Family Matters

[author]Haven't edited yet. Ended up writing more than planned, so I'll go back later when I have time.[/author]

I sat at the head of my round table, staring out at the impromptu family meeting.

Right. Today would mark the first day of the Greyrat family meeting for me. A personal round table discussion involving all matters of my family life.

It was already kind of a thing after I got out of my edgelord phase back in Buina village, but now it was definitely a thing with all the people related to me popping up left and right.

First, the culprit that sprung the most of this chaos sat across the table from me. Roland... who had given up on hiding his face, letting everyone see what he really looked like under there.

The rumors weren't lying. He definitely had an extraordinarily handsome face. A true bishounen that gave off MC vibes.

The problem was that he had bright green hair the same color Sylphy had when she was younger AND that he looked like a cross between me and Sylphy.

He had my facial features. The sharp and handsome face that were apparently the hallmarks of Greyrat males. But his eyes were soft like Sylphy's and were even a crimson color the exact shade that hers used to be. He also had pointed ears, though shorter than Sylphy's.

Then, on either side of him, the other culprits for this mess.

To Roland's left and my right, there was Enoch. Or like she wanted to be called among friends and family, Ena.

She had changed into a loose and fluffy white robe instead of her favorite lewd attire. Paired with her wings, it made her look like a proper angel instead of the doujinshi heroine from before.

On the other side of Roland, to his right and my left, there was Eos. Unlike her older sister, Eos liked practical and modest clothing, so she didn't need to change. Wearing her usual pair of glasses and the Survey Corps uniform, she laced her fingers together and rested them on the table, quietly waiting.

The three troublemakers. And also, my three children.

Technically.

...No. I guess it wasn't technically if they were actually created from my essence... as weird as that was to think about.

Enoch and Eos were constructed using the genetic material in my blood along with my mana.

I wasn't entirely sure why they were angels, but the fact that they looked like Mom was enough proof of their relation to me.

...It was also why it was always awkward walking around with them since people assumed we were a thing. And the thought of being a thing with Mom was just *weird.*

Like, who thought that? It'd be the same if people tried to set me up to be with Mama Lily or something.

But anyway, even though I didn't know the exact process of how it happened, I did know that I didn't just pluck Enoch and Eos out of some parallel timeline or something since there weren't any spacetime wonkiness when they appeared. Just a lot of golden light, both of them naked like a newborn baby, and then really awkward hugging.

As for Roland...

I definitely didn't make *him.* Well, not 'me' anyway. I thought I did since I assumed he was just animating the mud doll and armor I made.

But apparently not. He was definitely a real flesh and blood person. And it seemed like he was definitely plucked from another timeline.

Specifically, one where Sylphy and I were a thing and she gave birth to him.

Speaking of Sylphy...

She and Eris were also seated at the round table.

Sylphy was seated on the side of the table to my left, giving me a bit of space, while Eris was sitting opposite of her, on the side to my right.

Ever since Roland walked in and let that little comment slip, Sylphy was over the moon. Giggling to herself, staring at me with hearts in her eyes while occasionally looking over at Roland with a content sigh... And then immediately looking back to me and licking her lips.

...Yeah. I was starting to wonder if the Curse that Elinalise was supposed to have got transferred to Sylphy somehow... or if Dad was a really, really, *really* bad influence on her when she was younger.

Considering that I didn't see or feel anything wrong coming from Sylphy, it was 100% the latter.

Which meant I needed to deck him in the face at least once when we saw each other again.

But anyway, that was Sylphy.

Eris wasn't too happy at finding out Roland was the son of me and Sylphy. But since it got cleared up that Ena and Eos were my daughters, she had been starting to give me weird looks too.

Weird looks as in her eyes glowed with hearts traced out in orange flames and she kept fiddling with things. Her sword hilt, her buttons... Even right now, she was purposefully keeping her hands folded on the table and doing her best to avoid eyecontact with me.

Of course, Norn and Stella were here with me too.

Right now, I was letting Norn sit on my lap and spoiling her a bit with headpats.

Stella had been put out at that, but she stopped caring after I gave her the magic formation to let her use <Mage Sight> and a simple <Magic Arrays> to play with. Though she still sent me judging looks every now and then.

