356. Agents of Chaos Part II ~Saber-Rat-Slicer~

"Hey..." said Miguel, entering the scene through a portal. "What'd I miss?"

An ax flies toward them.

Josuke senses this. "GET DOWN!!!"

Everyone gets down.

*SPLAT!!!*

"RAUGH!!!" yelled Miguel. "FUCK!!!"

The ax hit the wall behind them and bounced back to Miguel's foot.

Miguel pulls the ax out of his pants.

Miguel squints his eyes as he sees an old enemy of his.

"Uncle Romeo..." he whispered.

Romeo Kujo, AKA Cheapshot, stood up on a building and stares down at him. "Gotcha... You led us right to him..."

Meanwhile... DIO stood on the building next to him. "SPACE-RIPPER STINGY EYES!!!"

*BZZT*

Everyone gets down as the liquid heat blast melts the wall in half.

DIO drops to the ground.

"DIO!!!" yelled Jotaro.

"Ho? You're approaching me? Even after you saw what I'm capable of... You're approaching me?"

"Fuck off... Suta Purachina!"

Star Platinum appears and blasts several punches at DIO, which The World blocks.

"MUDA!!!"

"ORA!!!"

"WRYYYYYYYYYYY!!!"

*BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!!!*

Jotaro punches DIO in the face over and over, but DIO grabs his throat and starts sucking his blood.

However, Miguel tosses his stick into DIO's eye, as DIO shrieks psychotically.

Miguel pulls it back using telekinesis and charges toward DIO.

So do the others.

However, Cheapshot begins throwing knives at the others.

Gabrielle ends up punching the knives to pieces.

Shizuka turns invisible.

Irene crawls on the walls toward Cheapshot.

Yurielle curves the knives away from them.

Josuke woges out his Aswang wings and flew toward Cheapshot.

Miguel stabs DIO in the neck with his sticks as he growls.

"Long live the king..." whispered Cheapshot, as he shoots Miguel in the head, killing his current body.

Irene then zaps lightning at Cheapshot, but he dodges and climbs down the building using a grappling rope.

Suddenly, Jotaro shocks DIO with some Hamon as DIO stops time instinctively and teleports away.

"Jotaro..." he sneered. "You... Heheheheheheh... You're rather ill... Are you doing fine, Jotaro?"

"Fuck off..." Jotaro coughs harder and limps backward. "Damn... didn't take my pills..."

"Well, well... You may be able to stop time for five seconds... But this... I will enjoy this..."

"I could actually stop time for a whole minute..."

"I CHRISTEN HACKS!!!"

Miguel opens a portal and dropkicks DIO. He then wraps his legs around DIO and tears his hair out of his head as DIO roars. "You don't christen hacks! You call 'em!"

DIO then freezes Miguel's lower half of his body and breaks them into pieces, killing him again.

"I believe that they sat in your native tongue... Jotaro...KONO DIO DA!!! WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!THE WORLD!!!"

Time stopped...

"ORA!!!"

DIO's head is crushed but Star Platinum, as his brains gouge out.

"Bad idea to stop time at that moment since I can do it longer...HAMON!!!"

DIO suddenly disappears in front of him.

Jotaro's eyes widen as he sees that he has bashed The Rat King's head instead and that DIO is actually behind him.

"That's what I call, 'hypnosis...' An old trick that I can't believe worked on you..." sneered DIO.

"Yarou...!" he steamed.

Time resumed.

Rat King, however, healed immediately.

"WHAT!?" asked DIO. "How did you not die...!?"

"Y'know... You remind me of someone that pisses me off..." whispered Rat King. "Sadly... I don't remember! Could I interest you with any BJ's?"

DIO blasts liquid heat vision at Simoun, but the lasers pass through his face. "IMPOSSIBLE!!!"

"EXACTLY!!!" cackled Rat King. "Anyway! I'll just go into my dumpster to take a nap!"

DIO tries to blast him with his liquid heat vision but Star Platinum grabs his eyes, having DIO's eyes explode. He shrieks as The World aimlessly punches toward Jotaro.

"MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA!!!"

Star Platinum blocks all of the punches and grabs a pipe, stabbing DIO in the head.

*SPLAT!!! CRACK!!!

Jotaro tries to use Hamon, but his breathing is worsening.

