Hard Truth

The bell rang and I felt so relieved as it marked the end of the maths period.

That was way too poetic. Nevermind...

Anyway I'm just glad that the maths period finally came to an end.

If something is more confusing than maths it's only one thing and that is how I started loving her than I have ever loved myself.

Well they say every love story starts with one special moment. Well… not all, I guess; How did I start loving her more than I loved myself? I guess I will never know.

But ever since I entered Grade 10, she became the center of my little universe.

Day by day, I caught myself staring at her for hours, listening to her laugh, eavesdropping on her chats, and feeling my heart stop when her name popped up in a conversation.

Was I a simp? Yeah, totally. All for her. Am I still the same? Hell yeah, still just as lost in her.

She was in Grade 9 back then, one year younger, but far ahead in ways I couldn't quite put into words smart, confident, and always surrounded by people. Simply my complete opposite.

I have moved up a grade but I still catch myself staring too long, hanging onto the sound of her laughter like it's my favorite song.

Damn... Why do feel so poetic and all when I think about her. Maybe it has something to do with all those love stories I read. Yeah, totally.

Back to myself. Let me introduce myself. I am Liam it means "strong-willed soldier". I don't know why my parents named me so because I am the complete opposite of everything that name means.

Meanwhile her name matches perfectly. Her name is Jaanu and her name means my life or simply my soul. And the name 'Jaanu' is a term that is used to express love for another person.

Aww... How cute she is. Just the thought of her sends the butterflies in my stomach soaring like they are dancing in the breeze. Liam, you are being too poetic again. You really need help.

Most of the time I feel that I should go and talk with her but how am I supposed to do so without ever taking to a girl atleast once in my whole damn life.

So yeah let's just postpone that until I gather up enough confidence. Until I feel confident enough to say hi to her and make her realize that I exist.

Liam, How long are you going to take to gather up enough confidence? Forever?

So if I talk about Jaanu a little bit more, hmm... My friends don't find her attractive at all.

Yes! I do have friends

You might think that's because my friends are very loyal to me and don't want to break my feelings. No, not at all. To be honest I don't even think that they realized I have a crush on her.

Well... Eventhough they did, they would just make fun of me for my "lack of taste in women" eventhough they don't find her attractive, I do. And no that was not the reason I didn't tell about her. The real reason is that I don't believe those guys at all.

So let me talk about my best friend or should I say girl best friend; the only person who knows about my crush on Jaanu. Well..People say that male-female best frienships are based on sex and all. Oh please, I am still 15 and what we have between each other is just emotional support.

So let me talk about Selene and How I actually met her. So both my father and Selene's father knew each other. As a result of that both of us met each other very often. But we rarely talked to each other.

When time passed we started going trips together and started spending more time together. Nope, I didn't go and talk to her. But she came and talked with me. She was very friendly and a well disciplined girl. No, she ain't the same right now because that was post friendship time period.

So anyway after all of that. We were still not friends. Yes, I was a very introverted person back then.

But keeping that apart, you might be wondering how both of us grew up such a strong bond between each other. Well that I can't even remember myself. All I could remember is that we started attending classes and parties together.

As far as I could remember, Our friendship grew mostly through texts. At first those texts were based on class homework and all but as time continued to move on it changed to personal life.

Well why did I give her such a long long introduction. Oh well that's because she's the only person I entrusted my secret with.

I would talk with Selene for hours and hours about her. I talked about her so much that she came to the point of asking me "When did that quiet, innocent kid become so annoying?"

Oh don't worry that was not an insult. I take things like that as a compliment.

That was a joke by the way ( for nerds)

If I talk a little bit more about Selene, she likes to read books in her free time.

Well you might ask me, "Liam, what do you like to do in your free time?"

Well... Unlike her I like to do important things in my free time. Yes! things that are way more important and helpful than reading books.

And that is... Wait for it... Thinking about Jaanu and trying to figure out why I love her. Yes, that is a very important task for me. Eventhough I don't plan to do it intentionally.

Most of the time I wonder how she would react after finding out I have a crush on her. Will she make fun of me.

Liam, she is not a person like that and you should first go and talk to her rather than keep thinking about her smile, her gorgeous eyes that angels envy and her golden feathers that only I can see. Liam, that was too poetic

Sorry about that, I was just thinking out loud a little. To be honest to myself I feel that I should go and talk with her first before I start texting her out of the blue.

Umm... You know small talk. God has made things a little bit easier by putting both of us in the choir. Well now that's decided. All that is left is to do is to take action.