...It seemed like there wasn't any saving my image of being a baka pervert Onii-chan in her eyes.

Though I couldn't wait to see how she reacted to Dad. And to his utter despair when he was on the other side of Stella's disgusted judging look.

But anyway, that was all of us. The current members of the Greyrat household in my kingdom of Arcadia on the Magic Continent.

Right.

That was everyone accounted for.

Which meant it was time to start the meeting.

...Which meant it was time for me to start talking.

I looked around at everyone again, doing my best to keep my composed expression.

Eris and Sylphy stared at me, waiting on my words.

Roland avoided my gaze.

Ena looked guilty, poking her fingers together.

Eos... was reading a book. Though she also hadn't turned the page in the past ten minutes, so it seemed like she was feeling a bit guilty too.

Silence.

And then I said, "So. Now that we've all calmed down a bit, I'll say it again." I waved my left hand and said, "Ena, Eos, and Roland. Although their arrival in this world was unexpected, it's an absolute fact that they're my children. Ena and Eos were born from my blood and mana through a divine miracle..."

Or something. Still wasn't sure on that part.

"...But Roland is my child from a different time. And your mother is Sylphy, is it not?"

Roland glanced at Sylphy. And then he looked at Eris and shook his head. "No."

Wait, what?

"...No?"

Roland looked up at me and said, "I have three mothers. Sylphy is my birth mother, but there's also Red Mama and Blue Mama- I mean, Eris and Roxy."

Silence. Another casual bombshell dropped by Roland.

...Well. If there was any doubt about him being my son, it was gone now.

Goddammit, Kid.

Was this how Dad felt? I was too young to deal with all of this B.S...

Sylphy straightened and looked at Roland. As she did, she carefully tilted her head and said, "Roxy is your mother too?"

Eris leaned forward and frowned. "...Yes. Rolo. Why don't you tell us a bit more about your mothers?"

Roland started to sweat. He gulped and then reached up to clear his throat. "T-That... Well... You see..." He looked up at me.

A familiar expression. I'd made the same before when I looked to Dad to try and bail me out of situations.

He obviously just trolled me.

And considering how hard Roland had just trolled me, I was tempted to do the same.

But the cycle ended here.

Instead, I spoke up and said, "While I'm sure that it would be interesting to hear his past, I have to remind you two that Roland isn't from our time."

Roland quickly nodded. "That's correct, Father." He stared at me and frowned. "...To begin with, you were never this ridiculous. Father was a great man, but you..."

Sylphy puffed her chest out and smiled. "Of course! Rudy's the best!"

Norn laughed and said, "Yes. Big Brother is the strongest." After saying that, she leaned back to look up at me with a proud smile.

I ruffled her hair and said, "And Nornie is incredible too. Never think that you aren't, okay?"

Norn's eyes turned watery, but she let out shaky smile and nodded. "O-Okay!"

I patted her head, smiling back.

Eris rolled her eyes and said, "Don't give him a big head, Sylphy. He'll start to think he can just pick up whatever girls he fancies at this point."

Sylphy's smile instantly faded and she gave Eris a serious nod. "You're right." She turned to look at me and said, "Roxy's the only other person. Okay, Rudy?"

"...Person?"

"That includes spirits!"

"I wasn't- Never mind."

I was just curious why she used 'person' instead of 'woman.' But I had a feeling that'd open up a rabbithole I wasn't prepared to explore, so I turned my attention back to Roland.

Ena leaned on the table and stared at Roland's face. "Hm..."

Roland started to sweat and glanced at her. "I-Is something wrong, Enoch?"

"...You are a terrible person." She pouted and said, "This whole time you were our big brother and you didn't say anything." She looked over at Eos and said, "Right, Sis? It's terrible."

Eos flipped a page in her book and adjusted her glasses. Glancing at Roland, she said, "It is a bit rude, yes. But I'm sure he had his reasons. ...Right?"

A veiled threat in her tone.

Roland quickly nodded and said, "Of course. I simply didn't want to disappoint Lord Rudras... Or Father." He paused and looked up at me. "...Should I call you Father? You're similar, but different. And calling Sylphy and Eris by White Mama and Red Mama is a bit..."

