Guarding Undesirable Average Relics of Dragons

I craned my neck up toward the sky and clenched my eyes shut when I see the huge scaly beast dive bombing toward me.

"Stooooop! I'm too useful to die!" I yell.

'Okay, maybe I am not useful. And also, I want to die. Why am I yelling? Hmm... it's probably because I am a coward who is afraid of death.' I think to myself.

The dragon continues diving straight toward me until it lands with a ground shaking boom. The way it landed left me standing right in between its front legs. At least, I was standing for a second until I got knocked off balance and fell on my back.

I feel the dragon's mind reach out to my own, "Finally! A human. I haven't had a good supper in far too long."

Still on my back, I attempt an awkward scramble backwards.

"Okay, I lied. I am not too useful to die. Actually I want to die. Go ahead and eat me." I close my eyes and cover my face with my hands.

"Human... did you just attempt to use reverse psychology on me?" The dragon asked.

"No! I swear. I am just a lonely human who wants to die, because why live?"

"This got awkward. I make a joke about eating a human who is trespassing in our land and now all of a sudden, I feel like I need to give him counseling."

"See? This is what I mean. I am just a burden on everyone. Even the people who want to eat me."

"No. That isn't what I- Wait. I don't have to explain myself. Human, take more pride in life."

"What? You think just because you are a big scary dragon you can tell me what to do? Nope. I am going to continue being a lonely person who wants to die yet is scared to... wow. Even I realize how pitiful that sounds."

***

And that is how I ended up here. I rest my head in my hands as I sit staring at the treasure chest. That stupid dragon thought I needed counseling, so he took me back to his dragon city. Although, the city was more like a huge cave system with a bunch of dragons crawling in it. He took me to this old looking dragon that wore glasses, and no, I did not know that dragons could wear glasses. Anyway, that dragon said that I needed a reason to live, so they stuck me on stupid guard duty, watching over this chest.

"Will someone please tell me why these dragons are concerned with my mental health?" I ask the air. Instead of a response, my voice only echoes in the small empty cave.

"It doesn't make sense. I don't need a reason to live, just a cause of death," I look around at the empty cave, "Anybody? Anybody want to help me out?" Of course, there is still no answer.

I walk over to the chest and kick it, "Open up, you rotting tub of wood." ...the chest didn't listen.

"What am I even guarding?" At this point hearing my voice echo off of the cave walls is just a form of entertainment for me.

"Helloooooo. Hi. Hola... Okay, this is getting boring." I walk back over to the ledge that I was sitting on earlier and take a seat.

According to the bespectacled dragon in the city, if I was given a purpose to live then I would start to understand the value in living and would become much more in-tune with my-

"So, you must be the final boss," A scary looking adventurer with full armor and a broadsword in hand walked through the entrance to the small cave I have been put in.

"Boss? Nah. Are you suicidal too? Is that why they put you in here?" The man gives me an odd look, "Hey, at least it will be less boring with two of us in here."

The man shakes the confusion from his face, "I am here to kill you. That chest is mine."

"Hey! Kill me if you want, but that chest is MINE. They gave it to ME. It's my reason for living, you know." A bit of anger creeped into my voice.

"Your reason for living isn't too great if you don't care if I kill you..." The man tightens his grip on his sword and jumps toward me.

As the man lunges at me I dive behind the chest, "Agh!"

The man makes his sword start glowing and then swings it, but the blow is caught by the chest, causing the top of the chest to explode.

"Ow!" I yell.

"I didn't even hit you!" The man yells back.

"But that was MY chest!"

The man stopped trying to kill me once the chest was opened. He let his sword drop to his side and looked into the chest.

"This... this is all junk." He says in disbelief, "I made it through that maze and all the traps and monsters just to find loot that wouldn't excite a toddler."

I push myself up to my feet and peek in the chest, "Hey, it isn't that bad... I mean a toddler couldn't even fit in that armor, so of course they wouldn't be excited. If you are so disappointed then just leave."

"This can't be it. A dungeon in the dragon's land can't have such trash in the final chest."

"It isn't trash! It might be a little underwhelming, but it's all I have. Quit complaining and get out of here."

"Maybe if I kill you then the real chest will appear." The man tightens his hand around his sword and locks his eyes on me.

"You know? I am kinda peeved that you just broke my chest, so you aren't allowed to kill me anymore. I'll find someone else to do it."

I plunged my hand into the chest and grabbed a shield. The metal on the shield flopped as I grabbed it by the edge. I quickly put it on arm as the man lunged at me again. His sword started glowing again and the blade crashed into my shield, the shield flopped like a piece of paper and I was thrown backward into the wall behind me.

"Hey, have you realized that I am not a monster? I am a human. I can't be the boss." I attempt to reason with the dense armored fellow.

He only grunts and walks toward me. This time he jabs instead of slashing. I close my eyes and hold up the shield. When I open my eyes, the sword is sticking through the sheild just in front of my eyes. I drop the sheild and the extra weight on the end of his blade causes his sword to dip. With that I rush in and tackle him. We crash to the ground, and I land on top of the cold, unforgiving plate armor and his head knocks hard on the ground. I scramble to my feet and put some distance in between us, but he doesn't get up. I work up the courage and go to see that he is out cold.

'Hah! If he is that weak, then he must have a stronger death wish than mine, going around and trying to conquer dungeons... oh, that's right. That means I am in a dungeon. Huh.'

I strip the man of his equipment and put it on myself. I sorted through his pack and found some food, but I was told I would be supplied with food, so I don't have to worry much about that. He had a few coins in his coin pouch. I set that in the corner behind a stalactite. After I was done looting, I went through my chest, but there was nothing worth taking from there. I decided to grab a dagger that was in there, just because it was small, and I can hide it easily. When I finish that I drag the man into the hallway and go and sit back down on my ledge.

I really thought that the old dragon was just full of it, but I actually got pretty mad when that guy broke my chest. It is kind of nice to have something of my own... although it is broken now.

I sat on my ledge for a while longer, but I was starting to get tired. I went to check on the adventurer from earlier, but he was gone. I wasn't sure if he left or was taken, although there were some drag marks in the dirt of the hallway.

"Guess there are monsters here."

I walk back into the room and lay down behind the chest and fall asleep thinking about the day's events.

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was that the chest was fixed. Actually, it was replaced. This chest was similar, but the color was a bit different.

"Oh, cool! I get a new chest."

There was a note on the front of the chest that read, "I am proud of you for fighting to survive. I hope that you keep that will to live strong."

I stared at the note. I have never felt so played before. Did they send that guy in here? I don't feel like this is how you should give people mental help. My thoughts are pushed to the back of my mind as I hear muffled footsteps in the hallway.

"Again? But I don't wanna be made to want to live. It's no fair."