Chapter 160 - Elder Brother’s Advice

Both men left the training ground and returned to the courtyard they'd moved into on the second terrace level, directly opposite the courtyard that Ao Wen and Feng Xi had occupied. As bachelors, it felt strange to them to take an entire courtyard for themselves and each courtyard was more than spacious enough for two people. In truth, all four of them could have occupied a single courtyard with ease, but both Zhang Bai and Tang Jin felt that it was better to give a measure of privacy to the women in their small group. 

"So, what do you want to drink?" Zhang Bai asked as Tang Jin flopped on the cushions in the older man's sitting room. Zhang bai had left the decisions regarding decorations entirely to Shuli who had brought a level of tasteful refinement to the space that Zhang Bai appreciated but couldn't have achieved if he'd been asked to choose his own furnishings. "Is this a 'tea and talk', 'cheap beer and bitch', 'strong wine and complain about women' or 'I hate my life and liver so liquor' kind of night?"

"I don't know," Tang Jin said, slumping on the cushions. "Wine or beer I guess? A bit of both?"

"Cheap wine then," Zhang Bai said, grabbing several small jugs and taking a seat across from Tang Jin. "So, where do you want to start? Women? Something else?"

"Something else," Tang Jin said, pulling the cork out of a jug and drinking a hefty swallow of the heady wine before staring at the bottle in shock. "What in the Heavens is this?"

"Stingberry Wine," Zhang Bai said, knocking back a deep gulp of his own. "Sting Berries grow like weeds near the mines. Every time someone hacks back the vines, some locals will come pick the berries and sell them for a spirit crystal a barrel. It's cheap, but since they grow near the mines, there's enough energy there that drinking a few bottles of the wine can knock out even third stage Martial cultivators," he explained. "Now, no stalling. What's on your mind?"

"I don't feel like I'm really needed here," Tang Jin confessed. "You and Sister Wen are doing so much to build this place and pay for everything. I don't know formations so I can't help design anything or empower our new home. I don't know alchemy so I can't raise funds for everyone's cultivation the way Sister Wen is. Even Sister Xi feels like she's pitching in more as an Artist with all the decorating and everything she's doing in the gardens to make this place feel more like a home than just a house. If you look around, where's the thing that I did? I feel like I've been working but half a dozen mortal laborers could do just as much as I've done."

"So?" Zhang Bai asked. It wasn't that he didn't understand the point his young friend was trying to make but he wanted to see how much the younger man had really thought things through. "We've been here less than a full moon. What do you expect to have to show for yourself?"

"That's just it, I don't know," Tang Jin said in frustration. "I thought we'd be hunting in the Darkwood by now and that I'd have had a chance to hunt up something or have some achievements to contribute. Instead, I just made a mess of things when we were house hunting and I still don't feel like I've made up for that," he explained, taking another deep drink of the potent wine. "Is this supposed to taste this tart? Do people really like this stuff?" 

"It's fine, just keep drinking," Zhang Bai encouraged his younger friend. "It's an acquired taste but it's not nearly as bad as Sister Wen's last elixir. Back on topic," he said, guiding Tang Jin back to his problems. "What makes you feel like you should be able to do more than you're currently doing?"

"Aren't I doing less than everyone else?" Tang Jin said. "You can't tell me that I'm helping the group as much as you are."

"And why should you be able to?" Zhang Bai asked. He knew the answer, but he wanted to hear it from the younger man first. 

"Aren't I a Soldier, just like you? Except I'm already behind," he complained, taking another deep swallow. "You're a Soldier and an Initiate, Sister Xi is an Understudy and a Brawler, Sister Wen is… is Sister Wen," he said, wise enough at least to not try to compare himself to the most extraordinary person in their group. "I could handle it if I fell behind Sister Wen, she's… special. But I'm falling behind everyone else too. I even broke through before you did," he said, pointing his jug of wine at Zhang Bai. "But I'm still falling behind." 

"Brother Jin, how old are you?" Zhang Bai asked gently. 

"This will be my sixteenth winter," the young man said, pointing a thumb at his chest. "Old enough to be a man."

"You're sixteen," Zhang Bai said slowly. "You're sixteen and you're already a Soldier. I'm twenty eight this year," he said bluntly. "Yet you broke through before me. Sister Xi is almost eighteen, Sister Wen is… is Sister Wen," he added, unsure how to describe the age of their reincarnated friend. "If we ignore the time she spent in her memories, she's still older than you by a year and if we include that time, she's older than Sister Xi by a year or more."