I waved my hand and said, "You can keep calling me Lord Rudras or whatever, Roland." I paused and said, "After all, Roland's not your real name either, is it?"

He shook his head. "No. My real name is Sieghart. Sieg for short."

"Eh?" I blinked. "Wait. Your name's Sieg?"

Roland... Sieg?

No. I'd still be calling him Roland.

Roland nodded and said, "Yes. I heard from White Mama- I mean, Mother, that you were the one who chose the name? Apparently, he's a great immortal hero from ages past... Though I've never been able to find the story."

Alright. Coincidences were scary.

The fact that Roland was named Sieg by whatever version of me or Rudeus Greyrat was his Dad wasn't that bad.

But when it took into consideration the fact that I summoned him with what was essentially a homunculus, that the summoning spell I used was modeled after the one in a famous anime involving a war for the holy grail and mythical heroes, that one of the main characters in a particular version of that anime was named Sieg...

Roland looked at me and said, "Is there a problem?"

"...No. But do you mind if I keep calling you Roland? I've kind of gotten used to it already."

"Of course."

"Good."

Right. That was good.

...Still had a *whole* lotta questions for him, but that cleared the air a bit-

Wait.

I stared at Roland and carefully said, "You aren't planning to start a revolt, kill me, and attempt to rule Arcadia as the one true king, are you?"

"What? No!"

An immediate reply. Sincere too.

That was good.

Also good that I didn't call him Mordred. *That* would have been awkward.

...Though if I did, would I have summoned a daughter between me and Eris or something then?

I had a feeling that would happen.

But anyway, focus me.

"Good- Ah, wait. Do you want the kingdom? If you're my son, you're technically my heir. And you're of age, so I can definitely just hand it off. Rika can't say anything against it, and you're capable enough..."

"F-Father?"

Did I shock him?

Roland seemed to have been stunned enough by my offer to call me Father despite the fact that I wasn't really.

Or maybe 'I' did something similar where he was?

Either way, the shock and concern on his face were telling enough.

I smiled and said, "I kid. Rika would kill me if I ran off so soon."

Especially since I promised creating a self-sustaining 'system' to enforce laws and stuff for people who agreed to live here so that crime wouldn't be an issue.

"Anyway..." I looked around the table and said, "Are we clear on where we stand with Eos, Enoch, and Roland?"

Sylphy nodded. "Yep!" She giggled and said, "Now I'm technically a Mommy!"

Stella looked up from her crib and tilted her head. "Mommy elf... Melf?"

...I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

Eris pursed her lips. "...So I'm a step mom?"

Ena shook her head and smiled at Eris. "Nope! Eos and I don't have a real mom, so... Mommy is Mommy!"

Eris shuddered and then looked at me. "Rudy."

"...Yes, Eri?"

"You're weird. You know that? Everything is always weird around you."

"But you love me anyway, right?"

Eris blushed and looked away.

"Jiii..."

I pointedly ignored Stella's judging look and said, "Alright. Then with that settled, let's move onto the next order of business. Namely..." I laced my fingers together and leaned forward. "...Operation Reunion."

-RNG-

The roof of my tower, jutting out high in the sky with clouds drifting past.

It wasn't like that originally. And on the inside, there was a bit of space warping to make walking to the top easier, but outside it towered over everything around, giving me a bird's eye view of my kingdom and the distant horizons.

But it wasn't enough to find what I was looking for. No matter how far I scanned with my Clairvoyance, I didn't see any sign of Mom or Mama Lily.

Not only that, but the entire Central Continent was blocked by a barrier now, preventing me from looking into it.

That would have been worrisome, if it wasn't for the fact that Orsted's mana was powering it and that it used some of the patterns I taught him that trolled Being W by repelling and dispersing his mana.

Anyway, that aside... Mostly because Dad would have found them already if they were there, I looked around the rest of the world and then frowned. "...I can't see them anywhere. You guys?"

"...No. Rika can't see them either. Both with Clairvoyance and Rika's All-Seeing Eyes."

"Tch. This One hates to admit it... but This One also cannot see them."

Rika and Kishirika.

To double check my work, I grabbed the two of them and asked for their help looking. But if they couldn't see them either...

"Are they not here yet then?"

From gathering all of our information together, it seemed like everyone was accounted for except Mom and Mama Lily.

