Ch 145: Finding the Right Words

Man, I was being such an idiot right now! How difficult it is to say I love you and the reason why I know I love is because I have a bond connection with you! But no! For whatever reason, I couldn't get the right words out! They were stuck in my vocal cords!

I sigh deeply then asked her softly. "Why are you so scared that I wouldn't find you compatible? Why do you feel we would lose interest in each other? "

Sally turned to look at me and shared. "Because again we don't know each other. You're forcing me into this marriage and I don't understand why that is. Why are you rushing me?"

"Because I made up my mind." I grew silent thinking about how to get the words out correctly. "Honestly, Sally, I can't deny how I feel about you. A man knows when he's found the one he loves. Women are different they don't always know but they might deny it if they do. They get crushes easier thinking it's love. But men take the lead and get their women to fall in love with them. The man keeps their love flowing. The true love forms from the man, not the woman."

"Are you saying, you actually have feelings for me?" Shaken in her voice, she asked.

It was now or ever and tried again."Yes, Sally, I do! The second I saw you it just hit me! And I did try to push it off but I got to the point that I just couldn't deny it to myself anymore. If I let you go I'll regret it like Nick."

I stopped in my words feeling my throat go raw. Darn me! Just spit out already and quit going in cycles!

"Sally, I love you!" I finally got it out. "I have a bond connection to you."

A huge weight finally lifted from my shoulders to confess what I'd been wanting to tell her. The words I love you weren't something I said to any woman, I've counted.

Her face turned bleach white. She was shocked taking it in. Great! Now I was second-guessing myself here. Maybe I shouldn't have told her anything. It might have been too soon, I stressed.

"But what if you marry me and regret it?" She asked me trying to deny what I told her. "What if you find out it's not a real bond connection? Wouldn't you feel Rachel would be the rightful Primary Queen to this Kingdom?"

Her harsh rejection made my heart harden. "What would I do with you, Sally! Make you a personal servant to serve me and Rachel! Until one of my men decided to marry you because of how beautiful you are! Regardless of having a bond connection to you or not. Or yet one of my cousins would end up taking you as a wife because you're a Princess! You can't live with the commoners because that isn't your Kind! You belong to the Kingdom this was your birthplace! You are under our rules whether you want to be or not!" I hissed out cruelly without meaning to.

I saw her eyes were fearful of me and hurt. Now I felt horrible to see her shudder. I subsided my anger to think maybe she understood her rejection of the bond was causing me to have these mood swings. First, she took an easy breath. Now I could tell she was thinking.

She faced the water again and said softly without looking at me. "I understand I don't belong with Commoners Society. It's just going to take me some time to adjust." She looked at me with her heartbroken eyes which made me weep inside. "What if I can't bear you any children? Would you be disappointed in me?" She asked me merely whispering.

I smiled and touch her face and tenderly said. "Sally, if you can't give me a child, that's okay. I want you and of course, I'd love to have kids with you. But I promise this is all going to work out. I will take care of you. I will always love you and I won't ever stop. I have all the signs to know that you are the one. I wouldn't be able to get over you if I let you go. I'd never marry anyone else except for you." She nodded to understand.

"Besides it's already too late. I gave you the engagement ring with that you are already chosen to be Primary Queen and my bride. Once you're engaged that is the set claim and there is no turning back from it or getting out of it." I lastly said lying to her.

Since I knew she is the only hybrid-woman that has more than enough say to stop the wedding. But she knew nothing about her rights as the Grand Duchess. In most ways, I am wrongfully taking advantage of her lack of knowledge. It may have been greedy but I can't lose her. Not again for a third time. Nor can I risk my Kingdom from falling from not taking her ranking title by this marriage.

I released her face and wrapped my arm over her shoulder. After merely a second of waiting she leaned into me and rested her head up against my shoulder. While we both gazed at the semi-deep creek.

"I get that there isn't a way out of this." She confessed softly. "I'm just worried and scared something could go wrong between us."

I kissed her temple leaning on me and whispered. "I understand your concern. This will take time for us to adjust to each other. But I am happy to hear you're finally seeing there isn't a way out."

Again I kissed her head softly as I heard her intake another deep breath and slowly released it.

"I hope us talking about this helped?" I asked.

"In some ways." She admitted, "it's still stressful."

"It'll take time," I whispered focusing on the water. Which was seemingly more soothing to be next to her.

Suddenly, I heard my phone ring and I took it out of my pocket. Seeing it was my ally Primary King Deacon. "I'll be back, I need to take this call," I said looking at the screen funny.