"But I," Tang Jin started, only to have Zhang Bai interrupt him. 

"Brother Jin, you're younger than all of us and your cultivation, at least your Martial cultivation, is just as far along as mine is, and the same with Sister Xi. You're not falling behind, you're racing ahead," he explained. "It's just that you're looking at where we are now, and not where we were at your age. There's nothing wrong with your progress and there's nothing wrong with your contributions."

"You're sure?" Tang Jin asked, his face beginning to flush with the potent wine. "Because I think I found something I can do, but that's my other problem."

"Oh? What did you come up with?" Zhang Bai asked, curious where Tang Jin's mind had been. 

"Well, it's not entirely my idea," he confessed. "You remember Lingling? The woman, who, um, when we were sick and," he started to stammer. 

"Yes, I remember Lingling," Zhang Bai said with a smile. "Was she the one who snuck in your bed when she was playing nursemaid to you or was it her friend?" he teased. 

"Um, it was Lingling," the younger man said, his ears burning as he remembered how awkward he'd been when he woke to find the slender woman draped across him after his fever had finally passed. "Anyway, she mentioned that there's an arena in Lantern City where challengers can fight for spirit crystals…"

"No," Zhang Bai said. "Wait, let me explain that 'no,'" he added, realizing he might have shut down his young friend too quickly. "Do you want to earn money or impress a woman?"

"Um, both?" Tang Jin said honestly. 

"Fine," Zhang Bai said with a grin. "The arena sounds good because you get to show off your strength in front of the woman you want to impress, but honestly, it's a bad idea. Fighting in an arena is different from fighting spirit beasts. You have to be so much better than your opponent that you don't just beat them, you can show off to the crowd while you do it. That's a whole different skill you don't have yet." 

"Then what am I supposed to do?" Tang Jin asked helplessly. "I still want to do something more to help everyone."

"And you still want to impress the girl," Zhang Bai acknowledged. "Brother Jin, we're going to be done renovating our new home in a few days. Be patient. Once we do, we're all going to go hunting, and if Sister Ao is busy with her clinic, then the rest of us can still go hunting without her. The trick about women like Lingling is, they really don't love you yet. You don't know each other well enough for it to be personal yet. You have to work up to that. For now, she's in love with the IDEA of you. The idea of a powerful Young Lord, a rising star whose cultivation has reached the second stage well before twenty years of age. You don't have to impress her with feats of valor that she gets to witness in an arena," he explained. "You just have to dazzle with the stories of your exploits and the fruits of your labor."

"Meaning?" Tang Jin asked, not entirely following Zhang Bai's train of thought. 

"Meaning, go hunt a fierce spirit beast and have a winter coat made from its fur," Zhang Bai said, gesturing out the window with his mostly empty jug of wine. "Or sell beast cores and buy her a necklace with the money from that. Show her that you're capable of being the kind of man she dreams of and she'll be interested enough to get to know the kind of man you actually are." 

"Really? That works? Then why don't you have a wife yet if you're so good at this?" Tang Jin asked. 

"Because," Zhang Bai said a little awkwardly. "It works too well. Right now, you aren't interested in the real Lingling any more than she's interested in the real Tang Jin. Once you get past the bit where you're both interested in learning about each other, you run the risk of learning that the Idea of Lingling is different than the Reality of Lingling. She might not be the kind of woman you actually want to be with and that's fine. You might not be the kind of man she actually wants to be with and that's fine too," Zhang Bai said, emptying his jug and opening another one. "The point is, you have to get far enough along to find out. I've found out a lot, but I haven't found anyone who I like the Reality of as much as I liked the Idea of. Well, except for Sister Ao, but I'm pretty sure that she only has eyes for Sister Xi and that's not a competition I'm capable of winning," he said a touch morosely. 

"So if you keep trying but you never find someone you like, why do you keep trying?"

"Because," Zhang Bai said with a smile, passing over a fresh jug for his young companion. "Even if it doesn't work out, the hunt itself is still fun. Things don't have to work out every time in order to have fun on the way to figuring out whether they'll work out or not. Now, tell me what you know about Lingling and let's see if we can figure out what you should hunt up for her so you have a shot at hunting her!"