Lunatic Fiction

A rainy night in a cramped pub.

A muscular man with blonde hair and a blind old man carrying a katana is sitting at the counter while drinking some beer.

'Mozart went out again?' The muscular man spoke after he gobbled up his mug of beer.

'That little monster sure is energetic, he just murdered the northern mob last night and he's going to murder that loan shark now.' The blind old man said while sharpening his blade.

'Well, what can we do? He is labeled as the greatest assassin of Louisiana's orphanage for a goddamn reason.'

'Ugh, I really want a blowjo* right now'

A ginger-headed man said while his arms were in his pockets.

'Oh my fucking god!' The muscular man said out of surprise as he pulled out his phone from his pocket.

'Speak of the devil. Why would you send someone a video of you blasting someone's head.' Said the ginger-headed guy.

'I am glad that bastard blinded me 20 years ago.'

____

A guy wearing a white jump suit approached a big door at the end of the corner of a 5 star luxury hotel and knocked on the door while holding nothing but a katana.

'What do you need, kid?'

The guy then entered the room and introduced himself while smiling at everyone inside the room full of portraits of animals.

'Hi, gentle--dogs! My name is Mozart and I don't have a last name and I am here to murder all of you so-'

The men in black suits then pulled up a gun and fired at Mozart, showering bullets in his direction.

'FYI I am 24 years old,168cm, 70kg, and my blood is type O.'

The room suddenly becomes quiet and two of the men in suits check if Mozart is dead. They walk slowly and carefully as they reload their guns.

Mozart suddenly comes out and steals the gun and shoots the man in his face, causing his brain to shoot out in the back of his head. 'Oh, thanks for the gun.' The other guy shoots at Mozart again but the latter grabs the other guy who came to check him and used him as a shield.

'Didn't your mothers teach you it's not polite to interrupt other people while they're talking? More over shooting them. Even an orphan like me knows it.' He said while reloading the gun he is holding.

The guy who is at the back and ordering the men to shoot suddenly grabs all his jewelry and hides at the back of the door.

'Stop wasting bullets for god's sake! Do you know how expensive one round of AK47 is?' Mozart then comes out and shoots the guys in the faces and in the eyes, killing them instantly.

'Kill that son of a bitch!' A large bald guy said while reloading his gun.

'The fucking irony, Why am I the one who first ran out of bullets.' Mozart then throws the guns right in the face of his opponents. 'Now I am going to show you how well I use katana-' Mozart then releases his katana, just for him to know that he picked up a toy instead of a real one.

He then smashes the toy at the big bald guy, but the bald guy didn't even fazed a bit.

'Oh , god please no!' The bald guy attempted to wrestle him to the ground, but Mozart was able to steal the knife from the guy's side pocket and stab the bald guy in his carotid artery. 'He also has a pistol.'

After that, the men's heads and killed them while singing-twinkling little star and performing acrobats while he is shooting them using the guns he stole from the guys. 'Now I wonder what you are, up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky...'

Mozart then finally found the head of the man and his main target shivering and whimpering while hugging his valuables. 'W-What the fuck do you need?' Said the man who had snot all over his face.

'I just want to fucking know the answer to this question that I had in my head a very long time ago.. Why the hell do those bodyguards always wear black suits, eh? Why don't you just hire all the cast of Men in black, huh? I have every right to hate men in black at this point.'

'H-Heeelp!' The guy who was wiping then shouted as if it was the last day of his life.

'Well technically, it is his last day, Mr. Narrator, so yeah... Bye bye!' Mozart then shot him in the head, silencing him forever.

----

A few days later...

'Damn, my life is pretty boring, eh?' Mozart said while sitting on an old coach and looking at the paper bills he had just received earlier in the morning.

'The job that I was sent last night wasn't even fun. I don't what to do at this moment punishing those bastards isn't fun anymore. If only I could--'

A paper suddenly entered the window and landed in Mozart's face. 'Get paid 50,000 dollars? Become a Guinee pig? Who am I to be choosing what job should I get at this point.' Mozart then suits up and went to the location that is indicated in the paper.

Mozart arrives at the premises of a large building, everywhere with white lab coats and everywhere and a line of people wearing patients' robes everywhere.

'Here to become a Guinee pig? Here, sign this up!' A guy said with no expression and handed Mozart an application form and a red pen.

'Okay, Mr.? Nah, I'll just call you npc. This is your last appearance after all.'

After a while, Mozart entered a room and a lot of medicine was injected into him and he suddenly lost consciousness and dropped to the floor.