"Useless! Useless useless useless!!! JONATHAN COULD PUT UP A FIGHT!!! I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU HAVE DEFEATED ME BEFORE!!!"

Meanwhile, Josuke grabs Cheapshot from the ground and starts punching him with Prince. Cheapshot, injured, falls to the scaffolding and into a dumpster.

Josuke then throws a frisbee he catches from the sky into Cheapshot over and over again.

"Well? You give up, yet, randomly weird murderous psychopath?"

Cheapshot takes out a knife and throws it at the wall.

Josuke senses that it's about to strike him, so he dodges.

"Interesting..." said Cheapshot. "You look like Miguel and you're just as annoying as he is..."

"TRY A VERSION OF HIS DAUGHTER!!!" Gabrielle punches Cheapshot over and over with Stone Free. She is about to summon Ballbreaker and Go Beyond, but Cheapshot immediately and instinctively ends up shooting her in the face twice while she does so.

*Thud!*

"Gabrielle!" yelled Josuke.

"I'm..." she whispered, as her strings formed her head again. Her head bleeds and her eyes are nearly blank. "Okay..."

Josuke woges and tries to bite Cheapshot, but Cheapshot stabs Josuke in the chest with his horns.

"JOSUKE!!!" yelled Gabrielle, angry and scared.

*ZAP!!! ZAP!!! ZAP!!!*

Irene blasts lightning at Cheapshot over and over.

Shizuka, meanwhile, strikes Cheapshot in the face with a pipe she picked up over and over. She paces around him and strikes at the area where he's not looking.

"I see you..."

Cheapshot randomly throws his knife and ends up stabbing Shizuka in the chest. Irene is horrified, seeing that he managed to somehow detect Shizuka. Shizuka bleeds heavily as Irene runs to her, catching her. Irene then heals her as Shizuka becomes visible again.

Irene weeps.

"SHIZUKA-CHAN!!!" yelled Irene. Irene heals her using her strings. "You're gonna be okay!"

"Nee... chan..." Shizuka drools blood as her eyes go blank and spiritual steam began to leave her body.

Cheapshot limps away, but Gabrielle's Stone Free's strings pull his ankle backward as he trips. Gabrielle begins to pull him toward her like a spider.

Cheapshot then throws a knife into her body over and over again, causing her strings around his ankle to loosen. She lets go because of the immense pain. Gabrielle bleeds heavily as Cheapshot stands right back up.

Suddenly, a satellite dish falls toward Cheapshot, but he sees this and precisely dodges it.

Josuke bleeds heavily as Gabrielle slowly heals him. She can't heal him faster because she is injured.

Cheapshot then limps away. "Fuckin' teenagers these days don't know how to respect their fuckin' elders... Y'all horny fuckers fuckin' people's wives and daughters... Disgusting FUCKS!!!"

"HEY!!!"

Cheapshot hears someone behind him.

"Nobody hurts my family," said Yurielle. "ALL THE WAY!!!"

"YES MA'AM!!!" yelled all six Nos.

Yurielle shoots at Cheapshot four times.

"No. 2!" yelled No. 1. "PASS PASS PASS!!!"

"No. 1!" yelled No. 3. "PASS PASS PASS!!!"

"No. 3!" yelled No. 5. "Could you please pass?"

The four bullet Stands pass four bullets toward Cheapshot, who immediately shoots all of Yurielle's bullets into pieces.

"Damn! I made 4!"

Suddenly, Cheapshot shoots at Yurielle, but All the Way curves all of the bullets away.

"You Ibarras sure are annoying..." said Cheapshot.

"We're called... JOJOS!!!" yelled Yurielle. "And we are... THE JOJOCORPS!!!"

"JoJoCorps? Fuckin' stupid name..." said Cheapshot.

Cheapshot shoots at Yurielle five times, but she just keeps on curving the bullets away. She approaches him, and Cheapshot starts to get worried.

Meanwhile, Miguel teleports in front of DIO and bashes him in the face with his sticks over and over again.

DIO blasts several punches at Miguel using The World, but he blocks all of the attacks with his sticks.

"A primitive weapon for primitive people..." sneered DIO. "Sticks? I have found ten useless items in a house alone that could serve better than two measly pieces of-..."