Master Roxy and Aisha were safe in the Ranoa Kingdom, with Master Roxy taking a teaching position to fund research while Aisha enrolled in the classes to learn magic.

Dad was with Pierre and Miss Rostelina in Milis doing... something. From the chaotic situation and the frequent white fogs blanketing the area, I had a feeling it was mostly to troll Being W.

By chance, it seemed like Uncle Philip and Auntie Hilda had been transported to the Strife Zone with Ghyslaine, Mister Laws, and Miss Rose. With their forces combined, they had established a foothold and were also playing a Kingdom maker game.

Eris, Sylphy, Norn, and Stella were obviously here with me.

So everyone important was accounted for except for Mom and Mama Lily.

They definitely weren't on this continent. Even without Clairvoyance, I would have been able to pinpoint the mana from the items I made them.

...And interestingly enough, I couldn't scry them either like I did with Norn and Aisha.

That left a few options.

1. They were trapped in a dungeon somewhere, the distorted time making it impossible for us to find them.

2. Being W had trolled us all and hidden them away where no one could reach.

3. They weren't here yet.

The first was possible. But it would only be possible if the dungeon had insanely distorted time. Somewhere around the scale of a hundred years in the span of an hour. And no dungeon like that existed in this world.

Through cross-referencing the notes that Enoch made from calculating the time distortion rate in the Magic Continent and the correlation to ambient mana, something that could distort time like that would have to be on the same scale as the ridiculous cheat Being W pulled to scatter us.

In short, not happening any time soon considering how much of a blow I dealt him.

The second was also possible, but unlikely for the same reason as the first. Also, that guy would definitely try to send me into despair by tossing out some hints because of how pissed he was at the end there.

So it wasn't that.

Then it just left the third option.

Mom and Mama Lily were still being summoned.

As recent years... months... however people mentioned time now in this distorted world, time was a wibblywobbly mess that was made even worse from Being W's latest stunt. Enough that I could summon people and even children from different timelines, like Roland.

That meant that it was possible Mom and Mama Lily just weren't here yet.

There were a *lot* of reasons for that. And also a lot of different hypothesis for when they would arrive... or if they had already arrived in the distant past.

But whatever the case, they were safe.

After all, if I never saw them dead or harmed, that meant that the timeline where that happened had yet to pass.

I could worry about it, but it was better to think that they were safe for now.

That left only one thing to do.

Rika looked over at me and placed her glasses back on. Staring at me with glittering rainbow eyes, she said, "Have you decided then, Rudy?"

Kishirika turned to look at me as well and crossed her arms. "Yes. Have you decided to accept This One's proposal?"

"Yes, and no. Yes I'm going to go forward with 'Zenithia.' And no, I'm not going forward with 'Dragon King.'"

Kishirika pouted and said, "But you would be perfect! That hair, those eyes... And with your plan for a floating kingdom, you could replace that Perugius as a great Dragon King! Especially with that terrifying mana and the support of the true Dragon God!"

Rika chopped Kishirika's head and said, "You are immature as ever."

"Ow!" Kishirika spun around and growled before pointing at Rika. "And you are terrible! Resorting to violence against This One... Have you no decency?!"

"Say that to Rika when you wear proper clothes instead of an outfit suited to a pleasure slave."

"Hmph!" Kishirika crossed her arms under her chest and said, "This One is proud of her body! Though childish now, when fully grown-"

"You will still appear to be wearing an outfit suited to a pleasure slave and also be mistaken as such. Honestly." Rika rubbed the bridge of her nose and said, "Perhaps Badi was a bad influence..."

"Do not speak ill of This One's betrothed!"

Rika snapped and said, "This One shall speak as ill as This One desires of her own betrothed who valued a vow made to a pretender god over life with his wife."

"...What?"

I wanted to sigh. I really did. But instead, I stared at the two and said, "Stop fighting."

A calm and level voice.

Kishirika flinched and quickly bowed her head. "Th-This One apologizes, Great Rudras Demon Lord Sir."

Rika rolled her eyes at Kishirika, but she looked at me and lowered her head. "Rika apologizes, Rudy."

