter, some may contain mentions about self harm and suicide ___________________________________________________________ Pain was all I felt , instead of falling to the darkness I started writting. Writting has become my light through the dark tunnel I call life. Join me to find out how I struggle with my depression and live life. I also post on wattpad do check it out if you want: https://my.w.tt/yUdK9Dtewab

softsummery · 青春言情
分數不夠
59 Chs

-5-

Once upon a time, there was a girl she'd given up hope on happiness and rather started embracing the darkness. Scars marking her body she just felt hopeless. All her feelings she'd bottle them up, always writting in that small blue book of hers. There she goes writting in it again , oh wait what is that? C A L L I S T O it spelt finally it seems that the girl actually had a name.

              Callisto felt like giving up, but she knows she might fail in that too. She's been told she was a failure one to many times, she'd been told she failed in life and failed to be as the others. Constantly being compared to others she hates it, never getting love she's used to it. Callisto doesn't seem to understand why she was built this way , tears instantly filling up her eyes at the slightest raise in voice. Some days she doesn't let it all get to her but some days are just absolute hell. She just can't understand her messed up life.

             Callisto feels as if she's not pretty enough, but how could she when there are many more out there way prettier than her. Growing up insecure took a huge toll on her life even the slightest insult can send her spiralling down to a dark place. She's been told she wasn't pretty enough multiple times that she has started believing them too. She's been lied too, she's broken, she hides the pain behind a mask slowly picking up the pieces. She hides behind baggy clothes with a smile on her face, while others don't know what is it that she actually hides. Callisto doesn't like her body, her weight or her smile if you give her a chance the list goes on for miles.

             Callisto never liked talking about her feelings instead she shuts them off when she's around people. She rather hear other people's problems than talking about her own. She likes helping people so much that sometimes she forgets she herself needs help. Come to think of it Callisto hates celebrating her birthday, almost all her birthdays for the past 5 years have ended with crying herself to sleep. She hates being reminded of the day the was brought into this cruel world. If we're being honest, Callisto actually wished she was dead. Everyday she would pray someone would here her and take her away from this awful place.

             Callisto tried telling her mother about her depression but "she" just brushed it aside. Callisto has social anxiety, she doesn't talk much , doesnt like going to new places or meeting new people but people just label her as a shy person and she usually gets scolded because of that. Callisto never likes maintaining eye contact, she's afraid people might be able to read her or even worse she might just break down. Mental health is not a joke it is a vital thing to be taught. But what if it's the parents who are causing the kid's depression? Then what happens, because I for a fact know we can't blame the parents can we?. They'll just say they did it all out of love or they only did it because the love us. What's going to happen to kids like Callisto?

             Callisto doesn't know when this will all end, hopefully soon but we all know that won't come true. She becomes numb, she's become cold, she hides all her feelings behind a wall. When tears fall she's all alone, but all she just wants is for it to stop. She just wants to stop feeling, she wants to stop hurting and maybe if it's not much to ask she just wants to stop living. She rather be dead than suffer through all this pain.

-The End-

Love,

C🦋