Miguel sticks his stick into DIO's eye, as he shrieks again.

DIO's The World kicks him away. "WILL YOU STOP DOING THAT!?"

Jotaro keeps on coughing and coughing.

Miguel tumbles backward and ends up next to Jotaro.

"You're sick, aren't you?" asked Miguel. "I could heal you..."

"Not exactly..." said Jotaro.

"Why?"

"I got it from DIO's World Over Heaven."

"Shit... It's a cosmic disease, huh?"

"The others are fine because of their mutations... But because I was biologically the oldest human there... I gained the disease around ten years ago... The Dimension-Hopping only worsened it..."

"Jesus Christ... May he help you... I can't help you because the disease is beyond my available power... I can do earthly diseases... But cosmic? I need to increase my power stat higher..."

"Thanks... *cough cough...* It's starting to spread... Don't tell anyone... especially not Shizuka and Irene..."

Miguel nods. "You got it. You can count on me..."

"So? How do we beat this piece of shit?" asked Jotaro.

"He killed your grandfather, right?"

Jotaro clenches his jaw. "Yeah..."

"Try not to think about that... Think about who you can save now... I go right, you go left. Try using your Hamon while I use my own thing. On three..."

Miguel clicks his tongue thrice, and the duo attack DIO.

Miguel goes write and attacks DIO, exchanging fists with the Vampire.

Meanwhile, Jotaro goes left and fights against The World using Star Platinum.

DIO cackles, but Miguel chuckles.

"HAMON!!!" Jotaro fails and The World stabs his neck with a knife that was on the ground the whole time. This knife was one of Cheapshot's knives he threw at Miguel earlier.

"Tch-!" Miguel was not expecting this cunning.

DIO sneers. "You really thought Jotaro could still use his little trick as I stab his throat... Now he can't breathe... Heheheheheh... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"Plan's not even finished yet, jackass..." sneered Miguel.

Suddenly, a portal opens from the other side of the world as sunlight burns half of DIO's body.

"NANIIIIIIIIIII!?" asked DIO, roaring as he begins to dust away. "WHAT THE FUCK!? GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! HOW DARE-!? I THOUGHT YOU SHOULD NOT KILL AT ALL YOU HYPOCRITICAL FUCK!?"

"You don't have a soul..." sighed Miguel. "Your Stand is only an empty echo of one... So you don't have one... Your soul was already given to Kuya Lucifer when you became the heathen you are right now... Because you're not a Daywalker, asshole... So I could kill you all I like..."

"FUCK!!! FUCK!!!" he boomed.

Miguel's portal begins to get wider as DIO begins to burn up. "And... I actually get to kill this time... I kinda have a boner right now..." he licked his lips.

Suddenly, time stops, and DIO is gone.

"Shit..." said Miguel. "He didn't dust away... He stopped time and crawled away somewhere..."

Miguel limps toward Jotaro and whispers a prayer spell to St. Raphael, healing Jotaro.

Jotaro gasps as he stands right back up.

"That was how he killed... Jonathan and JiiJii..." said Jotaro.

Miguel bows his head and grabs Jotaro's shoulder. "We're fine now..." Miguel's eyes widen. "Shit!"

"Nani?" asked Jotaro.

"Follow me!"

Meanwhile, Yurielle successfully approaches Cheapshot and punches him in the face.

Cheapshot is knocked out.

Everyone is still down, and Yurielle approaches the others.

"AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! WELL, WELL, WELL!!! SUCK MY TITTIES AND MILK THEM GOOD!!!" A blind Bill Cipher appears before them. "I SAW EVERYTHING!!! That was so Goddamned entertaining! I gladly brought DIO back to be healed and Cheapshot to fix that broken nose over there!"

Yurielle realizes that Cheapshot is no longer behind her.

"AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"How?"

"Huh?"

"How... did you... 'see everything'?" he sneered.

Bill's blind eye twitches. "Was that supposed to be funny?"

"How... Bill? Or... did you just lie just now?"

"I CAN SEE BEYOND THE PHYSICAL REALM, YOU LITTLE BITCH!!! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON SIMOUN JOJO, I WILL TEAR HIM TO PIECES RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU AND COLLECT HIS TEETH TO MAKE A GODDAMNED NECKLACE OUT OF IT AS IF RIP YOUR LITTLE OVARIES OUT!!! GOT THAT!?NOW... WHERE IS THE RAT KING!!!?"