"Good." I nodded and said, "Then..." I looked out at the horizon and said, "We've got a lot of work to do now." I glanced at Kishirika and said, "Just so you're aware. If you or your fiance stands against me, I will end your existence."

Kishirika gulped. "Th-This One understands. But Badi..." She frowned.

"Well." I glanced at Rika and said, "If he's being blackmailed or manipulated, I'll just beat him half-dead."

Rika smiled. "Thank you, Rudy."

I smiled back and placed a hand on Rika's shoulder. "Thanks, Rika. You're the best friend I could ever have had."

Rika's smile widened and she said, "And Rika thinks that you're much better than Rika could have imagined."

"...So as my best friend..." I quickly stepped back and performed the signature Greyrat appeasement ritual. "Please run the kingdom for a while so I can reunite my family!"

"..."

"...This One thinks that your Demon Lord King is sick in the head."

"...The more time passes, the more This One agrees." Rika sighed. "But This One thinks that a silly and compassionate king is better than a mad and cruel tyrant. So..." She knelt down to look at me and said, "This One agrees. Since you have listened to This One's guidance and avoided the path of the Tyrant Magic God Laplace..." Rika smiled. "...I'll reward you with this. But don't leave me alone for too long, okay? I might decide to take matters into my own hands."

I quickly stood up and smiled. "Thanks, Rika. You're a life saver."

Rika rolled her eyes and waved me off. "Go make your preparations already. I'll keep the kingdom running smoothly, Rudy."

"I owe you. Really."

"Then I'll remember."

Smiling one more time, I warped inside to get things ready.

And then I was ambushed.

A silver-haired beauty with transparent undergarments.

A blushing red-haired beauty with white wraps around her chest as a makeshift bra and a racy black thong...

"So, Rudy..." Sylphy licked her lips. "...It's fine now, right? I've endured long enough now, right?"

Eris stared at me with hungry eyes and gulped. "Y-Yeah. Mister Ruijerd's watching the kids and your kids are out, so... It's fine to let loose, right?"

I suppressed my instincts to run away. That would make it worse. Especially for Eris. Since she had been holding back this entire time, it would definitely end terribly with her exploding in public and throwing herself on me without any reason, turning into a mad dog in heat since she seemed to *definitely* inherit that part of the Greyrat genes.

So...

You've got this, me. They ambushed you, but they hadn't taken the first strike yet. In that case...

I threw off my coat and walked forward, forcibly suppressing the inner cringe and internal screaming. Instead, I put on a confident look and said, "Be careful what you wish for."

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

-SNG-

Ruijerd's house, down near the adventurer village. Sitting in the crib that Roland carried over, Stella glanced in the direction of Rudy's tower and frowned.

Norn noticed and followed her gaze. "Is something wrong, Stella?"

Stella sighed and said, "Nii-cha is a dummy."

Her gut was telling her that Onii-chan was being ecchi again. And since Eri nee-chan was there too... and since she was ecchi enough to suggestively fondle a sword hilt and practice some specific motions in public... All while panting and staring at Onii-chan...

Yes. Ecchi.

Norn frowned and said, "That's not nice, Stella. Big Brother is a genius."

Stella nodded. "Yes. But also dummy."

Norn paused. "...When you put it that way..." She sighed. "I guess so. Big Brother can be a big dummy at times too even though he's so smart."

A crash from outside the house.

"Dammit!" A brash young girl's voice. "I told you that it was going to break, Isolte!"

"And who was the one who said we should use wooden sticks instead of metal, Nina?"

"That's because metal makes the meat taste weird!"

"And how do you expect wood to hold the meat long enough to cook without burning?"

Ruijerd's sigh echoed and he said, "Girls. Do not fight."

Ena's voice echoed and she said, "Yes. My sister and I have acquired plenty of meat to cook. Of course, Roland helped as well. Right, Big Brother?"

"Please do not call me that."

"But you *are* my big brother. Technically."

"...Technically. Even so-"

Eos sighed and said, "I suggest you give in. Sis is incredibly stubborn."

"...If you insist, Eos."

"Hey! How come you don't call me by name, Big Brother?"

...Maybe Stella shouldn't have compared her Onii-chan to a cheat isekai MC or thought of herself as an MC. Because it was starting to get real annoying living in a comedic slice-of-life every day...