03

I kept on calling Miru pero hindi siya sumasagot. Pumunta din ako sa bahay nila pero wala siya. Wala din si tita. Ang sabi ng yaya nila hindi pa raw bumabalik si Miru galing sa cafe, si tita naman hindi niya alam kung nasaan.

I searched for every place na pwedeng puntahan ni Miru. I went to school dahil baka nandoon siya, bumalik ulit ako sa cafe at sinabihan sila na tawagan ako kapag bumalik doon si Miru. I searched everywhere pero wala akong makitang Miru.

My phone rung, dali dali kong sinagot ang tawag without looking at the caller ID.

"Miru nasaan ka? Kanina pa kita tinatawag–"

"Bella"

"Tita Lucy? I'm sorry po akala ko si Miru."

"It's okay iha. Sinabi ni yaya pumunta ka raw dito kanina? Are you looking for Miru?"

"Yes po tita. Kanina ko pa kasi siya tinatawagan pero hindi siya sumasagot. I'm worried po tita"

"Don't worry Bella. He's fine." Tita said in an encouraging voice.

"Tita what's happening? I'm really confused right now. Nakipag kita siya sa akin tapos he–" I can't finish my sentence. Hindi ko kayang sabihin na nakipaghiwalay si Miru sa akin.

"He'll be fine iha. I'm sorry but I need to call someone. Take care okay? Bye."

"Pero tita–"

I wasn't able to finish dahil binaba na ni tita ang tawag. Now I'm really confused. What the hell is happening?! First, Miru broke up with me without any reason! Second, tita is acting strange. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Hindi ko na alam kung saan pa hahanapin si Miru.

A week passed by quickly. Wala pa rin akong contact kay Miru. Hindi pa rin siya sumasagot sa tawag ko. Pero I kept on trying. Hindi ako pwedeng sumuko. Alam ko may problema si Miru. Pero ano?

Today, May 2020 is our graduation day. After five years of pagpupuyat at pag-iyak dahil sa plates graduate na rin kami finally! This should be a happy day pero ni ngiti hindi ko magawa. How can I when Miru still hasn't contacted me. I can reach him through calls and text pero hindi siya sumasagot.

Hindi rin sumipot si Miru sa graduation. While I was walking on the stage, with a toga and diploma with me, all I think was Miru. Nasaan na siya? Bakit niya ginawa sa akin to? This day should make me happy pero bakit nasasaktan ako ng ganito?

After that, para nalang akong hangin. I didn't greet my batch mates. I didn't responded to their congratulations. I didn't talked to anyone, even at daddy.

Habang pauwi kami ni daddy, he told me nagpa'reserve siya sa restaurant for our dinner. Kaming dalawa lang. Wala na kasi si mommy. She was diagnosed with colon cancer. Months after the diagnosis, she died. I was still young though, sabi nila hindi naman daw ako umiyak. Little did they know I was silently crying at my room asking God why He took my mommy away from me.

Nobody was there for me after the burial. Daddy got busy with his work and I'm quite aware na pinapagod niya ang sarili niya sa pagtatrabaho para hindi niya masyadong ma-isip si mommy. He loved her so much kaya nung nawala si mommy ginawa niya ang lahat para makapag move on. But I'm sure he still haven't moved on yet.

There was a time I saw him crying in front of mommy's picture at their room. Asking her kung bakit iniwan siya nito. I can't bear looking at my dad in that state kaya umalis ako. I locked myself in my room and cried silently. I just missed my mommy too much, gusto kong sabihin kay daddy pero even dad is in his weakest point. So I needed to be strong for myself.

"Daddy can we go home? I wanna rest" I said.

"Pero anak nakapag-reserve na ako. Sayang naman yun." He glanced at me. "This is a milestone for you. Imagine how proud I am nung nalaman ko na magna cum laude ang anak ko"

"I wanna go home. Can we go home? Please daddy?"

He sighed and said. "Okay. Baka pagod ka lang. Anyway pwede naman sa susunod nalang tayo kumain sa labas diba?"

I nodded. Hindi na ako sumagot, tinignan ko nalang ang bintana ng sasakyan.

The next day. Pumunta ako sa cafe at naabutan ko si tita. When she saw me dali dali niya akong nilapitan at niyakap.

"Bella! I'm sorry I wasn't able to attend your graduation. But congratulations iha"

"Thank you tita. Uhm bakit hindi umattend si Miru?"

She looked away. Her breathing changed as well. Ano ba talaga ang nagyayari? Isang linggo na pero wala pa rin akong alam. Litong lito pa rin ako.

"Tita please, tell me. What is happening? Kasi I'm so confused na po. Nasaan po ba si Miru?"

"Iha please it's–"

"Tita please just tell me."

"Okay. I shouldn't hide that from you but let's take a seat first"

We sat at the nearest chair. She hold my hands and looked at my eyes directly.

"Miru is not here. Last week pa. I tried to stopped him pero desidido na siya..."

I was anticipating what tita would say next. But I'm still confused.

"...I shouldn't tell you this kasi magagalit si Miru pero I can't continue this kasi nakikita kong nasasaktan at nahihirapan ka na."

"Miru is in Bataan. He went there after you two talked last week. He doesn't have any plans on coming back home as of the moment."

"Why? Anong ginagawa niya doon."

"I don't know iha. All he said was he wanted to go there." Tita said. "Are you gonna follow him? Kasi kung oo I will tell you where he's staying."

Bataan? What would he do there? As far as I know wala silang kamag anak doon. I am eager to know everything kaya pumayag ako. Pupuntahan ko si Miru. I'm gonna demand an explanation! I'm not gonna stop not until he tells me everything!

Kasi honestly sumasakit na ang ulo ko kaka-isip kung ano bang problema namin, kung may kasalanan ba ako sa kanya, or baka naman siya ang may kasalanan sa akin!

Paano kung nakahanap na siya ng iba? Paano kung ayaw na niya sa akin? Paano kung hindi na niya ako mahal? Paano kung may iba na siya at kasama niya ngayon ang bago niya sa Bataan?! Hindi! Hindi ako papayag!

Overthinking won't do me any good kaya I flew to Bataan the next day. Daddy wanted to stop me pero kahit sino hindi makakapigil sa akin.

I want answers! I don't want to think of the what ifs, what could, and what would. Kasi mababaliw lang ako.

Miru humanda ka sa akin! Dahil hindi ako babalik ng Cebu nang hindi nalalaman ang problema mo. Kung kina'kailangang kaladkarin kita pabalik ng Cebu ay gagawin ko. Kung kina'kailangang pigain kita para sabihin mo sa akin ang lahat, gagawin ko.

***

:)