"Probably in a dumpster somewhere..."

Bill vibrates and creates an earthquake. "YUUUURIIIIII!!!"

"I'm being serious..." said Yurielle.

"SO AM I!!! WHERE IS THE GODDAMNED RAT KING!!!?"

"If I tell you, I doom everyone. No..."

Bill prepares to blast the others with a laser he warps out.

"I believe you need to strike a deal with us to do that... You're just here to intimidate us, no?"

Bill sighs. "Look... I just need the Rat King. Is that too hard to ask?"

"It is..." Miguel appears behind Bill along with Jotaro.

"Yo," said Jotaro.

Bill vibrates and shakes the world again. "You..."

"I'm the reason why you're handicapped. I feel like I should be canceled for that..." said Miguel.

"Yeah! Why aren't you!? WHY. AREN'T. YOU!?"

"Then again, you're an anarchist sociopathic piece of shit with far-leftist ideas of chaotic destruction of all of reality's laws... so... Gooooooooooooooo... FUCK YOURSELF!!!" Miguel laughs and does a little dance while the camera zooms in to Bill as his eye squints.

"Don't you dare insult me..."

"Then stop bein' a little bitch, Billy Boy!"

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh..." Bill growls.

"Come on... you deformed scalene fuck..."

Bill cackles. "I LIED!!! I CAN KILL YOU, PEOPLE, RIGHT NOW, ASSHOLE!!! I HAVE STRICKEN A DEAL!!!"

"Then why'd you-!?" asked Yurielle.

"TO GIVE YOU A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY!!! AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! NOW THAT YOU'RE ALL HERE-!!!"

He blasts a laser beam that rotated and blasted all of them... But...

A portal followed the laser teleported the beam... somewhere else...

"Hey..." said Rat King, walking toward Bill.

Rat King's hands have dust all over them. "It seems one of you killed my beloved wife..." He began to tear up. "Wh-Which one of you was it...?"

Everyone points to Bill.

"Pfft! Oh, please! What is Simoun going to -!?"

*BANG!!!*

(theme begins)

Rat King poses in front of Bill Cipher as the wind blows his hair and coat backward. "Alas... I'm gonna have to kick some ass... Heya! That kinda rhymed!"

Rat King woges into a Reinigen and shrieks as he puts Bill ahold and begins warping him into an infinitesimally falling world as he shrieks in pain as gravity pulls his body apart like a noodle.

Bill tries to dust Rat King but Rat King summons several unknown red Kris blades as he tosses them toward Bill, who is ripped apart like paper. 

He regenerates as Bill summons his canes and blocks all of Rat King's blades, so Rat King takes out red Kris blades on his hands and slices at Bill over and over, having a way of fighting similar to Miguel Ibarra's arnis style.

"Y'know... I usually just mind my own business... But when people do something as horrible as ruin my day... even if it's as simple as calling me names and laughing at me too much for a dumb joke... or even as simple as forgetting my birthday... I get pissed... But what you just did... makes me want to murder you..."

Rat King tosses blades at Bill over and over again as he slashes his Kris swords at Bill over and over. 

"So I'll kill you... even if it's a hundred times over!"

His cloak acts as a cape that gracefully follows his movements. 

"A thousandfold, even! Then I'll crush you to pieces!!!"

Bill uses his cane to slap his top hat away, but Rat King tosses a blade into Bill's eye as he catches his hat and lowers the brim of his top hat down. 

"Die..."

His eyes behind the sunglasses turn red as he sneers.

Rat King spins and cuts Bill Cipher in half.

"A-X-O-L-O-T-L!!!" yelled Bill, as he poofs into nothingness...

(theme ends at 2:01)

Rat King warps his wife back in his hands. "I'll go fuck this mannequin in a dumpster."

Everyone stares at Rat King walking away, confused.

"I don't think he needs protecting..." said Josuke.

To be continued... in Arc II...

Note: P lease watch and subscribe to the performers of the openings. Dress-Up Town, RichaadEB, and Jonathan Young... Because these guys are really, really cool. And I don't really deserve having their content in my fanfiction. So please do...